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jonbanksrules's avatar

How can I convince my parents to let me stay home while they bring my grandma on vacation?

Asked by jonbanksrules (10points) June 29th, 2014

My grandma wants my dad to drive her to Biloxi for vacation, with my mom, me and my sister. We’ll be gone for a week. The problem is, I really don’t want to go. I just really hate Biloxi and I hate incredibly long car rides. I’m not a vacation person. And I know that I don’t want to go with them. My grandma says it’s fine if I stay home, but my parents won’t let me, because they’re scared I’ll get hurt if some worst case scenario comes up. It’s not a case of I haven’t proven myself responsible enough or I can’t take care of myself, they know and trust me to that point already (hard work believe me), but they’re afraid of a robber hurting me, or I might get kidnapped, etc. They ‘re all very paranoid reasons, and the chances of this stuff happening are slim to none. We live in a very good neighborhood. It’s just frustrating because they’ve left me home alone many times since I turned thirteen three years ago, and I have a lot of summer things to do with friends, from studying to just hanging out. For example, I have a study group for SAT’s every week as well and I don’t want to miss that. I know I should probably value this family bonding time, but I know I won’t enjoy it and will just be really mopey. I don’t want to ruin my grandma’s enjoyment (because she’s the only one who benefits to be honest) through my bad vibes. I just need advice on how to convince my parents I can stay home, without being disrespectful or hurtful. It’s difficult because their paranoia itself is unreasonable, but it makes sense that as my parents they would be worried about me.

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10 Answers

janbb's avatar

You sound quite mature and you write well. Is it possible that a friend or relative that they trust could stay in the house with you? Or that you can set up a system whereby you will contact them regularly – maybe once a day at a certain time – to let them know you are o.k.?

CWOTUS's avatar

Alternatively, perhaps you can find a friend whose folks will invite you to stay with them for a few days.

Part of maturity consists in not being mopey, sulky and recalcitrant when we can’t get our way – and we can’t get it all the time – so if the decision goes against you then show how mature you really are by having a good time, or at least acting that way and not spoiling the trip for others.

PS: Welcome to Fluther.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

How long before the week long trip? Could you organise to stay home alone for a weekend or even a night to show your parents they can trust you and you’ll be okay?

It’s hard for us parents to loosen the apron strings. We have to learn that you’ll be fine. I agree with @CWOTUS that staying with a friend (who has parents your folks are comfortable with) would perhaps solve your problem.

CWMcCall's avatar

Your parents are not paranoid, they are YOUR parents who both care about you and want you to be part of this vacation. You will have the rest of your life to be independent to do what you want with your life. There also may be another element of your parents just not trusting you enough to allow you to stay back on your own and you need to accept this reality. Buckle down, go along for this trip which may very well be the last time you will have to be with your family and grandma.

talljasperman's avatar

Say that you want to sign up for summer school.

JLeslie's avatar

Can a neighbor be solicited to check in on you and report to your parents? Or, maybe stay with a friend?

I’m going to assume you are at least 16 years old.

janbb's avatar

@JLeslie She did say she was 13 three years ago so that seems a safe assumption.

GloPro's avatar

Just go. It’s called an obligation vacation. I still do them and I’m in my 30’s. That’s a part of being a family. Sit next to your grandma with a tape recorder and ask her to tell you specific stories from her childhood. You will cherish that tape in 10–15 years.

canidmajor's avatar

The concern may not be entirely about how responsible you are, but about the actions of others your age. If your parents had said to you “We don’t trust that others won’t find out, and against your will have a huge, house-trashing party in our home, over which you have no control, while we’re away” how would you react? Their concerns for you are not paranoid. You are 16. Stuff happens. I would not have left my kids alone in the house for a week at that age, and they were extremely responsible young adults.

The other factor here is, as @CWMcCall says, they want to be with you. Soon enough you’ll be grown and gone and not spending vacations with the family.

You have already decided to be “mopey”, how about deciding to not be mopey?

It’s a week, there’s lots of summer that is not that week.

Mack_Martinez's avatar

Its really sad to know this but you must ask them calmly and say that you don’t want to go i hope they would understand…

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