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nimarka1's avatar

My 15 year old Sister is using drugs, what should I do?

Asked by nimarka1 (942points) June 3rd, 2014

My 15 year old sister and I live in different countries so we don’t spend a lot of time together. I know she has been going to a lot of raves recently, and posts pictures on FB hinting very well she was going to “roll” and take MDMA/Molly. So my girlfriend confronted her about the pictures and confessed that she tried it for her first time. This was three weeks ago. During this time I have been so confused on what to do. Should I even make a big deal about? Tell my siblings that do live in the same city as her? Tell my parents? Do I want t freak them out over one time?
Well, this passed weekend she told me that she went to a two day rave and took MDMA again. So this time I did panic and tell my siblings. We are all worried, yet we still don’t know how to approach the situation. I’m afraid to confront her about how feel, that she might close up and shut me out, and stop sharing about her life. And start lying to me like she does to the whole family. I know I can’t just do nothing because if something were to happen I would regret it for the rest of my life. I know its not an addiction, but could be the beginning of a very slippery slope. Any ideas? Thanks!

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26 Answers

MollyMcGuire's avatar

Tell mom and dad. The sister is 15.

CocoSmith's avatar

My sister also lives far away from my parents and I. We gave her many suggestions when she had the first boyfriend and she said she knew but actually not.She closed her ears to our words. Now her life is miserable and I don’t know how to communicate with her. I hope your sister won’t turn a deaf ear to your words.

AshLeigh's avatar

Raves are wildly inappropriate for a 15 year old. And she’s doing drugs? The only thing you can do is tell your patents.

Thammuz's avatar

She’s a minor, and a teen. She’s dumb and that’s precisely what parents are for.

Would you rather she be safe at the price of being hated, or not and not?

El_Cadejo's avatar

Eh I don’t know how exactly to feel about this one. I mean my gut is to say “no, this is wrong, you should try and do something and at the very least tell your parents.” , but if I’m honest with myself, I was doing precisely the same thing at that age. Some people just need to experiment.

zenvelo's avatar

Tell her that since she has been public on FB about it, you will be informing your parents. And then talk to her about her being at risk for taking Molly, since it is sold as pure ecstasy, but that Molly is really a chemical mixture made up in a kitchen.

And tell her it’s not about her using drugs as much as it is about her using really dangerous stuff. You can tell her that you don’t want your parents to be shocked if she ends up in the hospital or dead.

GloPro's avatar

@El_Cadejo makes a good point. Although 15 is extremely young, some people experiment. I don’t have an addictive personality, and I’m sure that saved me in the long run. I didn’t do my experimenting until college, which probably also saved me. I could recognize when things had gone too far, both in individual situations and in people.
I made a list in high school of drugs I considered taboo for myself: heroin, acid, crystal meth, and a few others. Making that list made some choices no-brainers. I have never touched anything on my list, and never will.

What you choose to do depends on your beliefs and your relationship with her. Posting her use on Facebook could land her in jail. It also opens doors for frank discussions and decisive actions. Just remember that 15 is an age that tends to shut naggers out. Choose the angle and approach wisely.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

When I was that age I knew I was bulletproof and did a lot of stupid stuff. If you confront her she’s going to shut you out. Can you Skype with her and get her to open up a bit? That’s a tough situation, good luck to you and it’s nice you’re looking out for her. But we all have to make mistakes in our own way.

Darth_Algar's avatar

There’s not a whole lot you can do. You can’t stop her, and any attempts to do so will just make her resent you. If she wants to use drugs then she’s going to use drugs. Honestly, the best thing you can do, since you can’t stop her from using, is provide her with guidance and information so that hopefully she can make informed decisions about drugs and use them safely.

El_Cadejo's avatar

I agree with @Darth_Algar make sure she’s at least educated about what she’s putting into her body so she can do it safely. You can also buy reagents to test the what is actually present in the powder. Good way to avoid taking dirty stuff. Clean MDMA is actually rather safe as long as you don’t take too much and stay hydrated.

ninjacolin's avatar

I’ll make a suggestion about what you should tell her between the two of you: Tell her that if the drugs she’s taking are actually horribly bad for her, they ARE NOT going to feel like it. Chances are they’re going to feel like the complete opposite of bad. So, it’s one of those instances where the danger can’t be felt through the experience. Essentially, you can’t trust your experience with drugs to know whether or not they are okay. You have to look at the scientific studies and trust the data instead.

It’s a matter of being smart or dumb. Follow the science to stay smart. Ignore the science to be a dummy.

And there have been lots of studies already. It’s not like we’re just guessing at this point. Don’t do drugs before you’re done growing. Simple. You stop growing around 23–25. So, wait. That’s all you have to do. At that point, 23–25 you’re safe to make a decision about it. But at younger ages, it’s just not a good idea because it damages your body in ways you don’t deserve.

A good example would be if you have a younger sibling or cousin, say who’s 6 years old. Would she want her to try drugs at that age? Well, guess what.. the risks associated with age aren’t over at 7 or 8 or 9 or 15 or 17.. Wait until you’re done growing up. Then make your decisions about narcotics. That’s what smart people do.

nimarka1's avatar

Thanks to everyone who has responded so far. I do want add that my girlfriend did tell her that obviously its her life and we can’t do anything to stop her, but if she is going to do it, then at least be smart about it. Get informed on what she’s putting into her body. She sent her some articles about how it affects the brain. Im not sure if she read them or not. Doubt it. She also told her to protect herself, there are supplements that protect your brain. and to not be so obvious with those stupid FB – she’s just asking to get caught that way. But as soon as my girlfriend told her all of this, she already started to pull away because she doesn’t want anyone to tell her what to do. She responds with things like ” awww thanks, i know!” or “whatever, i gotta go”…

GloPro's avatar

Oops. Probably too far gone to listen. If you have any stories about your experiences, good or bad, start there. Move into why you quit.

ibstubro's avatar

If she has brought it up on Facebook, and you have told your other siblings, then you probably need to get one (or all of the parental-local siblings) to tell your parents. It only makes sense if you would have to tell them long distance, and if you are the only open line of communication. She’s 15, she’s breaking the law, and she’s putting herself at serious risk. As long as she’s a minor and (I’m guessing) still living with your parents, then she’s putting them at risk as well, to a degree.

If your sister was your kid, what would you want done?

El_Cadejo's avatar

@nimarka1 Just tell her to read . It’s completely unbiased and will lay out in plain terms the positives and negatives of pretty much any drug you can think of. It’s also really nice because there are a TON of experience reports on there to read so one can get an idea of what they are in for both short and long term.

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GloPro's avatar

Well, if it will enlighten her and bring her consciousness, then who wouldn’t try it?
Consequences, on the other hand, don’t sound so hot. ;-)

DaDuede's avatar

stop her first !
drug addiction is really dangerous..
it ruins the life !
tell your parents ..
explain her the disadvantages of addiction…
hope you’ll be successful :-)

El_Cadejo's avatar

@DaDuede Use ≠ abuse.

Thammuz's avatar

Ah, the teen years, the last bastion of natural selection in humans.

DaDuede's avatar

@al cadejo
I’m not abusing the use , I’m talking about addiction.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@DaDuede Addiction would = drug abuse….

DaDuede's avatar

@El cadejo It ruins the Life seriously ..
visit some rehabilitation centers in your area and see the patients of drug addiction ! then you’ll get me I hope :-)

GloPro's avatar

@DaDuede I believe @El_Cadejo is simply stating that to use drugs does not directly correlate to addiction or abuse. It’s the argument for recreational use.
Others might say that to partake in any illegal substance is to abuse the substance.
Abuse also does not directly correlate with addiction.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@GloPro Thank you! I would add that while abuse doesn’t directly correlate to addiction, addiction does correlate to abuse. At least in my definition of abuse. By that I mean you can abuse a substance a few times here or there and not be addicted to it. But those that are addicted are most definitely abusing it.

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