General Question

Eggie's avatar

Have you ever been bullied at school?

Asked by Eggie (5591points) July 28th, 2014

I have been bullied and today it negatively affects some areas within my life. In certain situations because of this I have self doubts about myself when coming to standing up for myself. Have you experienced being bullied at school? How did you deal with it? Does it still affect you today? Have you been a bully to others?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

17 Answers

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Way back in middle school. It caused a couple fist fights. It stopped once I stood up for myself and bloodied someones nose. I became friends with said person after that.

hominid's avatar

When I was young (up until high school), I was the “fat kid”. In fact, my nickname through much of my school years was “fat [my last name]”.

I did a lot of fighting back then. Tons. And possibly because of my bullying, I would stick up for others who were bullied and picked on – often getting into fights on their behalf.

I’m not sure how it affects me today. Can we really draw straight lines from past experiences and current attitudes, etc? I can make wild guesses that my severe introversion might have been allowed to flourish in those early years. So maybe I’m such an introvert because of this. Who knows. And maybe my distrust of the mainstream has something to do with my past.

And no – I have never bullied others.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Just once in jr high. I stood my ground & they backed off. Now I stand up for anyone mistreated with no fear.

ucme's avatar

No, would never allow myself to be bullied & couldn’t comprehend being the bully.

livelaughlove21's avatar

Maybe, but I never called it bullying and still don’t. Aside from the occasional mean comment that many kids get, one situation really sticks out in my mind. I may have already told this story on here before, but I will again.

My high school best friend and I had a rocky relationship – fight, make up, fight, make up, etc. I met my husband the summer before senior year and he was very aware of the constant drama in my friendship with this girl. Well, senior prom rolls around and we go with a large group. She ends up getting stood up and was the only one in the group without a date. When everyone went off with their dates, my husband and I hung out with her so she wasn’t sitting alone somewhere. We separated from her one time to dance to a couple of songs while she danced with some guy and then we left shortly thereafter, as we had not planned to go to after prom with the rest of the group. I found out an hour or so later that she was mad at me, but I couldn’t figure out why. First she said that we were pitying her, then she said that she got mad because my husband and I were “all over each other” and completely ignored her – which is not even kind of true. I ended up coming down with mono and missed a whole week of school after that. By the time I got back to school, I had no friends; she had turned all of them, and the rest of our classmates, against me with her lies. I’m still not sure what all she told them, but I do know that I ended up spending my lunch period in the library because I had no one to sit with in the cafeteria. I sat alone in class as well. The last few weeks of my senior year were absolute hell thanks to her. I suppose that was a type of bullying, though she never taunted me or made fun of me to my face.

I’m actually still friends with this girl; how stupid is that? We reconnected and put high school behind us while we were both freshman in college and we’re now 24. We’re not nearly as close as we once were, but we do keep in touch and occasionally hang out. It still affects me in that I do not have close female friends and don’t have much of a desire to change that.

Have I been a bully? Yes, in elementary school. I was the “popular girl” that everyone wanted to be friends with and I acted as you’d expect that girl to act – singling out certain girls and treating them like crap because I thought it was all about me. I ended up switching schools in the 4th grade and became an outcast, my entire personality changed, and I was never even close to popular in school again. I also packed on some pounds thanks to eating my emotions. I guess I got what was coming to me for being a little shit in my early years.

EmJay1070's avatar

Bullying was a daily occurence for me when I was in secondary school. For a start, I was small for my age and had health problems – lots of chest and ear infections. I had otitis media with effusion and was hearing impaired. Also, I wore glasses. In addition, socially I wasn’t very well integrated due to my upbringing. This in part meant that I wasn’t taught a daily cleanliness routine and often went to school dirty.
As a result of all of the above, bullying was a daily occurence. It was mostly name calling. Also, had snowballs or eggs thrown at me. On one occassion I was held in the cloakroom by a group of 7 boys who beat me about the head. Was threatened with drowning and dragged to the edge of a huge muddy puddle in the school playing fields. My arms and legs were grabbed – I was swung out over the puddle… fortunately the teachers arrived in time and my tormentors (including all the pupils who had followed us to the field) dispersed.
I left school as soon as I could, but it was several years before I was able to figure out why it happened, and do something about it. This meant I had to overcome certain aspects of my upbringing.
Despite this, when in my twenties, some local kids where I stayed kept attacking me. I’d been to the police several times, but nothing was done because the locals wouldn’t speak out. (Scared they’d become the next victim, no doubt). Eventually I got fed up, and took action myself. Two of my teenage attackers got sprayed in the face with an aerosol of deodorant I had in my pocket. It worked – they never bothered me again. However, a couple of weeks after this, I returned home from a night shift at the factory where I worked, to find my home had been broken into. The teenagers who got sprayed had grassed me in to the older criminals in the neighbourhood. Fortunately, shortly after this, I moved away from the area.
All of this has left it’s mark on me. I no longer get bullied, however I’m extremely alert and cautious when outside. And any strange noises at home, I get up to investigate. If I have to go out after dark, I sometimes still take an aerosol of deodorant or similar – just in case.

snowberry's avatar

Yes, I was bullied for 4 years in public school. Then I changed schools and wasn’t bullied anymore. Once in a while after that I gained friends and popularity, but those times were short lived and rare. Mostly I hung out alone.

I’ve never understood people who’ve had fond memories of school.

talljasperman's avatar

Yes .. then I became 6’5” and most of the psychical abuse stopped, then people switched to emotional and psychological abuse.

Pachy's avatar

I was, occasionally, in elementary and junior high. But compared to the kind of vicious bullying I read about today, mine was pretty tame (teasing, shin-kicking, and one fight which ended quickly with this result: bully-1, pachy – 0. )

I don’t think there were any lasting scars other than a lifetime aversion to people who make themselves feel superior by oppressing those who are weaker.

JLeslie's avatar

No, I wasn’t bullied. I can remember an instance when I was very little when I was teased because some boys got a flash of my underwear. It was for a fleeting moment.

As far as bullying others, I once when very very young, maybe around age 5, went along with some older girls who were being mean to a younger neighborhood girl. My mom saw it happening and quickly stopped it and helped walk the little girl (who was visibly upset) back to her apartment and then gave me a little lecture as she and I walked back to our apartment. I felt terrible. I never did anything like that ever again. It wasn’t really in me to instigate such a thing to begin with, but going along was just as bad.

Mariah's avatar

I had some very hurtful pranks pulled on me late in elementary school. The worst of which was probably when a girl who I’d hardly crossed paths with sent me messages online pretending to be a boy asking me out. After that it was pretty easy to get it into my head that apparently the idea of a boy having interest in me was incredibly laughable. I was a late bloomer and, I guess, an easy target.

trailsillustrated's avatar

I was constantly bullied, on a daily basis, at school and at home. I beat them up. It made me strong and unafraid. ( I had plastic surgery on the facial feature that caused the bullying). I still remember it and have a soft spot for all underdogs.

Cruiser's avatar

I was taunted a bit in grade school and bullied once and after the principal pulled me off his sorry ass never again. I am very sensitive to aggressive bullying and both my sons were bullied worse than me. Kids need to learn how to sort out these things on their own but for whatever reason…bullying today is way more intense and vicious than the bullying I remembered. Social media taunting brings a whole other layer to this senseless behavior.

cookieman's avatar

Pretty regularly from first grade through eighth grade. I handled it poorly for years by bottling it all up inside until I exploded and made a fool of myself – which just caused more bullying. Then the cycle would repeat.

Finally, in eighth grade, I met some new kids from an adjacent town who liked me for who I was and really helped boost my confidence.

When I started high school, I saw one of my longtime bullies getting bullied by the seniors. This was a revelation to me, as I now understood the cyclical nature of it.

Soon after, some other kid tried picking a fight with me in a crowded stairwell. He poked at me with a pencil and was taunting, name calling. Instead of keeping it in and taking it, I kept calm, snatched the pencil from him, and tossed him down the stairs. Word got around fast, and no one ever picked on me again.

UnholyThirst's avatar

I’ll share just one instance. In 6th grade, I was being picked on by another girl for my accent. I jumped from my desk and as hard as I could, I slammed her head into the wall beside where she was standing. She fell to the ground. No movement.

extremely_introverted's avatar

Yes by my own Finance professor way back in college. He humiliated me in front of the class. He accused me, shouted angrily at me that I chose a certain sit so that I could sit next to a handsome guy. I cannot believe how unprofessional he is. I cannot believe that it even happened. He gave me an F at the end of the semester. Sometimes I think I have annoying aura or something for some people to pick on me even if I don’t do anything bad to them. I am slow to anger but the other side of my personality is that I have a very sharp mouth, I can be very offensive when a person is already getting on my nerves.

Eggie's avatar

damn your fine…..

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther