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ibstubro's avatar

If you were given a domestic servant (gardener, nanny, chef) for life what would it be?

Asked by ibstubro (18765points) September 15th, 2014

Assume the employees are top-notch.

I don’t think anyone could keep this house, so I’m tempted by gardener. Man, I’d love the house to look like a million bucks every time I drove in/by!

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41 Answers

SQUEEKY2's avatar

House keeper.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Housekeeper fo sho. I’m so private it’d be hard but I’d get used to the right person lol

ibstubro's avatar

I’m going with ‘gardener’ or ‘lands keeper’ for now. It ‘makes’ the house.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Right now I need a gardener but I guess a housekeeper could be tasked with employing a gardener, so I’ll go with a housekeeper.

yankeetooter's avatar

Masseuse. back is killing me.

fluthernutter's avatar

I’ll gladly take my gourmet meals in my messy house with my kids running amok. :D

bossob's avatar

Definitely chef. Housekeeping and gardening have scheduling flexibility. Not so with eating.

gondwanalon's avatar

I’d like to have a nanny for our two cats. Even though I really need help in maintaining our huge half acre yard. Hey, the cats come first!

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Concubine, well, can I have an English butler?

downtide's avatar

I’ll go with gardener because my garden is a total mess. But I’d really like a gardener AND a housekeeper AND a chauffeur AND a chef. No wait, I married the chef.

JLeslie's avatar

Chef and housekeeper. This is a common combination in Latin American countries, there is not necessarily one or the other. I think Alice on The Brady Bunch did both also. I guess they might not be trained chefs, but they can cook.

If I can only have one I think the chef assuming he/she is cleaning the kitchen after using it. The kicthen is what I have to clean two and three times a day, the rest of the house is just once a week more or less.

ucme's avatar


jca's avatar

A housekeeper who could cook (like Alice, mentioned by @JLeslie). Not necessarily a chef because I don’t need gourmet, just someone cooking some simple food – baked chicken, etc.

A nanny would be a tempting choice, but if it’s “for life” and my daughter will, in about 7 years, no longer need to be watched by a nanny, then that would be a waste.

longgone's avatar

This is hard.
I wouldn’t want a chef, as I like to cook and eat pretty simply.

A nanny I don’t need yet, and when I have kids, I don’t want to hand them off to someone else every day.

I don’t want a gardener either, because I want my garden to be a wild one.

May I have a butler who will mind the kids when I’m sleeping in, serve tea, wash windows and mow the grass? :)

gailcalled's avatar

A dogsbody who would be able to do a little bit of everything, including marketing, dealing with car issues and driving me places.

syz's avatar

Housekeeper makes the most sense for me, although a chef would be super tempting.

jca's avatar

@gailcalled: That’s the best answer yet.

ibstubro's avatar

Alice, schmalice. Hazel raised the kid, kept the house, cooked the meals and kept the neighborhood in line.

JLeslie's avatar

@ibstubro Hazel! Blast from the past. Love it.

Haleth's avatar

I was talking to my friend Nina about what we’re going to do when we’re rich and famous. The answer was basically, sit around by the pool all day drinking umbrella drinks. Nina is a very attractive woman with lots of curves. She had a little sparkle in her eyes and said, “would you put sunscreen on my back?”

At this point, our buddy Jose overheard us. Jose is like, a big hairy dude. He said, “Ladies, can I be your cabana boy? I’ll wear the speedo, I’m shameless.” Then he did the truffle shuffle. XD

Real-life answer, a body double who can go to work for me.

janbb's avatar

An ameneusis to make phone calls, submit medical claims, wait for service people and pay my bills.

Cupcake's avatar

I’m not sure what it would be called:
– sort mail
– pay bills
– file papers
– make appointments (and other phone calls)
– provide scheduling reminders
– send cards/gifts

elbanditoroso's avatar

@Cupcake – secretary or administrative assistant.

ucme's avatar

Our staff are already in situ, have been for generations #familiar #beentheredonethatgottheteeshirt

anniereborn's avatar

Chef for sure! I’d love to become vegan, but that is difficult unless you cook and can be expensive. I for one, hate cooking. Also, I need to lose weight. A good chef could prepare nutritious, healthful food for me.

kritiper's avatar

A cute maid in one of those frilly little black outfits with the lacey apron!

Adagio's avatar

Gardener, definitely and without doubt! A chef would come in second place.

ibstubro's avatar

Wouldn’t it be fun to invent yard improvements/projects for someone else, @Adagio!

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

^ no need to invent. They’re there. Glaring at me from the backyard. And weeds… weeds that want me to pull them out… I’d love a gardener. Not literally of course. That would be naughty. I’d get in big trouble. Even if he was ripped. :-)

janbb's avatar

Oliver Mellors, anyone?

Adagio's avatar

@Ibstubro Like Earthbound there wouldn’t be much need to invent jobs! I’d love some ideas about design and plant choice, then someone to carry out the work on a regular basis, wouldn’t bother me what gender or age, just someone who knows their stuff.

ibstubro's avatar

Oh, @Earthbound_Misfit and @Adagio, I could invent sculpting my yard so much beyond mowing and weeding!

Islands and plateaus of plants. Trees removed and replanted. My house looks fantastic front the road, but it needs updating, maintenance and tree planning.

Just the sharpening of a gardener would bring joy to my homecoming.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

:-) @ibstubro weeding and mowing is just the start of course. There’s lots of landscaping to do. I keep picturing a pond with a little bridge. Sort of like in a Monet painting…

ibstubro's avatar

I’ve given up on the pond, @Earthbound_Misfit. My spring is too unreliable, and the pond might threaten a state highway.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

That would be a big pond. We have enough land here for a good size pond. I doubt it will happen. My current gardener (unpaid) looks at me as if I’m landed from Mars when I suggest building a pond might be fun.

ibstubro's avatar

Cripes, @Earthbound_Misfit.

It’s fantasy!

Fill the pond!

Kardamom's avatar

At this very moment, because I’m sick and my back hurts, I would say masseuse.

ibstubro's avatar

Awww, @Kardamom. I’ll broaden it to “caregiver” for you.
You might need broth or an icepack, too.

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