What is a good present for an 87-year-old woman in assisted living?

Food treats that she likes?

I’ve always thought that for older people, and especially for those whose basic needs are met and may have more “stuff” than they really need (or want) any more, that…

@janbb answered for me.

@CWOTUS Can I speak for you always? You would sound so much more intelligent.

My 90 year old mom gets audio books from us. She keeps up with the authors she likes, then donates them to the library.

The Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga duet album (and CD player)
A collage of loved people and beautiful scenes (or just a few loved pictures blown up very large/black-and-white?)
A potted plant
A soft, fuzzy blanket
Soft, fuzzy socks
Slippers with a grippy sole
Lightly fragranced lotion
A new hairbrush
A massage
A custom-made, large-print book of memories from loved ones
A donation made in her name to a non-profit that would be meaningful to her
Funding a micro-loan that would be meaningful to her
A sturdy cup/mug

My grandmother had a bag that fit just-so on to her walker that held all of the little things that Grandma wanted to bring to dialysis… her glasses, a blanket and a shawl/sweater/robe, a hairbrush, a magnifying mirror, chapstick… all in little compartments so that she could find everything without being able to see much. Perhaps there is a corollary for this lady.

A pet cat?

Things to pamper herself with; things for the bath, things for her hair, things that smell nice.

Does she have access to a DVD player? Watching movies together is always fun, maybe finding some of her old favorites on disc.

Shortbread cookies.

A dvd of Cocoon.

Watching TV or screens of any kind is very difficult for someone with macular degeneration. Reflective surfaces are especially problematic.

I also buy my step-mother who has vision problems audiobooks as @canidmajor suggested. I’ve also bought her flowers that have a stronger scent so she can enjoy the perfume if she can’t see them well. Scarves that she can put around her shoulders and neck if she’s cold. Pyjamas or warm cosy slippers.

We get mom things like new house slippers, housecoats, nightgowns, warm sweaters and cardigans, fuzzy blankets, reading glasses, magnifying glasses, English teas and cookies (but gotta watch the diabetes), the occasional picture and mens undershirts (the ones commonly called wifebeaters) but these we slip her surreptitiously. She took to wearing dads when he died and wore them to rags. Now we replace them on the sly and, fortunately or unfortunately depending on your point of view, her dementia keeps her from noticing but it makes her happy to think she still has a part of him with her.

We have to be careful with the printed word which is terrible for someone who has enjoyed reading her entire life; her dementia leads her into all kinds of fantasies (more like nightmares) and paranoia’s.

We bought my grandma a memory foam mattress which she loved as the mattress in her room was horrible.
We also put up a bulletin board and put up pictures of the family.

A day spent with you out of the room. Out of the facility. Out to the botanical garden where it smells nice with bright colors and pleasant people. Right after you treat her to a hair styling from the beauty salon and wrap her in the new shawl you gave her.

^ That’s the loveliest idea yet.

A pretty doll or nice stuffed animal for her to hold or cuddle up to.

Maybe you could just ask her what she needs or would like, offer some ideas and find out if she would like them, like maybe audio books for instance. Or find out what fragrances she likes and maybe get her one of those wax melt pots the non-candle kind that emits fragrance as the wax melts. Just put out some ideas to her and find out how she reacts to them. She may just want to spend some time with the people she loves, so arrange that.

So much depends on her mental functioning of course. My Dad liked talking books for a while but then he couldn’t follow them.

I would think that your time would be the greatest gift.