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My lesbian girlfriend vs. my family?

Asked by newyorkgirl12 (129points) August 23rd, 2014

Hi there. I need some advice from someone on the outside looking in. A little bit of back ground. I am in my early 40’s and dating my first girlfriend, the love of my life for 4 years now. We share a beautiful life together and a beautiful home and are very happy and in love. Our only problem in our relationship is my family.

I came out right away to my family and although it was hard for my parents at first, after a few months they came around. My four siblings claimed to be ok with it as well.

My family seemed to be accepting at first but over time they showed signs of disrespect towards our relationship. They have been rude to my partner on several occasions and don’t find anything wrong with this. My siblings have shushed my girlfriend while she was midsentence, they have shot rubber bands at her head and then denied it. They have posted hurtful gay cartoons on Facebook and feel I shouldn’t be insulted because it is only a joke. We walk in the room and they don’t talk to us, we can cut the tension with a knife.

My parents and my siblings think we are making a big deal out of nothing and we should get over it. They want us at family functions, they just don’t want us to talk or stand up for ourselves. While my parents don’t necessarily take part in the problems, the fact that they think I should just get over it is hurtful.

My main concern is this, my girlfriend thinks I should give up my family and never see or speak to them again. I feel that that is a bit harsh and that she shouldn’t want that for me. I believe we should all sit down and discuss the issue. If they still do not understand that they are hurting us, then by all means we can go our separate ways but I feel that we should at least try.

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