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AnonymousWoman's avatar

Do you ever feel burnt out in relationships?

Asked by AnonymousWoman (6531points) July 7th, 2014

I feel very burnt out in my relationship right now. It makes me feel mixed feelings because I do want to be with my boyfriend, but at the same time, having a relationship feels too stressful to me at the moment. Does that make me a bad person?

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6 Answers

ZEPHYRA's avatar

No it would be wrong to stay on feeling like that. It is normal as you may possibly have other things on your mind right now that don’t allow your relationship to be first priority. Life is about developing and there are times when what felt right might later feel wrong. What you DO have to do though, is speak openly and directly to your boyfriend about your feelings so he knows where he stands.

Unbroken's avatar

Not a bad person at all. People do burn out in many things. If you try to make yourself give something that you aren’t capable of at the moment. Forcing yourself is doing both parties a disservice. But then again relationships take work if you are both willing you could try to revive things. It depends on how deeply those feelings go.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

@Unbroken has covered your question very well. I agree with @ZEPHYRA that you should discuss your feelings with your boyfriend. It could be you both need a break, or perhaps you both would like to throw some spice into things.
You can’t be considered bad for feeling as you do. Great changes have come about throughout history from people feeling things are unacceptable in their current state.

JLeslie's avatar

I don’t think I would describe what I have gone through in relationships as burnt out, but that might just be a language usage thing. Can you just get some more me time or alone time for a little bit and recharge yourself? Plan a trip or focus on a hobby? Do you live with your boyfriend? Why is it stressful? If he very demanding?

Kardamom's avatar

Can you describe more about what you mean when you say burnt out?

Is there some kind of small problem that you let go on, and now that you’ve been together awhile, that problem seems much bigger or more irritating to you now? Sometimes when we are younger, especially for females, a cute little habit in their boyfriend when they first got together, can seem like an enormous pain in the neck when we get older and have dealt with it for years and years and years.

Has the balance of power shifted? If so, in what ways?

Has either of you become more demanding (in positive and negative ways)? Sometimes when people have been together for awhile, they change in positive and negative ways and usually one person wants the other person to change or step up to the plate in ways that were not expected earlier on in the relationship.

Has one of you changed in a way that makes parts of your relationship seem incompatible now? For example, if one person gets a college degree and the other one does not, the one with the education may see things in a very different way than they did before, or the person who did not get furthering education may feel resentful or less than smart, and that would make for an unpleasant, uneven relationship.

Has either one of you gone through a traumatic experience? Sometimes the one with the traumatic experience expects empathy and assistance from the other person, but doesn’t get it, at least not in the way that they need it. On the other hand, if your partner is the one that has had the traumatic experience, you may not be in a position to help, or even know how to help?

Have you fallen out of love with your boyfriend? Sometimes, for whatever reason, people fall out of love and that love is replaced by a more brother/sister type of relationship.

Let us know what you mean by burnt out, if you can, and we’ll try to give you some more advice. An no, you’re not a bad person, you’re just a little bit confused right now.

Dutchess_III's avatar

As long as you aren’t married, it might be a good reason to leave.
If you’re married, though, times of “burn out” are part of the marriage. They usually pass.

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