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GloPro's avatar

Can I get some opinions? (Details inside)

Asked by GloPro (8311points) June 4th, 2014 from iPhone

A good friend came to visit me from South Africa last week. Just prior to her arrival she asked for my physical address for UPS to deliver a leather jacket she purchased in Houston and left at her friend’s house there.

The package had my friend’s name on it, not mine. She got a delivery confirmation email on Friday at 1:45pm. I got home at 4pm and no package was waiting. Long story short I contacted all 4 businesses below my apartment and none had gotten the package. My neighbor also said she didn’t see the package.

I called UPS and they sent the driver back over. He told me he left the package right beside the wide open door to my neighbor’s apartment. I believe that because she always leaves that door open. Just inside that open door is a chaise lounge, which currently has 3 name brand, expensive leather purses sitting on it. Those bags are not a foot from the door.

I pressed my neighbor again. She denies ever seeing the package. I cannot fathom that the one time anyone ever comes upstairs to our deck is the two hour window after a package was delivered, and that package is the only thing stolen when 3 purses were less than 2 feet from the open door the box was left in front of.

My friend returned to South Africa and filed with UPS. UPS Houston wants to file a police report against my neighbor for stealing and wants my statement.

I am torn because I cannot see how only that package was taken. My neighbor has blatantly lied to me in the past, and has commandeered a couple of clothing items from me, but I struggle to believe she would steal this jacket (although it is a $500 leather jacket). She is a very good friend to me and helps me with my dog. We take care of each other. This situation has the potential to ruin that friendship.

Ask additional details as needed. Advice or feedback is most appreciated.

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16 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

Let UPS accuse your neighbor, just give the police the facts as best you know them. Don’t say anything that is speculative on your part.

If UPS or the Police have some way of determining that your neighbor took the package, more power to them. But since you don’t have proof, just speculation, stay out of inflaming the situation.

Coloma's avatar

Try to remember that assumptions, regardless of what appears to be, are just that, assumptions until proven otherwise. However, that said, if you know for a fact your neighbor has lied to you before, well…an unfortunate situation but still, without proof positive it is still all speculation at this time. See what UPS can find out first and just play it cool with the neighbor, watch her behavior, body language, eye contact. Just observe, don’t accuse.

rojo's avatar

Being as you were not present, your statement should be pretty straighforward. I was not home. I got home at whatever time, there was no package there. I met with the driver/deliverer who told me he left in at the open door next door to mine. My neighbor stated to me she had not seen it.
And let it go at that, don’t add speculation, rumor, or your disbelief at someone entering the building in such a limited timeframe.

jca's avatar

Maybe UPS doesn’t really intend to file a police report. I would think they have insurance to cover things like this. They are really at fault, I would think, for not getting a signature when the item was delivered. I am thinking they are saying they want to file a police report just in case you are not being truthful, it will make you want to tell the truth. Like @zenvelo said, just tell the facts and let the process unfold.

jca's avatar

I am also wondering how or why you are friends with someone who has lied to you in the past and stolen from you.

cheebdragon's avatar

Touching the purses would have changed what would have been mail fraud which is already a federal crime, into mail fraud & breaking & entering/burglary. If I wanted to take a package, I wouldn’t have touched the purses either.

That being said, in all honesty it was probably your neighbor that stole it, in which case, who cares if they file a report against her, fuck her for being a klepto, you don’t need someone like that as a friend. Trust me.

stanleybmanly's avatar

UPS is going to take the fall. Leaving a pkg by an open door is by no means my idea of proof of delivery. Accusing your neighbor of theft under such circumstances is not only an exercise in futility, it is healthy justification for a juicy defamation suit.

Strauss's avatar

It’s the delivery driver’s bad. Just stick to the facts.

GloPro's avatar

For the record: I believe my neighbor had to have stolen it. It makes the most sense.

It’s a strange friendship. She’s 67. I love her dearly and she is a good friend. I see her many faults and they drive me batshit crazy. That being said, she is a good person at the heart of it. We live next door regardless, so I am inclined to genuinely enjoy her companionship knowing her faults. She loves me and my dog as if we were her children. Our house is being torn down in September and I don’t feel the price of ruining a good friendship I enjoy is worth it. It’s a very touchy spot to be in.

I feel like I’m in a lose/lose
situation. I flat out told my South African friend I would not accuse my neighbor of stealing without proof and will not assist in filing anything more than my view of the interactions I had. I can not control the police approaching my neighbor. I feel caught in the middle.

flo's avatar

How can a delivery person just leave the item there like that? Don’t they have to get a reciept?

longgone's avatar

Is this the neighbour that doesn’t have a lot of money? Do you think she might have sold the jacket?

Shouldn’t the UPS man have knocked and let your neighbour know, at least?

LornaLove's avatar

I don’t know, to me it sounds like it is an issue she should follow up with UPS. What a lot of bloody drama for a jacket? Plus, accusing a person of theft is way out of line with no proof. Good God. Your friend sounds like a drama queen and your neighbor dodgy.

GloPro's avatar

Well, my neighbor flipped out when I mentioned the police would come by for our statement. Very telling. She told me that I was being vindictive (even though I have nothing to do with it) and to leave her alone forever. Overreacting instead of trying to help pretty much tells me she stole it. My hands are washed of this bullshit. I don’t need the drama. I wrote a dry retelling of my interactions with no speculation and directed the police to her house. If she wants to dig her own grave so be it.

ibstubro's avatar

Re-read your question, details, and I think this was all obvious, FYI.
Your instincts are good, trust them more

Response moderated (Spam)
Coloma's avatar

I agree, the hysterical, over reactivity is telling. Bah…. lying lunatic be gone.

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