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jca's avatar

As an adult, what is or what was your relationship with your parents and step-parents (if you had step-parents) like?

Asked by jca (36025points) May 3rd, 2014

As an adult, what is or what was your relationship with your parents like? Did you have step-parents and if so, how was your relationship with them?

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12 Answers

Dutchess_III's avatar

Both of my folks loved me. I know that. But Dad was kind of aloof. Loved to dispense wisdom (and he was pretty good at it) but not so good at listening.
Mom was an angry person who used to throw God-awful temper tantrums.

I was closer to my Mom than my Dad as an adult, though. Mom welcomed us, Dad pushed us away. I remember calling him once just to say “Hi.” He actually told me not to call him just to chat. To only call him if I had something to tell him. Well, so, of course, that caused me to cut way back on my phone calls to him. I’d call him if I bought a house, or was moving, or was pregnant, but never just to chat. And then he complained because I never called him!

Blackberry's avatar

I have a good mother, but she was a single parent and worked a lot. I was at home alone or in my room frequently. She gave me some pretty bad beatings occasionally that made it hard to really feel close to her, but I recognize she worked her butt off for me. I had a great upbringing, but I never felt close to her anymore around pre teen age because when I started getting into trouble, her punishments became too physical sometimes.

Blackberry's avatar

Thanks, Dutch. But it’s ok I have a decent life now :)

FlyingWolf's avatar

I can take my dad or leave him. I send birthday and Father’s Day cards and see him when he comes to town (once or twice a year), but beyond that I don’t really communicate with him. He was widowed when I was young and he remarried when I was around 30. I don’t consider his wife my step-mother and my relationship with her is much like my relationship with my dad, I can take her or leave her.

I have often thought that I will be totally bummed if my children grow up to be apathetic toward me the way I am toward him

ibstubro's avatar

My parents and I had a falling out when I was 21–22. I had backed myself into a bit of a corner, and they tightened the corner as tight as possible as a condition of helping me out. I told them at the time that I would accept the terms, but that I would never get over it. I was good to my word. My father is now dead and I’ve not spoken to my mother, more than a few sentences that reinforced my decision every time she again tried to get the upper hand. What a crazy witch.

cookieman's avatar

Dad’s dead five-years now and mom is mia just as long.

No relationship currently.

Aster's avatar

Acceptable. Enjoyed my mother ; was distant from my father but he was a good and cheerful provider, there were no arguments in the house and I’m not complaining.

JLeslie's avatar

It’s pretty good. My dad can be stressful, he is more needy. He feels more manipulative even though he swears he is not trying to manipulate anyone. I talk to him about once a week, sometimes twice. I talk to my mom a little less. I like when my mom calls actually. I see them 2–3 times a year. I have lived out of state since college. Being with them gets easier, thank goodness, less stressful than it used to be. The stress usually comes from feeling like I have to do a balancing act between them and my husband, which I partly blame my husband for. I also am in the middle of my sister not speaking to my father, which created tremendous stress in the past, but that has eased up.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I have always been closer to my mom. My parents divorced when I was 18 and my dad pushed me away at that time, saying that I was taking my mom’s side. My mom has remarried and I do call/consider her husband my step-dad, even though he didn’t raise me as a child. If there is something I am having trouble with, he is right there trying to help. He has also been a wonderful grandfather to my children. We live a few hours away from them, but I talk to my mom on the phone several times a week. I haven’t spoken to my dad in years.

Unbroken's avatar

I estranged and am still estranged from my father. He is a negative force that I don’t have the time or energy to deal with.

Things have been gradually improving between my mother and I. She is a caregiver personality also trying to make up for lost time, which can be grating even though in general I am grateful, with my disability I’ve been leaning on that this past year a bit. that means we have had more of a chance to communicate then ever before. We are very stubborn so it has been hilly but over all improving.

My step father came after I left the nest. He is a nice man, and while we have some similar tastes in music and such we really haven’t bonded. But every year I do know him a bit better.

imgr8's avatar

My parents and I were never close. My dad loved, still does love me, very much but he was always working out of town, he’d come home maybe one weekend a month. My mom was bitter. She married my dad, who was 7 years older than her, so she could have kids. She wanted the kind of life she got, knew what she was getting into, but changed her mind. We lived in a big house with lots of money but my dad was never home. She was lonely and she took it out on my sister an I.
As a young adult, I don’t spend a lot of time with my mom. In her own way I know that she loves me, but I don’t feel that love and it hurts me so I mostly stay away. I’m fairly close with my dad, but he was never a real parent to me, and now acts more like a friend than a father. Oh well.

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