Anyone want to play the "What If?" game?

What if a blight wiped out all the coco plants in a single season, and there was no more real chocolate?

People will go crazy.
What if we have no problem getting money.

Then we would have a big problem using it to get what we want.

What if you wake up to find yourself being ten years younger?

I would start working out then instead of waiting.

What if all warnings were removed?

It would lead to a major explosion.
What if that diet really did work and the weight also stayed off?

Diets do work, it’s we humans who don’t do it right.

What if all of the clocks stopped?

Sales of sun dials would skyrocket. People would always be late on cloudy days.

What if our pinky toe became our only sexual organ?

I think I might end up with a terrible back problem!
What if the Sun stopped shining because too many people were complaining about too hot?

it would start shining again because people were complaining about it being too cold. The sun is kind of a pushover that way.

What if everyone were attached via string at age 30 to somebody they’d never met before? And they had to remain attached for life or they’d be arrested.

The homicide rate would rise dramatically. What if dogs and cats suddenly acquired cognitive abilities superior to their owners?

Human’s would trick dogs into a coalition where they were the ‘underdogs’. Cats would silently wait it out until there were near equal 2 and 4 legged accommodations, and then quickly seize all power. Of course, once they ruled the world, they’d make the Muslims look like pussycats.

What if we suddenly discovered that there was other intelligent life in the universe, but they appear no more advanced than us. We can neither communicate effectively nor know the intentions of the other?

It depends on how first contact is made. If a Texan is there, he’d unzip his fly to find out who’s the bigger man, and entitled to the universe.
What if the world were like Shallow Hal, and everyone could see beauty only as the inner beauty we have iside?

It would wreck reality television, the cosmetic industry and the plastic surgery business.

What if peace and harmony really arrived in the Middle East?

Then pigs would fly.

What if pigs could fly?

Then they would be delicious and talented.

What if liver suddenly tasted like chocolate and vice versa, but nobody knew until they bit into them?

people would either develop a sense of adventure or stop eating either. probably the latter.

What if people could recharge themselves at gas stations and never had to sleep or eat?

Full service would return, and people would have an option to get a mani/pedi while they charge.
What if mountains were full of fudge and topped with a giant cherry?

Dental care would make more money than Microsoft!
What if there were a real man in the moon?

Then feminists would have a real beef.

What if the Moon was made of green cheese?

It would smell like dirty feet from the earth.
What if there was love between all humans?

Then STDs would be rampant.
What if Skynet was the Matrix.

Then Skynet would be a really big major motion picture.

What if a jelly got stuck in the doldrums?

@Esedess demonstrates the answer.

What will the answer be?

They would eventually return to find the question they originally had an answer for 3 up on the thread, and have to start all over…
What if every human could freeze time for 30 minutes once in their lifetime?

7 billion episodes of 30 minute time freezes. 3.5 billion hours of frozen time.

Would we have extraordinary if unproductive lifespans?

Not if we were being allowed to operate outside the bounds of time for 30 minutes, not stopping the world. That would cause untold mayhem and crime.

What if humans learned to efficiently & economically locomote using hydrogen as fuel?

It would be stepped on by oil companies.
When we purse our lips and blow, there is a whistle. What if the same sound occurred when we pucker and blow a fart?

Then I would have to run for a toilet when I wanted to fart.
What if human are immortal?

Then there should be proof.

What if there is no reality?

Then there’s no need for proof.
What if there is no lie?

Eventually someone would invent the lie and make a whoooole lot of money.
What if the Lava light was never invented?

Then there would no Lava Light.

What if all stop signs were replaced with lights?

Electric bills would soar, and in some suburbs gridlock would ensue.
What if @ibstubro gets back over to my Q and finishes his story?
OR… What if whales could walk on land?

I’ll leave the first statement for @ibstubro.
What if whales could walk on land? People would all be squashed to death!
What if whales could fly?

It would create another occupational hazard for pilots.
What if the sky was always overcast?

You would live in Alaska.
What if pants were optional?

It would put a whole new spin on speed dating! ;-P
What if the entire world converted back to only barter, no currency or credit?

Then my country wouldn’t be so poor :D
What if everyone could speak one language?

When Putin mumbles something, Obama would pop him in the mouth.
What if stuffed animals could actually hear all that stuff you confide to them?

They would change from stuffed animals to stuff animals.

What if money grew on trees?

Then we’d be out of trees in no time.

What if we learned to do without money?

Then being rich is almost meaningless.
What if everything is meaningless?

Objectively, it already is. Meaning is only subjectively assigned, and occasionally agreed-to.

What if we didn’t try to wrestle with such metaphysical questions on the day before a holiday?

Then we’d wrestle with them on the holiday itself, causing drunken existential crises.

What if trees could shout unsolicited advice to people walking by them?

Then we’d have to constantly worry about lions and tigers and bears! OH, MY!

If pigs could fly, how would we contend with the falling pig poop?

Large umbrellas, more efficient storm drain systems with sidewalk-mounted water jets to move things downstream into the drains.

What if unicycles were the only available mode of transportation?

I’d have walk.

What if the sky turns green ?

Pucker up, it’s raining potential Princes so you might make Purple Rain.

What if everything plastic suddenly dissolved back into petroleum?

Civilization would collapse on the spot. The catastrophe would be nearly beyond description.

What if a machine were invented that could manipulate gravity fields up and down?

Wheeeeeeeee! I could be 110 pounds again!
What if we had transparent skin?

Irish people would feel more at home.
What if America were annexed by Mexico?

Batches? We don’ need no steenking batches.

What if Blazing Saddles wasn’t real?

Then I’d have to put my fantasies of Gene Wilder to bed.

What would happen if everyone actually cleaned up after themselves?

Janitors would have to enroll in a trade school.
What if a genetic alteration could rid us of all disease, but it would mean a dramatic change in human evolution?

Then everyone would be X-Men!
Whar if superheroes were real?

I would be married to Spiderman.
What if we all switched genders for a day?

Then for that day, I would live in my true self!
What if nothing happened?

Make something happen!
What if the Internet suddenly dried up altogether?

Everyone would grab their cell phone and gossip about the cause until something new came along.

What if clouds suddenly gained substance and slowly drifted to Earth, like gigantic cotton balls?

We would put on our raincoats and endure.

What if we started seeing USDA Choice human meat in the butcher shops?

Manburgers would dominate the fast food menus. Prisons would become meat factories where the “product” is fed a much healthier diet than at present.

What if a cure for cancer were discovered, but only worked on black people?

That would be great but research would have to continue to help the rest of the world’s people. I would think if they got to that point, they could figure out why it wasn’t working for everyone.

What if we really could take a trip in a time machine; would you be game?

If you took a trip into the past, you would never be able to return to your current reality, because you would have altered the past.
If you took a trip into the future, whatever you saw or learned would be a moot point if you returned, because you would have altered the future’s past.
Better to stick with the devil you know.

What if people could fly, but only with a $230,000 surgical wing transplant that killed a baby eagle?

There’d be a flap of controversy.
What if I shouted “PANCAKES” and kept shouting ‘PANCAKES” for three hours?

The waffle people would bristle with indignation.

What if falling in love was classified as a form of insanity

Isn’t it now?
What if everything were shades of yellow?

Yikes!

What if we had to walk everywhere we went for one year; no exceptions!

I’ve done that, but EVERYONE? Massive demonstrations, chaos, bus and cab drivers out of work, truck drivers with hernias trying to drag all that weight.
What if I put a cake in the frizzer, realize I forgot my daughter, get her picked up to find my home with raccoons in the fishpond, an oppossum in the windowsill, and crow feathers all over the back yard?

Sorta sounds like an average day in your life, but that the squirrel is probably pissed that the possum is in it’s spot.

What if China suddenly stopped all trade with America?

Lead poisonings caused by products at Wal-Mart would decrease before Wal-mart Fails
What if vegetation suddenly became dangerously corrosive to random animals and people?

Then they would be squash, or squashed.

What if we can actually tackle tough questions without having the knives and weapons materialize?

Gibberish? The fork, as we have it, ran away with the spoon.

If the cow jumped over the moon, would there be udder chaos?

We would all have to Mooove out of the way, but we would marvel at the feet.
What would the world be listening to if rock and roll were never invented?

If it were never invented we would throw rocks at each other to keep our sanity, here particularly?

What If Fluther was enhanced if it were inhabited by nothing but rocks?

I would be diamonds, Hypocrisy_Central.

What if there were 4 adoptive parents for every available child?

Tug of war.
What if Lake Superior were tapioca pudding?

Then I would move there forever!
What if everything functioned according to cartoon laws?

I’d be the happiest person ever.
What if you were falling up?

You’d have an inner ear problem.

What if bicycles were sold with mounted machine guns?

The my Mafioso self would take full control of my body.
What if people all let their inner demons win?

There would be no more people.

What if there were only one, universal, language on Earth?

There is; money

What if I did not care, just say what you were going to say, since that is what happens anyhow?

What if there were only one, universal, language on Earth?

My mother and I couldn’t say rude things in Japanese about the freaks at Wal-Mart.
What if we actually did follow the Bible and beat all swords into plowshares?

Plowshares would then be quickly weaponized.

What if there is no heaven or hell?

Then people wouldn’t fear them, and there would be no religion.
What if there was no religion?

We’d have only law, and it would govern by penalization rather than persuasion.
Think about that.

What if Walt Disney were alive today?

Then I would have a chance to see for myself if all those “Walt Disney is racist” rumors were true.
What if we could resurrect all the dead whenever we pleased?

Then the Zombie craze might makes sense.

What if there were no Zombie craze?

Robert Kirkman would be a much poorer man.

What if, instead if greeting each other with a handshake or hug, we engaged in a quick bit of oral sex.

… We’d all get STD’s.
What if we all got STD’s?

The stigma might vanish.

What if STDs were eliminated?

Then there would be no disease because STDs are just the same diseases with a particular way of transporting.

What if every town, no matter large or small, had cheap, reliable, public transportation?

Then cars would extinct, and the environment would be saved.
What if the environment were saved?

The environment is saved.
What if I said what the heck with what if?

What if the environment were saved?

Environmentalists would have to find something else to whine about.
What if we found out that Chuck Norris was always a cleverly disguised woman?

Then we could still admire how “strong” she was.
What if women got muscles and men got “breasts”?

Men would have two less reasons to date women.
What if men had ‘periods’ but bled out their existing equipment?

Men would hack them off.
What if asking non-profound questions caused one’s teeth to fall out leaving only the gums?

We’d all have dentures.

What if we could have lenses implanted that gave us night vision?

There’d be lots less $10 whoring in alleys.
What if there were no $10 whores?

Then there would be any whores except $10 one.
What if postitution were legal everywhere?

There’d probably be a lot less STDs.

What if a sun flare caused there to be no communication beyond land-based for a week. No radio, no TV, no cell phone. Local dial services only.

SOLAR FLARE!?!? Storms have been rolling through here accomplishing nearly that very thing. My phone, internet, tv have been hit and miss for over a week.
What if all one’s dreams could come true, if only one kissed @ragingloli’s pie hole?

Is being kind of disturbing something you can catch?
What if you started licking your dentists fingers while he has his hand in your mouth?

Restraining order? Awkward laughter? I’m going to do that…
What if when people knocked on the stall in a public restroom, you said “Come in”?

blood will flow.
What if you could share your every though with your spouse.

I used to, but he was as warped as I, so it was fun.
@AshLeigh, if you do that, I want to see follow up on your dentist’s reaction. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
What if the frizzer is completely full of cakes now? Do we start eating them? Could they be poisoned?

I think we would now know “Who Done It”. No poison just look under the swimming pool.

What if all Jellies started following Fluther on the same day?

I would have been here for the frizzer, and the marriage proposal, and the moon star or not, and would have had fun fluthering with WTF, and many other cool jellies who are no longer Fluthering with zeal. I would have been on hand to have my answer redacted by the CIA, and I could have been hijacking @Blondesjon before the thread was a year and a half old.
What if God were really some test tube jockey on a spacecraft?

It would mean we could kill him.
What if there were no electrons?

I’d, like, toadally miss my hair straightener and tv and my laptop and stuff.

What if cheerleaders ruled the world?

@longgone (actually you would not exist, because without electrons, no chemical compound could ever form)
Voter turnout would always be 100%
What if aliens thought that Star Trek was real?

@ragingloli then humans would think Kafka’s short stories were literally true.

What if some, but only some, people could re-grow body parts or internal organs they’d lost in a few days, but it was extremely painful?

Both of my legs would work, and I would be Fluthering a lot less, being too busy dancing, walking, hiking, and attending my daughter’s (soccer) futeball games.
What f I were Fluthering less, would you miss me? (Not so subtle beg for lurve)

Who are you?
What if gravity’s range was as small as that of magnetism?

You would float away, maybe back to where you came from.
@ragingloli, I am Satan. Bow low, and never again question ME!
What if all we needed for survival were sunlight?

You would be an actual vegetable.
What if humans had 3 eyes in a triangular arrangement?

Then human would have a backup eye.
What if all our wish came true?

There would be many many dead people and the lottery would be bankrupt.
What if people could sense their outwardness from the center of the earth, that is sometimes pointed up, sometimes upside down, sometimes poking sideways (presumably at the equator)?

Gee, I suppose maps would be configured differently. Perhaps the popularity of some areas would be affected. I don’t believe dancing would be any different.
What if babies were born knowing what they would become as they grow?

No child would ever respect their parents again.
Why bother, when you know that you will be a disappointment to them?
What if Satan was the good guy?

I am the good guy.
What if I spiked your drink with scopalomine?

Nothing. I am immune to all forms of poison. Like Weyoun.
What if human mating required full body immersion in slime and goo tentacles?

As long as I get to be the slime and tentacles, then about 75% of all my sexual fantasies would be satisfied.
What if humans bread with the intention of accelerating beneficial evolution?

There would be riots in the streets over genetically modified bread.
What if Germany won World War 1?

Then pretty much every movie/TV show you’ve ever heard of would never have existed. We’d all have an Autobah and speak German. My mom’s Jewish vagina would have me in a concentration camp where, through intense trauma, I’d likely develop super powers and eventually go on to call myself Magneto. Annnd humans would be forced to selectively breed, but probably in all the wrong ways, resulting in the global genetic setback of a generation.

What if you met someone who was exactly like you, but of the opposite sex?

BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Orgasmic perfection.
What if orgasms threw off sparks of colour which float around in the atmosphere?

Then I could never sleep because a lot of sparks next door would shine my eyes every night.
What if everyone were asexual?

pout :-(
What if I touch a jelly right….............there?

are you a nut?
What if we quit using narcotics.

You can. I think the rest of us are good.
What if calenders were changed to have five six-day weeks?

God would ascend from Hell and murder everyone for abolishing his personal arse kissing day..
What if Adam and Eva killed Jehovah, like the Klingons did to their gods?

The only way Adam and Eve could have done that is if they were God; which they were not.
What if we were still doing this until August, that would mean we all had mush minds or are spaceheads; who would want that?

Then there were nothing wrong. Fluther was still the way it is, everyone asked and answered normally. And this thread still lived.
What if someone started a #2 “What if” in the near future?

I think it will take a little while, but I am sure eventually there will be a two.
What if we were all mistaken about reality, and actually our dreams were our true lives?

Then no one would blame me for indulging in my imaginary world so much.
What if everyone were full of imagination?

Then the world would be much the same as it is now. I think most people are full of imagination. Some borrow it from religion or fiction.

What if you were charged with counting the stars?

I would tell them “Joke is on you, I already did that.”.
What if Adam and Eva killed Jehovah, like the Klingons did to their gods?

Then @ragingloli would de-rail the thread.

What if car manufacturers made it impossible to drive over the posted speed limit.

People would know what it’s like to drive my 240d.
What if there were no speed limits at all in rural sections on the freeway?

Then all the Fast and Furious movies would be true.
What if speed limits applied everywhere?

There is a universal speed limit. It is called the speed of light.
What if ancient aliens was correct?

Then @ragingloli would de-rail the thread.

What if Walmart tracked every customer move, much like the emerging sports game tracking now being used?

Government economics would be closer to working.
What if America finally adopted the metric system universally.

America would make more sense.
What if we shaved every sheep in the world?

We would suddenly have LOTS of busy spinning wheels!
What if we found out our whole purpose for existing is to discover the cure to illnesses for the benefit of the space travelers who brought human life here?

Then there would be new gods: Space Travelers!
What if all people in the Earth worshipped only one God?

It would be me.
What if you could fly?

I would visit a lot of placxes I thought I’d never get to. I’m fascinated with Madagascr.
What if cash were candy?

Not having cash would be bitter, and been rich would be sweet!
What if cows produced beer instead of milk?

Get a head from a teat? Hmmm, BRAAARP!!! “Scuse me.
What if North America wer heavily populated with monkeys?

It is.
What if the Roman Empire and the Roman Religion never fell?

(.. tie its tentacles together in a knot. Paintbhrush honey all over it. Take it to the desert, throw a net over it. Stake the corners down firmly. Have a bucket of chicken and a jug of ice water while waiting for the ants ant the buzzards to find it. Hah! Now there’s some dark humor.) :-P

It didn’t.

What if we had the chance to vote one life form from the planet? Fleas? Ticks? Mosquitoes? What would it be?

Humans.
What if sperm tasted like vanilla sauce?

I vote mosquitoes. I know they say flies are the most deadly creature on Earth, but they don’t send my daughter back in from picking flowers with huge angry red bites all over her. I will gladly teach the little brown bats to eat something else.

What if I just ignore completely answers posted which are too disgusting to be there?

There would finally be a market for human “milk”.
What if humans laid eggs?

I have a few million leftovers here just going to waste. You wannem?

What if poached were the only way eggs ever get served?

Basically just a boiled egg without a shell, so we could still chop them up in ‘stuff’, right? Or are you ruling out eggs in salads, too? Cake?

What if it were discovered that bacon is a deadly carcinogen?

Then it wouldn’t be the cigerettes what got me.
What if we were again faced with a generation of flower children?

Send them to Congress. Got to be better than what’s there now.
What if @ragingloli and @Jonesn4burgers shared a house.

Slap some duct tape over that raging hole, and tentacle sex until somebody dies!
What if…... shit, I’m coming up empty after the very thought of that.

What if politicians were required to keep their promises, or face civil charges?

They would bribe the courts, or install judges that do their bidding. Then change the law back.
What the native americans had slaughtered all the settlers that stepped foot on their continent?

I wouldn’t have a watered down ancestry. Fluther would have been started in Sweden. I’d be having some serious bison dinner now.

What if college degrees were a contractual obligation to hire according to grades?

Then I could never get a job.
What if everyone were unemployed?

The government is working on that, so never fear!

What if all of the windows suddenly broke?

Cardboard the most important, then turn the AC off and move to a cooler place.

What if you were standing on the sidewalk in town, the heavens suddenly opened, and you see Mae West descend on a swing?

I would have a billion hits on you tube!
What if Godzilla were real?

He isn’t?!??! Then what the hell did I chain up in my back yard?
What if cars were outlawed tomorrow, worldwide? (Not the band)

There would be lesser fat people in this world.
What if we grew younger instead of older?

I would be crawling to get across the room, I would be drooling on myself, I would cry a lot, I would need help getting dressed, wait, that stuff is now. :-(
I guess little would change for me.

What if nothing changed, always the same weather, populations of most living things mainly unchanged, no cost fluctuations, etc.?

Capitalists would commit mass suicide.
What if you could just go into the woods, kill an animal, and gold and armour popped out of it?

The woods would empty and the price of scrap metal and gold would plummet.

What if Passenger Pigeons were still alive in large enough numbers that they could blacken the sun, mid-day?

Everyone would be covered in bird shit.
What if the large dinosaurs never went extinct, and instead evolved into Voth?

Then there would be no human.

What if time went backward, like from the 21st century to the 19th century?

We’d reverse almost all the pollution. If we knew then what we know now, humans wouldn’t be headed to extinction.

What if the sky suddenly cleared, and you could see angels floating on clouds?

I would go ahead and use drugs, because I’m already hallucinating anyway.
What if we just all got along?

We aren’t supposed to.

What if, after 25 years of marriage, you found that your spouse had another spouse and family in Canada.

INSTANT DIVORCE!
What if @MollyMcGuire‘s story really happened somewhere on Earth?

Well, of course her story has happened; I’ve seen a couple of movies about that kind of thing. In fact, if he married his other wife first, he and I (here in the states) would never have been married in the first place. A married person can’t marry and if they do, the marriage is void, not voidable.

What if all paper was white and not available at all in any other color?

Pinterest would be flooded with tips on coloring your own paper, and people would start writing letters again, just to show off their paper tinting prowess.

What if the only color you could see was blue. Everything in shades of blue?

Then blue would be my favorite color. Like I have a choice~.

What if everyone but you was intensely psychic, and the whole world just agreed not to tell the one defunct?

Then I would be oblivious. I can live with that, but you know the whole world can’t even agree on “live and let live”.

What if it was discovered that the final remaining source of air pollution was your breath?

Then 54% of people would call for my death. 25% would be undecided. 10%, backed by scientific research, would correctly insist that the pollution expelled from a single mouth is of no significant harm/concern to the environment. Another 10%, also backed by scientific research, would present figures showing all the unique species my pollution wipes out each day. 0.25% would agree with all views. 0.749% wouldn’t agree with any views, but also wouldn’t present any of their own. And 1 guy would start a kickstarter to find me a cure.

What if humans could photosynthesize?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! That was excellent! Everyone MUST lurve ^^ that.
Humans. Green. Think. Oh, the world’s herbivores would graze contentedly, not being slaughtered by the humans. Bison would be plentiful, and roam the streets of Kansas City at their leisure. John Wayne would have had a very different carreer. I would be sitting in the yard everyday, getting fat on the sun’s rays. Geez. Would we have to worry about cows and bison eating US??!?!! Yikes!
What if we had to fear being eaten by cows and bison, and nibbled by unrelenting bunnies?

We would evolve thorns, or start tasting icky.
What would sex be like if the above occurred?

Well, with thorns, and tasting icky, I think only the daring and desperate would procreate. Then we would have a bunch of Scottish chaps with tentacles populating the planet.
What if the world’s leaders threw up their hands and said, “Fine, all drugs are legal.”

After about a week (month at the most) they would re-regulate all opiates and other chronically debilitation addictive drugs, all antibiotics, and most other pharmaceuticals currently available by prescription. People would start dying almost immediately from OD and from lack of prescription drugs as insurance was overwhelmed and the pharm companies withdrew products in alarm.

What if all forms of exposure were decent?

All bars instantly turn into a girl’s dating website inbox (aka – mostly unwarranted dick pics). Already desperately revealing club dresses are reduced to jewelry only. Then… a few people have sex in public, because… of course! And suddenly it’s all outlawed again.

What if I’m actually your next door neighbor?

Is this still during the sexual freedom era? Watch how close you stand to that BBQ grill naked!
What if communites returned to cooking togrther outdoors as a general practice, as was done by the pilgrims?

Then they would quickly run out of witches to burn.
What if the “founding fathers” lost and were executed for their treason?

Lost what, to whom? Ben Franklin, was a founding father and was a statesman and scientist, not a soldier. He was also the first American ambassador to France.

The witch trials occurred from 1693–93, the Pilgrims arrives in Plymouth in 1620. The only commonality is the state of Massachusetts.

TJBM likes spearmint gum the best.

Juicy Fruit. I appreciate your indignant preservation of our country’s history so much I will save the way you miscombobulated your own thread. giggle.
What if all buildigs with more than ten stories had to put the extra floors underground?

Thanks

There would have to be a lot more buildings eating up a lot more of the Earth, and if a retro-fit was required, New York, New York would probably become a resort.

What if computers could analyze a person’s voice and synthesize it so correctly that the families of dead singers could copy-wright it and continue to make new releases forever?

Then rip-offs and copyright infringement would dominate the music world.
What if people finally found out that all those space travel journeys in the past were fake and human was destined to be unable to live in space, trying hard as they might?

We were brought here by space travel. It’s in our DNA. If we didn’t get it right so far, we will.
What if stem cell research were not only legal, but amped up?

It would be one of the greatest things in history.
What if Boehner was making chocolate instead of politics.

He would be crying in jail for making poisonous chocolate.
What if Obama really was a Muslime?

Then the Middle East would be grateful.
What if today was the end of the world?

Yeah. So?

I think @ibstubro forgot something.

What if we all did that?

Then we couldn’t play this game.
What if we forgot that we forgot something?

I’ve done that. Uuuuummmmmmm, I forgot whatever it was I forgot
What if our ancestors had been interested in developing agriculturally, and mechanically, but not technologically?

Lack of technologies that allow for meaningful communication world-wide, including transportation and this forum right here, would segregate populations, forcing (or perhaps allowing) each to deepen into their own culture. Each society would develop almost entirely independent of the others.

What if sex didn’t feel good?

The origins of feeling would end, and the species that reproduce without sex would ascend.

What if a blight caused no more rice in Asia next year?

The price of rice would skyrocket, but the supply wouldn’t drop much, most of it is grown in the US.
What if a publicity film was made implying all ammunition made in the US was dipped in hog blood and lubed with lard?

PETA would ironically protest and a bunch of rednecks would die trying to make deep-fried bullets.

What if we all changed our avatar to a real picture of ourselves for a day?

Then my beautiful images for some jellies would be shattered.
What is the internet disappeared forever?

I would be really bored.
What if God was one of us?

…apparently he/she/it would show up 7 years ago, almost to the day, create a Fluther account, and leave 1 single, brief, ironically-uninformative response to a question regarding the meaning/value of human life; and then leave to never be heard from again.

What if 7/29/14 rolls around and God makes his second appearance on Fluther exactly 7 years after the first?
…yea… that’s right! Seven… Like in the bible… And that one movie… Duh duh duhhhhh~!!!

@Esedess
You’re dumb… June was last month you stupid idiot!

@Esedess
Can a Moderator please ban this guy ↑... He called me an idiot. I won’t stand for it.

There is some craziness above.

What if all of us jellies acted like that?

Then the only one who remained here would be the mods.
What if we jellies all had multiple personalities disorder?

We’d have a Sybil Service and police ourselves.

What if the only home building material was glass?

You would not want to throw stones.

What if left not right was the major “handedness” ? ?

Some things would not change. I’d be pleased to be your left hand man, however.

What if animals learned collective bargaining?

Then farmers would start murdering animal union leaders.
What if the Jewish Messiah (NOT Jesus or his second coming) were to emerge tomorrow?

Nazis would crap and fall back in it We would suffer the blight of shitty, moaning Nazis.
(@Esedess, I think I love you.)
What if it was determined that the crazy people are the real sane ones, and sane people are really the nuts?

Pistachios would rule.

What if there were no allergies?

Then it would be evidence for an active eugenics programme.
What if the South had won the so called “civil war” to end slavery?

We would probably have way fewer Mexicans crossing the border.
What if Prussia had not won its war with Prussia in 1866?

They would have a do over.

What if every elected official evaporated overnight tonight?

Kim Jong Un would drool all over himself deciding where to throw the lasso first.
What if Fluther’s best oil painter (who?) did a group portrait of all the jellies?

Then the result would look like this.
What if we were all cartoon characters?

HAHAHAHA(infinity). Nice, @Mimishu1995
I would be Lucy Van Pelt.
What if cartoon characters could walk amongst us?

What? Like I don’t already?

What if bottled water was declared illegal?

Bite your tongue! Would never happen! Cyclists everywher would march no ride, on the Capital.
What if that sweet college guy bought a ¾ carat ring, instead of a two?

Questionable finance.

What if the sweet college girl’s mom got a look at the sweet college guy’s bottom line?

I should hope she would tell her daughter to be more realistic, and to not expect so much from one who is doing all thyey can, but hasn’t yet started in lifde.
What if a huge chunk of meteor, VW bug size, landed smack in the middle of Texas?

Yet another Bush presidency. From box of rocks to smoldered boulder?

What if body fat came back into fashion?

I thought it had. Seriously, it’s creepy to consider body or body parts “fashion.”

TJBM refuses to use IE.

indeed.
tjbm loves furry porn

I’m ignorant about that, but I’ll just say false.

TJBM uses hair color.

I don’t.
What if I flip this back form TJBM to what if again?

Okay by me.

What if tomorrow traffic in the USA would have drive on the left? ?

Then I would have an accident on my first day to America.
What if suddenly every vehicles disappeared?

My anxiety would go with them.
What if everyone was a twin?

My sister would have an evil twin. Bwahahahahahahaha! We would call our dad, “Twin Pop”.Dating would include checking barcode tatoos. Jimmy Fallon would have just the right doulble to play the part of politicians, always. Everybody has a donor when they need a kidney, or marrow. A favorite pasttime would be tying string between binkies and watching the tug of war.
What if there was a reality show, “Sexy Archeologists”?

It would be a double feature with “Homely Barkeeps”.

What if reality TV was rated instantaneously? Viewer handheld devices?

Then more TV shows would be either overrated or underrated.
Seriously. Think about troll voters and those who don’t watch the shows thoroughly.

What if everything was objective?

@Mimishu1995 I’d tape down the bad button and put it in a cabinet.

There would be no more what if.

What if there was no more pesticide to use on crops?

Vegetarians would have to accept a bit more protein in their diet.
What if naps were required for everybody at the same time every day?

Then some of us would be nocturnal beings.
What if all of us turned into the animals with the similar personalities to us?

Then I’d be a human.
What if there was a subject in school for the mental equivalence of PE (let’s call it Cerebral Ergonomics CE)?

It would be called “christian apologetics”.
What if humans worshipped the supernova that seeded their solar system with heavier (above hydrogen and helium) elements?

It would be called “christian apologetics”. =p
What if someone made a book out of Fluther posts?

That would involve getting a lot of written permission’ Itwpuld probably be easier to convince millions of people to sign in to Fluther for free.

What if crosswalks were protected by spike strips which pop up when the lights change?

Ventilation ventilation ventilation!! :)
What if back-hair became fashionable?

I’m all set
What if there are naturist camps for the elderly.

On maps it would be referred to by “there be dragons”.
What if scientists got a 50 life extension for every discoverey they make.

Discoveries are not protected and there’s only one life.

What if monkey liver was determined to be the ultimate “super food”?

Endangered species would rapidly disappear, or become extremely expensive pets. A bunch of guys in Iowa would be walking into Purina asking for a truckload of monkey kibble.

What if @ragingloli‘s unusual DNA were discovered to contain coded cures for virtually every disease known to the human race?

Then… poor @ragingloli
What if we all lost our fear?

stupidity ensues.
What if @ragingloli was spotted near a playground during the day doing something stupid.

Sniper, I’m thinking. Clean shot to the head?

What if cars gave zero emissions?

The government would ban them because it would put vast numbers of EPA employees out of jobs.
What if aliens came to earth all dressed and acting like 50’s and 60’s television characters looking to fit in. But they are very sensitive about it?

I think they would be respected by most for making the diplomatic effort. Who would ridicule aliens who accomplished what we have yet to find feasible? It might be a bit comical, however, if they looked something like a T Rex, and dressed like Ricki Ricardo. giggle

What if teens did what they were told by their parents, always, without arguement, issue, or that dramatic eye roll?

Then I would never know about film noir and the Mafia, I would stop writing forever, and I would never be here.
What if every fairy tales were true?

I’d be kissing frogs by the bushel basketful!
What if IBS gave off zero emissions?

How could Inveterate Bull Shit not give off emissions? It would cease to exist!

What if you had to make do with an Easy Bake Oven as your only food source?

I believe portions of the Easy Bake Oven would be quite difficult to chew. I would go hungry tying.
(LOL, BS)
What if birdshit could be inexpensively used as fuel?

I believe it can be burned. The problem lies in getting the birds to used the Tweety Toilet next to the Bird Bath.

What if the world could sing, in perfect harmony?

I’d buy he world a Coke and keep it company.
What if cars were designed to last indefinitely?

Then @Jonesn4burgers would be driving a Studebaker.
What if @ibstubro was stuck in the middle of Iran and had to get to town in 2 hours with no car.

Jet fuel in my sweet Studebaker! @Jonesn4burgers to the rescue! Tah dah dah dahhhhh!!!!!
What if a weird old woman in a wheelchair were the newest superhero?

Then Charles Xavier either got a sex change, or found the new love of his life.
What if there was an X-men who was like Magneto, but with gravity?

I would have to ask someone who knows who Magneto and X-men are.

What if all of the subwoofers went silent?

Cub scout meetings would be eerily quiet.

What if only mimes could hold public office?

Then mine classes would become the most popular.
What if the Earth was really flat?

Then the Earth would be really flat.

What if people only answered questions that they understood?

Then @ibstubro would be forever silent.
What if all priests on Earth and beyond were killed by lightning strikes at the same time?

Then @ragingloli would be pleased.
What if we could have anything we wanted?

Then only dull people would be left on Earth, the imaginative having died of overindulgence or unintended consequence.

What if humans could only eat one food per day? If you got up and had toast for breakfast, toast is all your body would accept for the rest of the day.

People would skip breakfast and eat dinner twice.
What if Justin Bieber became a gay porn star instead of a fake musician?

Who’s Justin Bieber?

What if people only answered questions they understood?

Then @ibstubro would be forever silent.
What if Justin Bieber became a gay porn star instead of a fake musician?

Who’s Justin Bieber?

What if people only answered questions they understood?

Then @ibstubro would be forever silent, forever.
What if Justin Bieber became a gay porn star instead of a fake musician?

The the world would have another gay porn star.

What if people only answered questions they understood?

Huh? What do you mean? I guess this thread would be a lot shorter, and Bieber would be even more gay.
What if coffee had never been invented?

Then we would all be drinking tea instead.
What if superstition had never been invented?

Superstition wasn’t invented, it evolved, and without it, imagination and invention would have been stunted or even crippled.
What if Shrieking, tentacled aliens were gay porn stars instead of government bashing, gun toting kitten eaters? ;-P
:D . XD :) :-D

Then the world would be a better place.
What if porn stars became the most valuable people in the world?

The “Next Generation” of AIDS would become rampant, threatening human existence.

What if a teaspoon of ice cream in you ear caused you to orgasm?

Some of us here would have very sticky necks and collars.
What if men could fake orgasms too.

Wouldn’t make any difference in my life. The only time I’ve heard, “It’s never happened to me before”, was on tv. Syncronicity!
What if carpenters stopped using nails, and went with pegs, and interlocking joints instead?

Then everyone could be a carpenter.
What if human were all smart and capable at birth like other animals?

Then construction would be much, much slower, but buildings would last much longer. Perhaps stretching today’s building life from ‘decades’ back into yesterday’s ‘centuries’.

Smart and capable at birth like mice? Kangaroos? Kittens?

What if it started snowing one summer day, and it turned out to be popcorn rather than snow?

Then it’d be about as weird as if it started snowing.. I live in San Diego.
What if the universe was just a perpetual motion engine?

I’m not sure we know enough to confirm or deny that. In the grand scheme of things, humans are but a virus—depending upon a cell to replicate.

What if a live Yeti was found?

Then I didn’t hide so well as I thought.
What if you came home one day to find me seated at your table, eating something yummy I found in your kitchen?

Then you and I would have a great day together.
What if people suddenly discovered a chocolate land?

I’m there, baby.

What if we could find a way to have dust-free homes with no effort whatsoever?

Do you have to ask? Of COURSE everybody will want one, and the cost would be sky high.
What if you were going about your normal activities (away from home) and your clothes suddenly,disintegrated?

I would just die I think. I’m quite modest and you have hit upon my worse reoccurring childhood dream. Thanks…..........I’ll probably have that damn dream tonight.

This was a childhood friend’s dream….What if when you pass gas it not only smells awful but come out in a white cloud?

Then you could smell every minute when a new pope is elected.
What if a human’s average power level was over 9000?

9000 what? Horsepower?
Molly, then we could see who to be mad at
What if the white cloud turned green when it is boiled egg gas?

Then I could mistake clouds for leaves.
What if the clouds @MollyMcGuire was talking about were actually souls?

Then everyone would hold in their farts for fear of losing their soul.
What if more kids were raised watching anime instead of cartoons?

Then more kids would grow up to be well adjusted adults instead of mass murdering psychopaths.
What if the transnational criminal organisation called the “catholic church” was dismantled tomorrow, and all its functionaries executed?

Then this.
But shouldn’t we at least finish off the Jews for Hitler too while we’re at it?

What if the use of colors, deemed too manipulative and inherently deceptive, were banned from use in commercial marketing?

Things would still be Magically Delicious. More imagination is a good thing.

What if Ebola were to establish itself in the inner-city USA?

People who try to leave the cities, but the small towns will not want them.

What if there was no more blue?

Our perception of everything would change, as blue is a primary color. Everything would have to be colored in variations on the colors yellow, red and orange.

What if humans just recycled and reused their water?

Then the worldwide water would be saved.
What if ghosts were real?

.
.
.

They’re just really good at Hide and Seek.
What if we could breath in space?

Humans would rape, pillage and pollute ”the final frontier”.
Alternately, we would establish communities within the gravitational pull of the Earth for the edification of the very rich and famous.
Or we could establish penal colonies in near space.
This would make an awesome “Question”! GO FOR IT! Ask, “What if humans could live in outer space without artificial help?”

What if Nevada discovered the alchemy to turn sand into water?

Then people would be torn between using sand for water and using sand for glass.
What if someone asked @ibstubro‘s question?

@Mimishu1995 Wow~ Way to fuckin kill it :p

What if Fluther threads never died, and even 4 years later, a slightly drunk handsome jelly with lots of moxie and no shame could come along and revive long forgotten questions?

It seems to be that…it would be mostly ignored.
What if no one had elbows?

Then you would all be like me.

Straight arms

What if you could put your elbow in your ear !

;>)

You could, if your arms were long enough.

Whatifnooneeverinventedthespacebar?