For those on a diet, how do you refuse certain foods that are offered to you?

Just think about your weight loss goal and keep your eyes on the prize. Tell yourself that it will pay off for you if you resist. Drink some water or something that will help keep you full. For me, coffee or tea will help me feel full. It also helps if you don’t show up at parties feeling hungry. Eat something at home first, like salad or a vegetable like string beans. That way, you won’t be tempted by foods.

As far as how do you politely refuse people without offending them, different people will give you different opinions on that one. Just say “no thank you” and that should be enough. What you can do if you don’t want to deal with pushy people is just take something on your plate and then throw it out. Some may disagree with that suggestion but it’s a way of being polite and not even discussing diet. Just smile and say thank you, push the food around on plate, and chuck when nobody’s looking.

“No thank you, I can’t eat that.”

And if they ask why:

“It’s for my health, if I eat that I will get sick.”

Tomorrow marks two years since I severely cut back on anything that converts easily to sugar: flour, rice, potatoes, starches, grains, most fruit. And I learned to say, “I have to eat this way for my heart.”

I am not on a diet, I have had a lifestyle change.

Anyone who gets offended because you won’t jeopardize your health is someone who doesn’t really care for you, and you would be better off without them in your life.

@zenvelo Was the lifestyle change easy for you to make? Or did you find yourself falling off the wagon a couple of times? Especially during Christmas, easter, birthdays, etc?

How often have you had to deal with this kind of person?

I am not on a diet. My lifestyle keeps me in shape. I don’t overindulge, and I am reasonably active. I do refuse certain foods, however. I say “No thanks.” and absolutely stick to it.
If someone puts something on my plate after I clearly refuse, I will let it sit there – as a symbol of my resolve and their rudeness for ignoring my wishes.

I treat alcohol the same way. “Want another?” “No thanks I’ve had enough.” If another drink is poured after I say no, I will let it rot there – even if I was dying of thirst. It shows I have self-control and they are inconsiderate.

You could just say you had a late lunch or whatever and say you aren’t that hungry. And if they force it on your plate ask for a package when you leave so you can eat it later (wink, wink).

@bomyne My change was not that difficult for me, partly because I felt better within a few days. Getting sugars and carbohydrates out of my system coupled with daily exercise and movement helped my system run “cleaner”. I felt more energy, less sluggishness, and slept better.

I have been at a static weight for over a year. And being at the same weight allows me indulgences, but small ones. I had a couple of pieces of See’s candy chocolates yesterday at my mothers; that was my Christmas treat. I have had an occasional dessert, once a month or so, but when I do I know I will run farther the next day.

I don’t call it “falling off the wagon” because I don’t consider how I eat as a discipline, but as a re-tooling of how I fuel myself.

I did not have very many instances of people trying to get me to eat something or “just one bite.” And one reason is that I looked much better within a couple weeks.

“No, thanks. I love your new haircut. Who did it?” No one that I break bread with ever does this.

Yes, just say “No…thanks.” People that care for you will respect your choices and not attempt to pressure you. Not any different than pressuring someone to drink who is a non-drinker or trying to quit the habit.I have an ex friend now that once, actually had the nerve to order me a giant plate of cheese filled bread sticks at a restaurant when I went to the restroom, after explicitly telling her all I wanted was a dinner salad and small diet drink. She was jealous of my weight loss and that I was looking really good while she was overweight.

I was so incensed!
I refused t eat them. Talk about blatant disrespect and sabbotage, pfft!

No thank you should be enough. If they are offended that is their problem. They don’t think about these things in the right way in my opinion. Old world thinking getting offended over things like that. Are any if them over 60 and had a heart attack yet? Then they might change their tune.

Whether it be for health, religion, or you just don’t like the food, that should be respected period, especially at a celebration, why would anyone want to cause tension over food on a festive day?

I never thought of just taking some and leaving it on my plate as @jca recommended. I don’t think it wouldn’t work in my family, because people would ask if I liked it. It might work in other situations.

I don’t drink, and I get people offering me drinks all the time, every so often someone will want me to “have just one.” It doesn’t happen much as I get older. I learned to just say, “no thank you,” and over time people know I’m just not going to drink and it becomes a nonissue. Although, Christmas Eve she never would care at all that I don’t want to drink alcohol yet she was upset that I had no drink while everyone was socializing before dinner. A coke, water, something. I don’t understand why that is important? I wasn’t thirsty. I usually think alcohol oriented people have to have a drink in their hand as some sort of security blanket, but she doesn’t always drink alcohol either.

It’s your body and you decide what goes into it. If people are offended that you won’t eat what they’re offering, it’s their problem. There’s no trick to turning down food – you just have to do it.

I didn’t go on a “diet” to lose 30+ lbs and I still regularly eat things that are “full of fat and/or sugar” without any issue. I’ve eaten a pretty epic amount of calories over the last two days and none of it was “detrimental” to anything. I eat differently now, and track my calories and macronutrients in order to maintain my weight and get the best results I can with my fitness routine, but Christmas comes once a year and, as long as I don’t turn the holidays into weeks or months of binge eating, it’s not a big deal. I’ll be damned if I’m going to obsess over calories during Christmas with loved ones.

However, if you believe that you can’t eat x or your diet will be ruined, then that’s your choice and you need to learn to say no.

While I too agree that paying attention to what we eat is part of healthy living, I also understand
how frustrating it can be at times trying to work around others special diet quirks. I have a friend that doesn’t eat dairy, pork, beef, gluten, msg, carrots, mushrooms, on and on. She is constantly scanning labels and it is a PITA at times.

No mushrooms in the spaghetti sauce, no hidden msg, have to substitute coconut milk in recipes that just don’t turn out right. I love her as a friend but sometimes her food obsessions and restrictions drive me nuts.

@Coloma She’d have to bring her own food if she was my friend. I’d never let my food quirks (if I had any) inconvenience people unnecessarily.

Actually, having one piece of fudge, for example, really won’t hurt, it is the 4th and 5th piece that sabotages a diet. Instead of denying yourself some of your favorite foods just eat smaller portions, eat slowly, savor the food. When you deny yourself some of your favorite foods a diet seems like punishment rather than a good thing. Another hint, don’t tell people that you are on a diet, just politely refuse if you don’t want to eat something by saying “I am not very hungry right now” or something similar.

@livelaughlove21 It can be challenging.

Like I suggested above, eat before you go. That serves two purposes: You will be full and you can say “I’m stuffed right now, thanks” and that’s it.

@jca I think people who want someone to eat are offended when someone ate already.

@Coloma I definitely wouldn’t twist yourself in a knot to accommodate your friend. I wouldn’t plan eating together with her, or almost always eat out wherever she chooses. If she were staying with me is just let her handle her own meals, although I would happily pick groceries up for her before she arrived.

@prairierose Well, my cheating is going to be on only the yummiest of cheats since I think the cheating does shorten my life. When it comes to religious food rules or fundamental belief food rules I really don’t see how we can ask people to make any exceptions except in times of starvation. Obviously also, foods that make people feel unwell or hurts their health we wouldn’t want to ask someone to eat.

@JLeslie Yeah, we have a few standard, mutual meals that don’t involve extreme adjustments. haha

Just consider which is more important to you: possibly momentarily but probably not hurting your host’s feelings or your own health. Personally, I always for the second choice because anyone who hosts me cares enough about me to understand and not be offended.

Mmmm….I just put my daughters boyfriends famous meat loaf in the oven, with baked squash and peas and more christmas cookies for dessert. Having a big tumbler of wine right now too. Is still the season of decadence and hedonism, embrace it.
Big New Years bash/birthday party here at the ranch on New Years too…we are baking 3 cakes and scads of food, forget calorie counting for another week at least. lol

Hey, in my defense I spent 2 hours working the hot horses here today that have been stalled for 2 weeks because of storms. Lunging the bucking mares is a major workout.
If I’d chosen to just saddle up I’d be in the ER right now. Fresh horses means FRESH, as in, they will kick your ass if you don’t get their ya ya’s out first. haha

I don’t know where to begin to reply… So just let me say, Thank you everyone, even if I don’t reply to you directly. Let’s try this.

@prairierose Actually, I don’t consider my diet… diet is a bad choice of word… I guess lifestyle would be a better choice… punishing in any way, shape or form. It’s simply a case of eating more greens and less sugar (Including pasta and potato), more lean meat, and drinking healthy drinks.

I do like sugary stuff – like fudge, yes – but I think you hit the nail on the head… “Just one” leads to “Just another” and so on. However, I don’t feel the need to have sugary foods.

@Coloma That’s happened to me before, and it’s actually the incident that originated this question. I have a friend who once bought me some chicken treat (Australian competitor to KFC). I tried “No thanks” and “It’s against the rules”, but I ended up having to eat it because I don’t like to offend people. Keeping in mind that I have struggled with diets, and have often “fallen off the wagon” many times… including this incident. This is the kind of person that believes you are starving if you don’t eat a lot of food every meal.

@livelaughlove21 With respect to you, that is the kind of attitude that I have to fight hard against. “It’s Christmas, have a pavlova”.
I don’t count calories at any time of the year, but I still have to fight against this kind of attitude, even from my own family… the very same people that encouraged me to lose this weight and get into shape. My girlfriend seems to be the only person in my life that truly understands what my lifestyle change requires… and that saddens me :(

@JLeslie You know, I don’t drink either… and my friends and family only ever offer my juice or water, or coke on the times I have fallen off the wagon.

I wonder if I can get it into their mind to offer me a garden salad instead of a potato/pasta salad? A carrot instead of fudge? It’s worth a try at any rate.

Related question: Since you don’t drink, do you somehow always end up the designated driver when going out to dinner?

As I said above, Thank you everyone. Your replies mean a lot to me. Thanks.

I wonder if I can get it into their mind to offer me a garden salad instead of a potato/pasta salad? A carrot instead of fudge? It’s worth a try at any rate.

Take control. “Gramps, swap that piece of fudge for a carrot and I’d love to eat it.”

Why does the saboteur have the right to be offensive but not you?

@bomyne While in college I typically was the driver for two reasons. One, I didn’t drink. Two, I transferred as a sophomore and wound up in a dorm with mostly freshman and freshman weren’t allowed to have cars, so I was one of the few people of my closest friends who had a car.

As an adult fewer friends drink heavily. We had a set if close friends, neighbors actually, who are alcoholics, and we offer to drive, because I don’t feel safe otherwise. Sometimes friends if ours ask us to drive, because they want to drink, and it can be annoying sometimes.

Are you saying you are a recovering alcoholic? Maybe your family takes that seriously, but not diet issues. I assume (I know it’s bad to assume) if you are an alcoholic so are other people in your family. Just a little stereotype, but generally alcohol families and people don’t care too much about how others see things relating to health and tend to be more worried about calming their own anxieties and making themselves feel comfortable. It’s a gross generalization I realize. Some of it is cultural too. My mother never made me eat anything. She never was insulted if someone didn’t like something she prepared.

Either way I think over time if your diet change is a permanent change they will get used to it, accommodate you more, and stop pressuring you.

@JLeslie No no no. I’m not an alcoholic, nor recovering. I never actually got into the stuff because there isn’t an alcoholic drink that I can stand the taste or smell of. Which leads me to be the designated driver at every single family outing. :)

@bomyne I misunderstood when you wrote you fell off the wagon.

I should clarify that I don’t feel they have any obligation to provide you with the food that suits your diet, I do think that it is reasonable to expect that they don’t try to push you to eat something your don’t want to eat or criticize your food choices assuming you aren’t doing anything seriously damaging to your health.

@bomyne: When you say your friend brought chicken treat (equivalent of KFC) to your house in hopes you would partake with her, and you have fallen off the wagon in the past, she probably wanted to eat it herself and thought you would enjoy falling off the wagon again this time, and you both could eat it together. In that case, I would tell her to enjoy it and you would eat a salad or whatever.

In your example of have they thought of offering you a garden salad instead of potato salad, I go back to if you are at someone’s house and you have these certain dietary requests or restrictions, make sure you eat first so you know that even if there’s no garden salad at the place, you have had yours.

Like @JLeslie said, nobody has an obligation to serve you food that suits your diet. When you go to someone’s house, they have what they have and either you eat it or you don’t.

@JLeslie No harm done. I’ll clarify what I mean… I consider myself haven “fallen off the wagon” when I throw caution to the wind and partake in coca cola, or potato, rice, or pasta dishes. When I eat chocolate or stuff like KFC.

@jca Actually, the person in this case had bought a huge family pack for the entire family… My parents and brother ate it without question, and I tried to resist a little but… As I said, I hate to feel like I have offended someone… If I feel like I have crossed that line and have caused offense, I feel rotten inside for possibly weeks, especially if the person was a close friend.

@bomyne Maybe you should just ask people if they are offended if you choose not to eat? Then you won’t have to twist yourself in knots. It might all be in your head. They probably aren’t offended. They possibly feel bad if they don’t have something you would like to eat. If that is the case you can reassure them you are not offended.

@bomyne What does your lifestyle change require exactly? Never indulging and just enjoying yourself? Constantly resisting and turning down delicious treats with the belief that even a minor indulgence will completely sabotage your goals? Now that’s what’s sad. Plenty of people manage to eat “unhealthy” things from time to time and lose or maintain their weight. One day will not undo months of hard work. Everything in moderation.

I ate over 4000 calories on Wednesday and again on Thursday. No regrets. I did the same during the week of Thanksgiving and ended up losing weight the following week, and I didn’t spend that week trying to “make up” for those days. I just enjoyed the holiday and went about business as usual, working out and eating as I always do.

Super strict diets have a very high rate of failure, just so you know. A bit a flexibility would do you some good. You don’t have to eat like I do on holidays, but obsessing over your diet like that is pretty darn unhealthy.

@livelaughlove21 My diet is not strict at all. It’s very enjoyable.

Basically, if the food contains more than 10g (5g preferred though) carbs or 2g of fat per 100g (this is marked on the label), i refuse it.

Honestly, what’s sad is the continued belief that food must contain sugar to be enjoyable. I don’t WANT to be eating chocolate or pavlova, cake, pies, etc. But – and this is the reason for this question – i hate to feel like i have offended someone… and there are a lot of people that if you say no to, you might as well have shot their dog.

It’s a high protein, low fat low carb lifestyle. It involves moderate exercise (no strenuous exercise). I like it. The idea is that you are eating real food (not like the shake diets… i can’t stand those). Steak and salad for dinner, chicken and salad for lunch, that kind of thing. Water being the primary drink (pure H2O is delicious, by the way).

And it’s worked for a friend of mine. The problem is that she really does have the ability to say no and if you take offense, stuff you. Sadly, i don’t. I guess i’m too sensitive to what other people think.

I hope this post makes more sense to you than it did to me. :)

Being so fearful of offending other people will leave you emotionallly crippled in more arenas than eating badly. Sooner or later you need to address this issue. Healthy behavior allows you to also be offended.

@bomyne I am wondering if you are the type of person who is easily offended? You might be projecting.

@bomyne “Basically, if the food contains more than 10g (5g preferred though) carbs or 2g of fat per 100g (this is marked on the label), i refuse it.”

That, quite frankly, is completely ridiculous and unnecessary for weight loss. I just feel bad for you at this point.

It worked for your friend because she was eating fewer calories than her body was burning. That’s how all weight loss occurs. Calories in vs. calories out. Carbs are not evil, nor are fats. I lost 30+ lbs eating 200 g carbs, 50 g fat, and 120+ g protein daily, and I’m not a special snowflake. It comes down to calories, not restricting carbs and fats in the manner you are.

Good luck with that.

Maybe they aren’t offended, maybe they are worried about you. How much do you wiegh and how tall are you?

I haven’t read the other posts, but will do so after answering. I just say “No thanks, I’m already too stuffed.” If they persist, then I say, “Maybe I’ll have one a little later.” If they persist and later rolls around, then I might say, “Would you mind if I took one of those home with me? I’m still too stuffed to eat one right now.” Then you can take it and not eat it, maybe give it to someone else, or just toss it. No harm, no foul.