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Can someone figure out what I should do with my life?

Asked by xgamer (18points) August 26th, 2014

I am a 27 year old guy who completed his BCA (Bachelor of Computer Applications) 2 years ago with 73% distinction. I really enjoy computers and computer programming but I am in bit of a confused state. Since I completed my BCA I have been working in something other than my field but I am not happy and really want to get into the IT field. My problem is it’s been years since I programmed and I am not really a good coder (but I really want to be one). Let me elaborate on that.
Problem 1:- I am not a confident person as a whole. I am always self-conscious of what people say or think about me which bothers me a lot. I can speak & read English just fine but when it comes to writing (on a paper) I am not very good with spellings & my handwriting is like a 2 year old( or worse). I do a lot of spelling mistakes and I always get scared if someone is looking over my shoulder when I write/type something because I don’t want to embarrass myself.

Problem 2:- I have studied C, C++, C#, PHP, Asp, HTML, JavaScript, CSS, XML, Oracle, MS Access, Sql Server, and Apache Server. But I am not really confident in any of these. I understand all the terms, methods, functions, what they are, how they work. I know how to create functions/methods, call functions, create variables, call functions etc… but I am really scared on how to code i.e. if I look at a basic tutorial on how to make a calculator app on c#, I understand everything they say in the tutorial ( what they did, how the program works etc. etc..) but when I code own my own I get stuck in a dead lock. I go blank on what is required to do next. What function/method do I need to write to make the program work or how to write it? I know only by practicing coding one can get good at it. But when I practice I see myself again and again looking for reference from Google or other sample programs and just implementing the same code in my programs. As another example: – the simple programs that I learnt in BCA like bubble sort, Fibonacci series etc… I can’t write them, I can’t think of the logic but when I read the program I can understand the logic without any issue. i pick up things very fast, for example :- if there is an application like SQL and someone explains me so and so about the application and what is need to be done in that I understand it very quickly and most of the time without any doubt. But I am really worried if I am a good programmer and if I search for a job in IT development, companies will hire me for who I am and my skills. I don’t know what position fits me in IT.

Problem 3:- because of my problems as mentioned in problem 1 & 2, I am afraid of even going in for an interview in IT. I am scared I will embarrass myself while filling in the form for the interview or while writing any kind of written test in an interview or failing to write some simple program asked in an interview. I don’t know what to do. I am really frustrated with myself. I don’t know how to get over this problem. I want to do something with my life. I want to be successful but don’t know how to get over my problems.
Any kind of suggestion is welcome, Thank you.

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