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Khajuria9's avatar

Why is it that a person starts feeling strange/unusual if you are genuinely too kind toward him/her?

Asked by Khajuria9 (2141points) October 2nd, 2014

I have always seen this kind of behavior. When a person tends to be kind toward another person, people won’t believe him even if he is genuinely kind and not showing off. I dunno but everyone seems to have suspicious eyes toward the kind person. They won’t believe.
Would you say why?

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17 Answers

marinelife's avatar

I have not observed this.

Also, I am not sure what you mean by outrageous in this context.

gailcalled's avatar

I have not observed this either.

Khajuria9's avatar

By outrageous, I mean unusually strange here, okay, lemme edit this one and yeah, haven’t you seen that people simply won’t believe that the other person can be kind without requiring anything in return?
I dunno how is it possible that you haven’t seen this kind of thing, this is so common!

hominid's avatar

I’m still unclear about the use of outrageous here, but in my experience sincere acts of kindness are usually met with genuine gratitude, not suspicion.

Khajuria9's avatar

Either you are not understanding what I am referring to or I am not able to frame the question a better way but yes, I have seen this thing always. When a person is too kind, others simply think that he is showing off. It always takes sometime before one can be sure that he was really being nice and not trying to win others or grind his own axe.

keobooks's avatar

If a total stranger was acting too familiar and friendly with me, my alarm bells go off. There’s nothing wrong with being friendly and such, but there’s TOO friendly and TOO intimate from a stranger. People who have survived serial rapists will often say that the stranger was just oddly familiar and friendly off the bat.

It rarely happens to me—the last time I felt uneasy because someone was too friendly was about 20 years ago. But I remember that it just didn’t sit right with me.

Is that what you’re talking about?

Khajuria9's avatar

Yeah Keobooks, that is what I intended to talk about.

Pachy's avatar

I completely understand your question and consider it a good one. I think one explanation for this is that the ever-growing disconnect between what’s promised to us and what’s actually delivered from, to name just a few, politicians, law-makers, law enforcement, and world leaders; manufacturers, service companies like medical insurers, and retailers; employers and co-workers; the media; and sadly, sometimes our own friends and relatives has taught us with good reason to err on the side of wariness.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Pachy Nailed it. You have to keep up a lot of walls, because some people will take advantage of you. When a politician or car salesman starts being smooth and friendly my hand immediately covers my wallet. Same for most of the other groups in Pachy’s answer. You get screwed so many times, and all of us get careful.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I don’t know why some had a hard time understanding your question, and when people are to kind you automatically think they have some hid in motive as to why they are being so kind.
@Pachy answer was great!

hominid's avatar

Fascinating. I wonder if the difference in experience is a regional thing.

ragingloli's avatar

Because they suspect an ulterior motive.
It is seen as an attempt to gain your trust for to make them lower their guard in preparation for some dastardly deed, indeed.

Khajuria9's avatar

Thanks Pachy, I loved your answer.

Pachy's avatar

You’re very welcome, @Khajuria9.

bomyne's avatar

Many people forget what kindness looks like. We are living in a world based on suspicion, so when someone is being overly nice, people think they are up to something.

I don’t like that world.

flutherother's avatar

Fake kindness has an ulterior motive but there is also genuine kindness which is kindness simply for its own sake. Usually it isn’t too hard to tell them apart.

Pachy's avatar

A perfect example why why so many of us have difficulty trusting.

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