Social Question

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

If you saw a couple such as this in your town, or someplace you visited, where the woman was tethered, what would your reaction be, and should they be barred from frequenting any shop, diner etc.?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26783points) August 19th, 2014

You are shopping at the mall, or dining out in another city, maybe in a lobby at a hotel you are staying in while on vacation and you see a couple like this, a guy with a leash and collar walking his girlfriend who remains two steps behind him at all times, what would your reaction be? Would you say something to either of them, complain to management, just ignore them? Do you think a couple who conducts themselves that way should be barred from frequenting any place, such as the movies, restaurants, amusement parks, etc.?

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14 Answers

syz's avatar

Banned? No. If they’re willing to tolerate the looks, the comments, and the judgment, then it’s up to them.

I am distressed and angered by various religious indoctrination rules under which women are required to have long hair, wear long dresses, cover their bodies, walk behind the men of the family – whatever – but no one’s trying to ban them.

One hopes that the BDSM lifestyle was entered into voluntarily and with full disclosure, but women and children raised in strict religions in which they are (at best) second class citizens often don’t have the opportunity know any better.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

They just out for a reaction from people. Or, dysfunctional.

trailsillustrated's avatar

Its their conditions of relationship, and while weird, it’s not uncommon and in some places not uncommon to see this. It’s just another colour of relationships and I wouldn’t bat an eye.

Buttonstc's avatar

I would assume two things: walking a few steps behind is one thing; doing it with a collar and leash in ordinary public places (outside of the types of clubs where this is generally considered norm for this venue); therefore there is an exhibitionist component as well as the BDSM dynamic.

I would also assume that they are very inexperienced and new to this lifestyle.

I know a few experienced people involved in this and the basic motto for the lifestyle as a whole is: safe, sane, and consensual.

People with maturity in the BDSM scene are very very discreet and they wholeheartedly adhere to the three principles just cited.

They definitely don’t go parading it before the general public in ordinary everyday places. Why, you ask? Because while this is obviously consensual between the two of them, the rest of the public has not consented to be the voyeurs so this couple can get off on their exhibitionism.

That amounts to involving everyone who sees them without their consent.

If they’re doing this at a club or an event where this is de rigeuer, then everyone going to that club knows the score and has given their “consent” simply by their attendance.

But nobody in the general public present at the mall or hotel lobby was expecting to be yanked into this couple’s BDSM dynamic.

Involving others in your “scene” without their consent is just considered bad manners. Find another way to get your jollies.

Suppose there were parents with children staring open mouthed?

People who are into these kinky type activities are marginalized enough by a society which has no understanding of why people choose this. Why give them more ammunition?

So, no I don’t think they should be banned but I definitely feel that they could use an iota of common sense and discretionand keep their private sex life private. These folks are a half step away from the flasher who gets his kicks through exhibitionism. These folks are also exhibitionists and I don’t blame people looking at them for being judgemental. No one wants to be going along doing their shopping at the mall and being accosted by these dimwit.

livelaughlove21's avatar

I much prefer seeing men on leashes, but that’s just me. Also, this – minus the PETA message. Yowza.

I’m not sure I’d even notice the leash – I don’t pay that much attention to people. If I did notice, I’d probably discreetly point them out to my husband to see his shocked expression, laugh at him, then continue with our day as we normally would. No dirty looks and no comments made to them. Of course they shouldn’t be banned from being in public like that. I’d just be sort of disappointed that the first person I saw on a leash in real life looked like goth high schooler – kind of ruins the fantasy.

Buttonstc's avatar

They most likely are goth high schoolers (or not that much older) ha ha.

They might also just be

They are definitely immature.

KNOWITALL's avatar

IN my town someone would call the cops for sure. In a city or country, no big deal.

ucme's avatar

I just hope he took a bag in case she had a shit.

elbanditoroso's avatar

The look kind of silly, but if she’s not pulling away (and the photo shows her being agreeable) then so what?

That sort of control is not MY preference, but who am I to comment on someone else’s proclivities?

I would say that this is far more acceptable to me than women being forced to wear Burqas that cover all but their eyes. That is being a prisoner of a different sort.

Buttonstc's avatar


Do you really think the cops would come out for that? I mean, what on earth could
they charge them with?

They’re totally dressed so there’s no public nudity involved and they aren’t really doing anything violent (regardless of how they look); they’re just walking down the street.

Granted, I think they’re using poor judgement but that’s not exactly a crime they can issue tickets for.

For all we know, it might even be Halloween ( for which they’d be appropriately dressed :)

I honestly can’t imagine what the cops would say to them. If they are still I’m HS, they could be sent home and told to change due to dress codes. But I can’t imagine the cops have the authority to do that :D

Fortunately, this is still the USA and not Afghanistan.

lillycoyote's avatar

Consenting adults and all that. Some people are into that kind of thing; really not much different than holding hands, sort of. And no, they shouldn’t be barred from anywhere.

JLeslie's avatar

The photo you link would not cause me to do anything. Their whole mode of dressing is like a costume, and I would not even think the woman is actually tethered all the time psychologically or physically. When I see a woman covered in a burqa and her husband behaves in a domineering way and in her eyes I see how she is not free it bothers me a lot. I have seen it more than once. I am in favor if not being allowed to completely cover your face, but there is exceptions which make writing the law tricky. A ski mask in the dead of winter in Minnesota might be perfectly reasonable. Maybe it should be illegal inside “public” stores and shops. But, I see how that could backfire with those women even more restricted.

I don’t mean to go on a tangent but to me women who are covered head to toe are tethered.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

I sure hope he keeps her away from the fire hydrants!

dxs's avatar

No, I’d rather bar judgmental people from shops, “dinners”, etc.

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