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chelle21689's avatar

Is it common to feel "scared" of your boss?

Asked by chelle21689 (6675points) April 28th, 2014 from iPhone

As some of you know I’ve worked at this place for a job I’ve been trying hard to get.

One crisis manager didn’t like me but it turns out she doesn’t like a lot of people and she’s a negative person always complaining.

I’ve thought this place was awesome but the longer I’m here the more I see how fake it was. Some people are cliquish although nice, my supervisor is fair and cool with me but she seems fake. She is nice to everyone but talks crap about some people… So it makes me wonder if she talks about me.

I’m not scared of her and she makes me feel like I do a good job but I’m scared constantly of the big boss. The boss of our department. Now he’s a nice guy but I feel like I can never do anything right like it’s not good enough even though I try.

Some of my ideas I spit to him and he forgets it and if someone else higher up suggests it he will bring it up and forget I’ve mentioned that idea. He is a big perfectionist and even got on me how I staple lol…that was a first.

I’m constantly worried if I’ll do something to upset him. Sometimes my supervisor directs me to do something when I ask for her help and it ends up being wrong sometimes and I get the blame.

I’m not in big trouble or anything but it’s just small little things that can add up and make me look bad…and I can’t rat my supervisor out because she’s in charge of me and my reviews, the boss thinks she’s perfect and constantly tells me to look up to her.

He expects me to know everything at the top of my head when he asks me a ton of questions like it’s an interrogation (he does this with everyone), considering I’m relatively new with some things I tell him I need to refer to my paperwork. I don’t know at the top of my head the 250 employee’s supervisors and the status of my 20 applicants plus new hires unless I go look at my notes, I feel like he expects me to be like my supervisor because she’s been there for years and knows everything.

I know how to do my job, I don’t make the same mistake twice, and it seems like every day something small but new in a different scenario is thrown at me where I have I ask a question. Is that normal also?

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7 Answers

Dutchess_III's avatar

I had a boss who felt that it was best to rule by intimidation, rudeness and sarcasm. She didn’t care for ideas other than her own. She wasn’t very bright and would constatnly forget that she’d told you to do something a new way, and when she “caught” you doing it the new way, would write you up for not following established procedure. She was just dumb.

chelle21689's avatar

Can a boss me nice but intimidating at the same time? When I first met him he seemed and still seems nice and heart warming but very stern I guess. I just constantly feel like I’m not like my supervisor and it’s an unfair comparison.

Sometimes I even get questioned for something I’m doing or what I don’t do and I look bad when my supervisor never taught me about it. She’s not a bad mentor but we are human and we make mistakes.

I just hate how I feel scared all the time around him that I’ll be in trouble.

Dutchess_III's avatar

How long have you worked there?

chelle21689's avatar

Only 3 months

Unbroken's avatar

Do you typically have a problem or fear of authority figures? Do you work well under pressure? Have you had a good relationship with a boss or someone higher up the chain then you? Do you feel like you not only have to prove yourself to them but to you,low self esteem, feeling defensive

Barring those situations it could be you are in an extended adjustment period. Maybe things aren’t an exact fit or your company isn’t used to a high turn over or just the opposite has a high turnover and thus don’t bother to train and make the new people welcome because they are tired of having to do so.

If a job makes you uncomfortable and you’ve tried a lot of problem solving techniques you should start looking to move on. Life is too short to feel like the people you spend an inordinate amount of time with are judging you.

The other thing you could do is read a few books on business and management, working in teams… Whatever you feel will help.

chelle21689's avatar

My supervisor is “higher” up than me but not exactly senior management. I ask for feedback on my performance but most times she just says I’m doing fine.

He’s just a perfectionist so she said she’s perfected what he wants and it’ll take time. He’s difficult to please and will pull every single detail out of you so be ready.

I think it’s harder on me because we have a huge turnover with social workers and mentally ill patients. To be honest no one wants to work for low pay with a patient that treats you like crap. So it stresses the managers out and I guess puts stress on me to recruit with little resources we have. But my supervisor says it’s been that way for years and we just spin our wheels, singing the same tune because of low pay. Non profit can’t compete with big dogs.

I’m just sick of managers not doing their job and I get the blame sometimes. But I can’t ask them questions because it’s “questioning” authority or checking up on them. Im giving this place 7–12 months lol

jca's avatar

I didn’t read the previous answers because of time but right now I’ll just throw down my opinion.

If you suggest things, put the suggestions in email form to two people – the big boss and your supervisor, so more than one person knows that the suggestion came from you, should the idea get taken up in the future. That way, there’s a time and date stamp on it showing that the suggestion came from you.

As far as the big boss goes, try to stay out of his way and just lay low for now.

To me, new on the job means put your head down, avoid gossip and lay low till you really get to know the organization, the players and the structure. You don’t yet know who is trustworthy and who is not.

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