Social Question

AndrewThan35's avatar

Why do you think people often assume that a non-talkative nature is the sign of shyness?

Asked by AndrewThan35 (192points) November 25th, 2014

Can’t a person be both confident and quiet? Why or why not?

I would like to hear your opinions. Thank you for sharing your opinions.

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13 Answers

picante's avatar

Introversion is often mistaken for social shyness or ineptitude, and that’s wrong, both factually and in the way it affects introverts. Susan Cain is the leader of “The Quiet Revolution.” You should Google her and listen to her TED-Talks—quite inspirational.

I am very quiet by nature; I relish alone time; I’m at my best when I can think quietly. And I am a very high-functioning, confident introvert. Thank you for asking the question!

crissy14's avatar

Isn’t it obvious? Shy people keep to themselves. Being quiet can be shy or considered an observer. Some people are just dumb and don’t want others knowing. Some that are sitting there not saying anything may be the smartest in the room. There’s no “1” answer to this question.

If I’m quiet, that means I’m annoyed.

AndrewThan35's avatar

@picante : Thank you very much for your answer, which indeed was very full. Thank you for a very thorough answer. And you’re more than welcome. :)

rojo's avatar

Yes, a person can be both confident and quiet but it is a rare combination.

The odds are greater that the quiet person is shy and lacks self-confidence so that is why we assume it to be that way most of the time.

AndrewThan35's avatar

@crissy14 : It is poignantly true. Your words are literally true. It is an inescapable fact. That is a truism and is very important to restate. Thank you for that very comprehensive answer. :)

marinelife's avatar

Yes, they can be. I do not assume shyness.

thorninmud's avatar

Silence can be a sign of confidence. What makes people uncomfortable about silence in the company of others is typically a fear of being judged as unfriendly, aloof or socially awkward. We only worry about this around people whose opinion of us matters to us. I certainly wouldn’t feel compelled to chatter away to the guy next to me on a bus, because my self-image doesn’t depend on his opinion of me. But if I want to make a good impression on someone, then I may feel compelled to keep the conversation going, always doing whatever I can to come across as affable, informed, socially competent, etc. So it can take a whole lot of confidence to allow stretches of silence, moments when you relax any concerns about how you’re being evaluated.

AndrewThan35's avatar

@thorninmud : This is an excellent answer. What can I possibly add to that? Well, I want to thank you very much for your time.

kritiper's avatar

People are just that way. If they don’t see you as being shy, then they think you’re stuck-up.

Coloma's avatar

^^^ Yes, agreed.
I think it is more often associated with being stuck up or arrogant at times. My ex SIL was very quiet and sort of came across as snobby when in reality she was just very introverted.
I used to secretly call her ” Church lady” and “Polly Purebred.” lol

I am an extrovert and have learned a lot about personality and temperament over the years. The only issue I have with extreme introverts is it is hard to get some flow in a conversation. Actually I have become more introverted myself in my middle age. I still enjoy lively discussion but equally like my solitude and quiet time. One of my best friends is quite quiet but when she is comfortable she really opens up and has a great dry sense of humor.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

The smartest people I know are generally quiet. I’m pretty introverted but I’m not quiet all of the time especially if I’m with others who think like I do. 70% of the time though I’m the one not saying anything.

prairierose's avatar

A lot of people associate being quiet with being shy.

Being quiet can, but does not necessarily mean, being shy. A quiet person doesn’t feel the need to talk all of the time and is calm and comfortable just being a quiet observer. He or she is not uncomfortable with interacting with others but chooses not to engage in conversations.

A shy person is apprehensive, nervous, anxious and afraid to interact with others. A shy person may wish to engage in conversions, but is not confident enough to do so.

prairierose's avatar

oops! typo not “conversions” (last sentence) should read “conversations” maybe a having a bit too much of alcoholic beverages is affecting my typing. Oh well!

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