Social Question

Aster's avatar

Would you consider this good manners or trespassing at 9am?

Asked by Aster (18220points) June 6th, 2014

My s/o let the dogs out for five minutes this morning which is against the leash rules. A lady walked into our garage and ran our doorbell. I don’t know what her message would have been , her mood angry or friendly but my s/o, true to form, took off for the end of the house. I ignored her since he let them out.
Was she rude and trespassing or trying to inform us that our bichons were out? I want to add there is zero traffic on that alley.

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26 Answers

canidmajor's avatar

If the dogs were still out when this happened, I might be concerned that someone was there to tell us one had been injured.
I think it’s a bit trespasses to approach from the garage, but if it would have otherwise entailed walking around the block to ring a front doorbell, I understand it. Does your garage open onto the alley?
Maybe she was going to tell you that animal control would be called the next time, and she just wanted to give you a heads up.
Maybe your dogs sneak into her yard and poop.

I think you should find out what she wants before forming opinions (good or bad) about this.

Aster's avatar

Yes; I haven’t formed an opinion. Yes; the garage opens onto the alley which is paved. Most of the homes on this street have a back entrance to their garages off the alley.

jca's avatar

How have your neighbors been in the past about dogs off the leash? I wouldn’t make any assumptions but knowing their attitude might be helpful.

Where I live, there is a rule about dogs must be leashed, but some people will let their dogs run loose (friendly dogs). However, when there are issues with dogs going to the bathroom on people’s lawns or children getting scared of dogs that run up to them (which is usually the main issue with dogs being off a leash) then the complex will put out robo-calls and remind people of the rule and possible fines for infractions.

Seek's avatar

Walking up to your door and ringing the doorbell is not trespassing. I don’t care what time she does it or for what reason.

Aster's avatar

@Seek I know that for the front doorbell. But she walked into the garage , past the car and up to the back door; it’s all enclosed. I wouldn’t do it .

Seek's avatar

If thre was no injury or loss, it’s not criminal trespass.

Good luck proving in court that her walking through the garage and pressing a doorbell button resulted in harm to you or your property.

canidmajor's avatar

Well, if most homes have garages off a paved alley, then the “zero traffic” you mention is probably wishful thinking. If someone almost ran over one or both of your dogs it would be a matter of serious concern.

Aster's avatar

@Seek I’m going to court? I didn’t know that! LOL
@canidmajor I should have said, “close to zero traffic.” A car will leave, if they’re not retired or on vacation, at 8am and not come back until 6pm. It’s so deserted that people walk their dogs there.

OpryLeigh's avatar

If she just had a quick message for you (ie are you aware that your dogs are out?) then it was probably just more convenient for her to nip through the garage. It’s not something I would be too concerned about. By not answering when she rang you may have made things worse as it could have encouraged her to go straight to the authorities. At worst her actions were only as rude as your husbands for breaking the rules.

zenvelo's avatar

9 a.m. counts as middle of the day. Unless you have a sign up somewhere that says something to the effect of “graveyard shift worker sleeping” then 9 a.m. is reasonable.

And, if your dogs are out without leashes and she knows they are your dogs, then you should not be at all offended or concerned about her knocking on your door, rather she should be thanked for being mindful of your dogs and not calling animal control instead.

FlyingWolf's avatar

@Seek I don’t get the impression that @Aster is hoping to press charges, more that she is trying to figure out this woman’s motive.

I agree with @jca, her motive would be easier to understand with some context about how she has reacted to the dogs being off leash in the past. If she has always been ok with the dogs and never complained, it is more likely that she was concerned that you didn’t know they were out. If she is a sticker for following leash laws, it might be more likely she was going to chew you out.

As for walking through your garage to get to the door, it sounds as if it would be the most convenient for her to go if she was in the alley – which she was since that is where she saw the dogs. I would be a bit uncomfortable walking through someone else’s garage, but if that is the norm because of the layout of the neighborhood, it is probably not a huge deal. Also, 9:00 a.m. Is mid morning so there isn’t anything off about the timing.

elbanditoroso's avatar

It’s certainly not trespassing – no one is going to arrest her for coming across to tell you that your dogs are running loose against the letter of the law.

It may be poor taste, and unneighborly, but it isn’t illegal,

If anything, you and your s/o are skating on the wrong side of the law by having uncontrolled pets on public ways. So .. you’re more at fault than the neighbor is.

ucme's avatar

I cannot fathom why neither of you answered the door.

FlyingWolf's avatar

@ucme I was wondering the same thing! Maybe they knew how this woman would act and were purposely avoiding her? It seems that answering the door would have been a simpler way to get to her motives rather than asking about it here.

jca's avatar

People answering this here can only guess, and probably incorrectly guessing.

ucme's avatar

@FlyingWolf Yeah, but even more mysteriously, her s/o behaved “true to form” & @Aster was seemingly being stubborn.
Forgive me @Aster, but it’s a strange one is this.

FlyingWolf's avatar

@ucme maybe they spent so much time arguing about who had the responsibility to open the door, that by the time one of them got around to it, the neighbor had gone.

ucme's avatar

@FlyingWolf Maybe, only @Aster can answer that though.

tinyfaery's avatar

I think it was rude to go into your garage. Presumably you have other things in that garage beside the cars. I believe that garage is your private property, especially since it’s connected to the house.

I’d be more concerned that my animals are outside unsupervised. I’d be blaming my husband more than the rude lady next door.

Not answering the door is just childish. We’re you scared?

dappled_leaves's avatar

I don’t understand your question. A neighbour rings your bell (whichever bell), neither of you answers it, and you wonder if the neighbour is rude? And why does this have anything to do with your dogs and who let them out?

Is the rudeness supposed to be related to which door she chose? If you want her to exclusively use the front door, why not simply answer the door and tell her to do so in future? And why do you even have a doorbell in the garage if no one is allowed to use it?

I don’t get… any of it.

longgone's avatar

If I didn’t want people trespassing, I wouldn’t let my dogs out unsupervised. Come to think of it, I probably wouldn’t do that anyway.

elbanditoroso's avatar

The details of the garage incident are not really that important.

In re-reading the original post, I see some relationship and character flaws, which make me wonder about the longevity of the two of you.

For instance, you wrote that the S/O ran to the other side of the house – presumably to hide. Does he shy from confrontation in general? Is he a coward? When the two of you argue, does he back down? What I see in his actions is an inability to confront criticism, and an active shying away from it. Is this the mark of a strong personality?

In Aster’s description of herself – “I ignored her because HE let them out” – I see the deflection of responsibility. I thought you were a couple in a S/O relationship. Why, then, did you not act as a couple, and deal with the situation, instead of wimpling out and ignoring the woman at the doorbell.

There are some interesting dynamics going on in your relationship that were uncovered as a result of your describing this incident.

Honestly, I’d be a whole lot more worried about the two of you than the woman in the garage.

Aster's avatar

@elbanditoroso I get what you’re saying but after twenty six years there’s not much to worry about. lol
Granted; we both have flaws.

Aster's avatar

@dappled_leaves The homebuilder put the garage doorbell on the wall. And I never said, “no one is allowed to use it.” Why rip it off the wall and expose the wires? It simply was not used until this morning.

janbb's avatar

Since neither of you had the manners or interest to answer the door when a neighbor knocked while your dogs were out, what is the point of speculating about her motives or behavior here?

Aster's avatar

@janbb Fluther is full of peoples’ speculations and searchings for answers. A lot of it is simply boredom. But I’m just speculating.

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