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M1952's avatar

My husband filed for divorce and in his petition put that he wants no timesharing can he change his mind in court?

Asked by M1952 (301points) August 30th, 2014 from iPhone

Sorry for all the divorce questions but it’s my first one! my husband filed for divorce 2 months ago and requested not to have timesharing with our unborn baby (due in December) in my response I agreed with him that I should be awarded sole parental responsibility and that he should not have timesharing (I’m not trying to keep him from his child but he was cruel enough to request it, so I’m not going to force him to be in the baby’s life) anyhow, will a judge try to convince him to change his mind or can he suddenly change his mind during the hearing? the baby isn’t due until December and our court date for divorce is at the end of October, this is in florida by the way, thanks!

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19 Answers

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Is he going to pay child support?
If so I think he can change his mind if he so chooses.

M1952's avatar

Yes he has to pay child support, in florida, unless there is someone, like, say I were married to someone else and they wanted to adopt the baby he could sign over ALL rights and not have to pay child support but at this point that’s not an option.

M1952's avatar

but would a judge try to convince him to change his mind or ask him why he doesn’t want timesharing do you think?

SQUEEKY2's avatar

The only thing that I could see a judge doing, is he/she might ask him to think about it but thats it.

M1952's avatar

Ok thank you (:

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

Filing for divorce is just the first step in the process of terminating a marriage. There’ll be many negotiations about property distributions, child custody and visitation rights, and financial support.

It would be very sad if your husband really wants nothing to do with his child and doesn’t change this decision. The baby shouldn’t grow up knowing that his/her father abandoned him/her before birth, never wanting any relationship.

I’m guessing that your husband believes, naively and stupidly, that he can avoid paying child support if he simply walks away from you and the baby. If I’m right, the man’s an idiot. He can’t unilaterally renounce his parental responsibilities. Even if he never meets the baby, he’ll need to pay financial support.

There are situations when the mother wants nothing to do with her ex-husband. She swaps no child support in return for the father relinquishing all parental rights; she can’t change her mind later and petition for child support, and he can’t come back and demand to be a part of the child’s life. But, this is an extreme solution for an untenable circumstance, not a choice for either party to make hastily.

zenvelo's avatar

While I agree with everyone that for the most part you’ll have sole custody and no interference from him, things can change.

He is the father, so be advised he can ask the court to change the order at anytime over the next 18 years. But the court may not grant it if he has not demonstrated an interest in the child.

When the child is born, he may wish to see the child, and he may become interested in being in the child’s life. Right now I know you think he is an asshole, yet the child has a right to know and bond with his father. As long as the child is safe around the father, that will be good for the child.

And, let’s say you become an unfit mother; if so, the Child and Family people may reach out to him to see about his taking custody, or he may go to court to get custody.

He will have to pay child support no matter how much he is disconnected from the child.

Inspired_2write's avatar

In my case my irresponsible ex husband wanted me to have sole custody of which I was happy to have. In the end Court Hearing he changed his tune ( to delay and complicate Court proceedings etc as it was his nature to do so).
He did it to look good in his parents eyes only. He even stated times ( every second weekend etc) as his parents wanted the kids to stay with them on these days and the ex husband “had no” responsibilities again. ( of which his parents unwittingly enabled).
In the end the visition requested soon dropped way to ex completely ignoring the kids.
He had only his own feelings on the matter that in the end he was only concerned with.
The judge noted that our marriage was of eleven yrs duration and that the oldest was 10 yrs of age..and had therefore a relationship with her father .
It was only for that reason ( the childs rights to her father and mother) that the Jude intervened on behalf of the children.
Consideration for the Childs rights come first before the parents views although that does come into question in the case of safety for the child too.
In the Courts eyes the childs safety and concerns come first and foremost in the decision .

M1952's avatar

My husbands family actually agrees with him, and they actually wanted me to put the baby up for adoption, so I don’t really see his mind being changed because of his family =| they’re also trying to convince him to take everything from me (the car I drive, cell phone, the rented house) and they feel he owes me nothing until the baby is born.

M1952's avatar

I was a stay at home mom, and though our marriage was less then a year long (due to him cheating and leaving us) I do feel he should at least want to help out a little but he won’t help me out at all.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

@M1952 Wow, you certainly married into a family of utter losers. It’s bad enough that your nasty, cheating husband wants to take all the marital property and abandon his own baby. It’s even worse that his family members want the same and even urged you to put their grandchild/niece/nephew up for adoption.

But, I these are the same people who made your husband the man who he is. It’s like what the old truism says about the apple not falling far from the tree.

M1952's avatar

@SadieMartinPaul I couldn’t agree more

Coloma's avatar

I can’t think of anything to add to the already great replies to your situation, other than I parrot what the others have said, and, be forewarned, given the clear, instability and irresponsibility of your soon to be ex, be prepared for anything. Often these types of guys want nothing to do with the kids when they are babies, and young children but it is not uncommon for them to take a sudden interest when the child/children are old enough to mirror THEIR interests and stroke their egos. Please get an attorney and make sure you are well informed.
He could come back numerous times over the next 18 years wanting to make changes.

Good luck and welcome to Fluther!

gailcalled's avatar

@M1952:Do you have any of your own family to provide you with emotional support and advice? No one can force you to sign any documents until you are ready; and if the documents do not have both you and your husband’s signature on them, they are invalid. You have some power here but that means you must have accurate information, which should be provided by YOUR attorney. If you cannot afford one, the court will find you one.

Here is the site for the Florida Legal Aid Society, which provides attornies for those who cannot afford to pay the fee.

M1952's avatar

Thank you so much @gailcalled I appreciate it !

snowberry's avatar

If you go with a court appointed attorney I hope they will also appoint someone to safeguard the interests of your child when it is born.

gailcalled's avatar

@M1952: What about your own family?

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