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Dutchess_III's avatar

Do you think tying babies up or caging them is WRONG under ANY circumstances?

Asked by Dutchess_III (43576points) October 8th, 2014

Just going to let this one fly, see where it lands.

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21 Answers

snowberry's avatar

Nope. I had 2 toddlers in the airport many years ago. I put both of them on leashes because if I hadn’t, we would never had made our plane. Regardless, I got a few round scoldings as a result. Other people actually helped me corral my 2½ year old so I could get the leash on him.

Refusing to leash some toddlers (especially extremely active ones) makes many activities impossible, and actually puts the safety of the child at risk.

Dutchess_III's avatar

? (Where did my comment go?)

When I was active it the church I babysat in the infants room. The room wasn’t very big, so someone at the church designed and built these clever cribs. They stacked 3 high, and filled up one whole wall. The tops, bottoms, and the two end sides that attached to the other cribs were solid, but the back and the front (which came down so you could but the baby in) were slated. I thought it was great.
Then somebody in the church got their undies in a bundle because they looked to much like “cages.’ Well, what do you think a crib or playpen is, Ding a ling!

gondwanalon's avatar

They put a net over my crib when I was a baby to keep me in. I survived OK.

canidmajor's avatar

I used cribs when mine were babies, and I used those harness/leash things when they were toddlers; in airports, crowded malls and such. They were happy and their hands were free to carry their own stuff. It kept them safe.

Just waiting for the “oh, that’s just a parenting fail” contingency to weigh in.
And, of course, the non-parents who know better how to do it.

@Dutchess_III, I like that stacked crib idea, what a space saver!

Dutchess_III's avatar

I think the leash is a great idea too. Hell, my grandma used to tie the toddlers to a tree when she was outside hanging up the wash.

I would have given a $1000 bucks to get my hands on one set of those cribs for Corrie for the twins when she was really cramped for space in their small bedroom.

I bought a nice high chair for Zoey at a garage sale, but it doesn’t have the belts with it and Zoes keeps trying to climb out over the top. Seek is going to loom me a belt so I can tie Zoey in the chair.

JLeslie's avatar

Nope. Big cages and leashes are just fine with me in the right circumstances.

Coloma's avatar

Well…isn’t a cage just a playpen with a top on it? lol
I used a playpen every night in the kitchen when I was making dinner and my daughter was in the crawling, toddling phase for about a year. I never cared for leashes but could see where they might come in handy, especially with twins or triplets or other multiple small kids.

Buttonstc's avatar

When my brother was a baby he had such severe acutr asthma that it was life threatening.

The Dr. advised that he should never be allowed to sleep face down. Plus he recomended a large wedge cushion under the crib sheet to keep his upper body higher.

The once he hit the age where he could roll over easily and such, the best way to keep him in proper position was to put the light cloth harness on him and attach it with clips to keep him from flipping over on his tummy.

There was still enough play in the straps so he could comfortably shift position as often as he wanted. He just couldn’t roll over completely.

Sure it looked a little strange, but after countless ambulance runs in the middle of the night with him gasping for breath, you learn to do whatever it takes to keep him safe.

(Unfortunately, the two selfish chain smoking parents chose to ignore the Drs. advice regarding not smoking around him. Consequently, his childhood was far more needlessly miserable than our first cousin who also had severe asthma but had parents who never smoked in their house again once the diagnosis was made.)

She outgrew her asthma by college age. He never did.

But, thanks in part to being harnessed in proper position at night, at least he didn’t die in his sleep.

So, I’m a big believer in doing whatever it takes to keep your children safe. If a harness and leash get the job done, then who cares what some judgemental stranger at the mall has to say about it? They don’t get veto power over your parenting decisions.

Unrestricted freedom only sounds good in theory.
Toddlers just don’t have the wisdom to handle unrestricted freedom. That’s why playpens and harness and leash systems were invented.

Plus, a lot of people don’t realize how downright tiring and painful it is for the child to constantly have to hold the parents hand. Think about it. How comfortable would you be after hours of walking around with one arm straight up in the air the whole time? Because of the height differential, that’s what ends up happening. No wonder the kid gets crabby.

Being harnessed allows them much more freedom of movement and comfort without being able to wander themselves into danger. Makes perfect sense.

ucme's avatar

I couldn’t care less what other parents do with their kids, so long as its not blatant abuse.
We never needed to do any of the things mentioned here, our kids were particularly well behaved, so there was no call for it.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

I really don’t like leashes, but I can understand why parents resort to them. I don’t feel I am in a position to say they are wrong, seeing as I am not a parent, but when I do eventually have kids I will definitely try every other option first in an attempt to avoid using one. My parents never needed one for me.

I have no problem with barriers though. That is how you child-proof a home – you put barriers on every doorway into kitchens, studies, or laundrys. There can still be plenty to explore for them so their minds and bodies are stimulated.

Dutchess_III's avatar

You never put them in cribs or playpens @ucme? Or strapped them into high chairs? Car seats? Strollers? I never needed to use a wrist leash either, but I can sure understand why some would, and I don’t blame them.

ucme's avatar

Well car seats, high chairs & pushchairs obviously require a safety harness, that goes without saying
But cages or leashes never came close to being necessary & as I already said, blame doesn’t interest me at all.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Cribs? Play pens?

ucme's avatar

Never had a playpen, they both slept in cots with standard safety rails, but no obvious restraint.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Served the same purpose as a cage, though. To make sure they didn’t end up where they shouldn’t be.

ucme's avatar

I don’t quite understand what you appear to be pushing here, seems you’re just nit picking to back up an agenda by the sounds of it.
Safety rails on a cot assure safety in terms of them falling out whilst sleeping, a cage’s primary function is to restrict movement period, not the same at all.

Stinley's avatar

My children slept in cots with high sides until they were quite old. I would strap them into high chairs, shopping trolleys, prams, car seats where the height or speed could be a danger. I didn’t need to use the reins or leash as they were both happy to stay with me and hold my hand. I still love holding their hands.
I do get worried when I see toddlers in prams going quite fast without their seatbelts on. I’d rather people kept their children safe than not but I get a funny feeling when I see children on the leashes though. it just makes me think that they are being treated like a dog. I think I’m being irrational though, since i am very safety conscious otherwise

jca's avatar

I agree with @ucme, @Dutchess_III that you seem to be pushing an agenda with your responses.

A playpen is not a cage. I think of a cage as having a top on it, so it’s 6 sided. A playpen has an open top.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Lot’s of cages have open tops, like an elephant or giraffe cage at the zoo. A cage means you’re enclosing the kid, or animal, to stop some particular thing from happening. When I kid gets big enough to crawl out of a crib, or playpen, then you put it up because it can no longer serve its purpose.

jca's avatar

Well the “cage” you described with the multi-tiered things seems more like a cage to me. I don’t think of playpens as cages. I still agree with @ucme that you’re pushing your agenda with your wording in the previous comments.

OpryLeigh's avatar

If a young child is learning to walk I think they should get the opportunity to do it as much as possible (providing they don’t get over tired obviously) so, for that reason I think toddler reigns are better than push chairs. The child gets to practise it’s walking skills (which, in my limited experience with toddlers, they want to do at every opportunity) and gets a certain amount of freedom but they can still easily be kept safe and the mother can be kept sane while trying to run errands with a toddler in tow!

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