Paging through your photo albums, do you find yourself smiling more, tearing up, nodding your head in disbelief over how fast time went?

Oh, yes. Yes.

I had about 20 rolls of 35 mm film, going back to 1995 that I just finished developing last year. I’d take 1–3 in every payday. THAT was a trip.

I smile, sometimes wistfully, but often with good cheer.

Someone is always peeling onions near me when I view photos of my kids.

These days they make me sad since my mother passed away six months ago. The pictures remind me of how much I miss her and the fact that she won’t be here to see her granddaughter grow up.

I am normally not super sentimental, accept the past and passage of time, but lately yes, not many smiles.
I am very depressed right now from this past 15 months of intense stress and changes and I am having a hard time looking at, remembering the past right now. I received 2 videos from my gooses new mom yesterday and they made me cry.
15 years of having him in my life and it is still so surreal that he is gone now as is my old life, never to return.

This past few weeks have been extremely difficult for me and for the 1st time in my life I feel near giving up.

Looking at old photos, I’m not only amazed (and yes, sometimes saddened) by how much time has passed so quickly, I also find it interesting to see how young I looked during periods in my life when I thought I looked old.

@jonsblond, mine passed away four months ago and not a day goes by I don’t wish I could phone her to say hello. But every photo conjures up a happy memory.

@Coloma noooo! Don’t give up yet! You have been through deeper ”$hit” and you came out on the other side!

@Pachy and @jonsblond your mothers ARE right there, with you, within you, in your thoughts, dreams, decisions, everywhere. I am certain you can even “hear” them advising you, warning you and guiding you. They will be there until you also leave this dimension.

@ZEPHYRA Haha..well actually no, this is the deepest pile of shit to date, far beyond wading, almost drowning in shit right now. lol

I wish I could be there @Coloma. I wish I was a zillioinaire. :(

@Dutchess_III Me too!

I’m going through the buffet now, for a long-needed clean out. It’s where I kept my kid’s more interesting school work. Came across some story Chris wrote when he was in 4th grade (just guessing) about being a cow on an old time cow trail from Missouri to California. So many misspellings! So funny! And he talked about Kansas, said all there was to eat was dead grass and no water!

Depends, when I see photos of my kids from babies to now, I burst with pride.
However, when I see myself with past hairstyles & fashions, a little bit of sick comes up :D

Wow. Just found an essay Chris wrote in HS, called My New Bike. He was 9 years old and he was saving and saving and saving for a new bike, a beautiful Mongoose. It was $110. He had gotten to $70 when he spied a hunting grade sling shot he wanted. He asked if he could buy it. I said, “No! You have to be 18!” Besides…that kind of sling shot in Chris’ hands? Oh hail no!
Well, he went behind my back and Gramma got it for him.
He and a friend promptly climbed a tree and accidentally shot out a guy’s back car window. The bill was $200. They boys had to split it. Chris had to forfeit his bike money, and then had to pay me the other $30, which I put up for him.
His friend’s parents paid for their kid.
It was a really good essay. Brought back some pain because I flat couldn’t afford it, but it also made a big impression about taking responsibility for your self, and paying the consequences.

All of those things, I’m sure.

Mostly smiling.

Mostly wistful. Sometimes proud and happy. Other times disbelieving. Depends on the pictures. Most of them were good memories. Most of them have people I have lost contact with and it makes me wonder… I was really happy once. I mean its harder for me to find that place in me that used to exist.

I am glad I’m different though. It would sad to be the same person who hasn’t grown. I wish I was much more carefree though.

Smiling/laughing mainly, especially photos of me and my friends when we were younger, though sometimes they do make me feel a nostalgic longing, but it’s not a negative thing.

Going through my buffet, where I keep all the written memories, is causing all of those feelings. As I’ve said before, about 3 of Chris’ motherless friends lived with me when they were 15–16. I came across a piece of yellow legal paper. One of the boys, Javier, had written:

“dont be mad at Chris and Mexican
“Please don’t kill us mom.
We love you.
Sorry
We Love you
dont be mad please”

In red ink I responded “Dear Javier & Chris-OF COURSE I’M MAD!!! But you ain’t dead, are you???
Love you too.
Mom.”

Have no idea what they did. Long ago, and oh so far away.