Social Question

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Does that fame, looks, or status of a man allow him to make comments to a woman that is generally considered, sexist, rude or vulgar without rebuke?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26821points) September 12th, 2014

Based off some of the comments in active threads (at the time of this posting) regarding to what is, or isn’t rude, a catcall, insult, etc. One Flutheronian said that a friend of his, in the opinion of the poster, was seen as a handsome man to more females than not, and he would speak women at the bar in graphic sexual terms that might be considered crude, rude, or sexist to the general population and was received well by quite a few women. That got me to thinking how many times I have observed the phenomenon. If a man made a comment such as ”Ooh wee! You need to bring those buns and that cheesecake over here so I can butter them up and have a snack”, or something like ”You can make a dead man cum, I would crawl through 500 ft. of broken glass just to kiss the crotch of your panties”, if he would get the same reaction if he were very handsome, insanely rich, almost ‘A’ lister or above famous, than he would get if he were some average-looking cabby-like dude? I have observed women who chased after and defended guys to the hilt even when they knew the guy cheated on them (or tried), pilfered money from them, wrecked or got their car towed (and they the woman paid all the money to get it back, then let him drive AGAIN), etc. because the guy was supposed to be ”hunky”, or fine. If a woman would allow a guy to do that with their possessions simply because he was good-looking, would a woman give a guy a pass on comments that might be crude, sexist, etc. because the man has some attribute that makes him more desirable in a general sense?

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17 Answers

Here2_4's avatar

Not this woman.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Why has Fluther turned into a forum to trash men?

Here2_4's avatar

I don’t think this question was about trashing men, as determining whether social status excuses bad behavior. Perhaps a similar question using women as the focus is in the making.

Buttonstc's avatar

Apparently certain members of Congress seem to think their position exempts them from censure for some really egregious comments.

Just ask Kirstin Gillibrand :)

Haleth's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central I get what you’re saying. Based on the premise you’ve given here (a handsome or famous man saying something like in your examples), holy hell no. Handsome and famous dudes can be totally fucking grody, and there are plenty I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole.

With the example in the other thread, it probably worked because it was so over the top, it was clear that he was joking. (If it’s the example I’m thinking of, the guy started conversations in bars like, “want to come back to my place and watch some midget porn? No? Well how bout some [other random kind of porn]?”)

It takes a lot of confidence and social skills to pull off something like that properly. (There is also the pickup artist community, who make sort of a science out of approaching women. They have a whole approach called cocky funny, which I think would include that example above. Ew.)

The Pickup Artist community are some of the skeeviest bros of all time. But saying something over the top and sexual, if it’s funny, is way different from street harassment. Some people are also genuinely arrogant and funny. If you make a joke about something, and it’s not at her expense, she’s included in the joke, you might get a good response. It creates a situation where she’s a co-conspirator, not an adversary.

Also different- most of the examples in the other thread were about street harassment. A woman who is taking the train or walking to work is going about her business, probably not in a sexual frame of mind. If someone says “nice ass!” during your 6 AM commute, it’s an unpleasant surprise. In the other example, it worked because it took place in a bar. A woman in a bar might actually be looking to meet someone.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Haleth If someone says “nice ass!” during your 6 AM commute, it’s an unpleasant surprise.
If she had just stepped off the bus or came up from BART and some city worker or cabby said it, she would probably tell him where to stick it or flip him ”the bird”, but if before she reacted to the comment, or it was more elegantly put like ”Yowza, I would sell my Bentley for that ass!” was made by big name star who just make a major movie would she cuss him out or flip him ”the bird”?

Haleth's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central If that happened, I think I’d be too shocked to react? Can’t answer for the rest of women.

Adagio's avatar

In short, never.

livelaughlove21's avatar

I know what comment you’re referring to on the other thread, and my answer is that it depends on the girl. Personally, I don’t care how hot the guy is – a rude/vulgar/inappropriate comment is a rude/vulgar/inappropriate comment. However, insecure and/or shallow women tend to feel differently about such things.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I don’t think this is a forum for trashing men in general, just a certain subset that is vulgarly visible. The majority of the men on this site have proven themselves to be gentlemen.

FutureMemory's avatar

No.

I’ve missed your questions, Hypo.

hearkat's avatar

I agree that it depends on the audience’s opinion on looks, wealth and/or celebrity. Clearly there are gold-diggers who will gladly jump at the opportunity to be seen on the arm of someone who’s got money; but most self-respecting women feel just as disgusted and offended regardless of the asshole’s superficial qualities.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@FutureMemory I’ve missed your questions, Hypo.
Future, (my favorite heckler from the balcony ~~) where have you been hiding? I miss my questions too, I had to do so much self-modding, many questions I pulled before posting because it would have been too deep and incendiary for here, or it would have been modded as “no Fluther standard”…...(sigh) if I can only bring myself to post tons of fluff…...

FutureMemory's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central

I had computer problems for months, is the short answer. Once I was up and running again, I honestly didn’t feel much desire to come back. I logged in today on a whim. We’ll see how it goes. (I’m distressed to see that Auggie is gone, tho.)

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