Social Question

Heather13's avatar

Is it common for most men to forget how angry they were with a woman?

Asked by Heather13 (495points) January 30th, 2015

I just need to understand how common it is for men who keeps proclaiming love towards a woman and is easily turned on by seeing her, to forget that he is angry with her. Yet, once he sees her after a couple days, he acts as though everything is fine between them.
His explanation as to why he is no longer angry is that his “anger went away once he saw her”.

I also want to know; is the longer a guy stays mad at a girl and ignores her, any evidence that he had strong feelings for her?

Thank you.

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21 Answers

ucme's avatar

Maintaining anger with any female in your life is counter productive, for two very simple reasons:

1) You never win.
2) Potential sex ban

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Putting the cookies on the lower shelf, are you wondering how is it a man can be furious with a woman but appear to be unaffected or not remember how angry he appeared to be because he seen her? Did he see her when get got so pissed, or was or over the phone, email, or by something she did?

dappled_leaves's avatar

For a person to say that “my anger went away once he saw you” means:

(1) I can’t be bothered to figure out (or explain to you) why I was angry


(2) I can’t be bothered to figure out (or explain to you) why I’m no longer angry.

In other words, he’s not communicating with you even though you’re asking him to. Do you know why he was angry? Was his anger justified? If not, why are you staying with him if he randomly gets angry with you and won’t explain himself?

Heather13's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central and @dappled_leaves well, its a situation where he got jealous over her taking a call from a male friend while she was talking to him. He told her he felt like she disrespected him for hanging up on him and taking another call from her male friend. He he had ignored her calls, then decided to skype with her. When he saw her on skype he acted as though nothing happened. She asked him how come he was so happy to seem her. He said when he saw her, his anger went away.

dappled_leaves's avatar

@Heather13 So, you are talking about teenagers?

Heather13's avatar

@dappled_leaves lol. Sounds like it. But I am talking about two peole in their late 20’s.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@dappled_leaves But I am talking about two peole in their late 20’s.
Now knowing the how, and the why, I have to it was his insecurities in the relationship. Maybe he knows he is not doing the best he can and is afraid that some other guy will remove him from the table and take his meat from the plate. When she cut him off and took the other call, he got scared that his fears were maybe coming true. Out of frustration he got pissed at her instead of examining himself, to make him so great to her, he would be like air; she would not want to leave home without it. Once he cooled down, he figured he better smooth it over because of the union broke up, he would get the shorter end of the stick.

dappled_leaves's avatar

@Heather13 He may be in his late 20s, but he is still a child. She should dump him.

JLeslie's avatar

Men have shorter memories than women.

Also, if they think they can get some sex they won’t care about being angry.

SloanFaunus's avatar

@JLeslie that’s insulting and a bit sexist.

I won’t disagree that a majority of the members of my sex are much too concerned with sexual activity, but that does not mean that we are all subservient dogs who are controlled by our immediate desires. The fact that he doesn’t care enough to work through problems and merely excuses them on grounds of sexual desire is both unhealthy and degrading. If I were you, I’d be offended. No one should act hostile toward you and dismiss you only after you’ve given them an orgasm. Its disrespectful and evidence that he merely thinks of you as an object. If this wasn’t the case, then he’d care much more about how the situation afftected you and would desire to make sure that you were at ease with the situation as well.

JLeslie's avatar

@SloanFaunus Way too serious. Men have a short memory when it comes to anger is pretty much a good thing. Women will bring up the shitty thing he did 20 years ago. Like Dr. Phil says, “women have a long memory.” It’s all generalizations. Not every man, not every woman.

Men, especially young men, are usually obsessed with sex. I’ve been married 22 years, and I don’t think my husband is some hormonal, controlled by wanting sex, idiot. Most men aren’t. But, when it comes to being angry about something they are going to get over anyway they tend to get over it sooner rather than later, and a little possibility of sex certainly can help.

SloanFaunus's avatar

It’s dangerous to speak in absolutes. My sensibilities were not offended, though. I try not to become angry at ill considered statements.

JLeslie's avatar

I never mean to speak in absolutes. Everyone is an individual. I do generalize and I have no problem with it.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

As a man I see no reason to stay mad for extended periods of time, especially if your not going to win or get your point across.
It amazes me that women can stay mad for such a long time, why????

dappled_leaves's avatar

Good thing we’ve agreed that generalizing is a bad idea.

gailcalled's avatar

Isn’t speaking in absolutes the same as generalizing, or have I missed something?

JLeslie's avatar

@gailcalled Haven’t we discussed this several times. Generalizing does not have to mean absolutes it depends what definition you use. In my dictionary I use generalize to mean most, or that it’s common, not that everyone in a group meets the generalization. Do I have to link dictionary examples again?

When the media reports the Jewish vote is going to Obama are you confused and actually think they are trying to say every single Jewish person will vote for Obama? Or, do you understand they know some Jews might vote for Romney? Generalization are made constantly and people understand it doesn’t mean every single individual who might be part if that group. I guess you don’t understand that and some other jellies don’t, but most people do. @SQEEKY2 does anyway. I’m sure he doesn’t think every single woman is exactly the same when it comes to this topic.

SloanFaunus's avatar

I’m not really interested in arguing semantics. It’s better to say what you mean and mean what you say instead of relying on shortcuts to relay your meaning for you.
And just so I’m clear, your justification for saying that women have longer memories than men is that women are more petty? Unbiased sexism is a counterintuitive notion.

JLeslie's avatar

I never said petty. If anything I would say women go through more shit in life and have more trauma. That’s why their memories are longer.

I said originally what I meant, I just forgot the tilde so it wouldn’t be taken so seriously.

This is ridiculous.

I’m a girl and I almost never hold a grudge. I’m the first to just let things go. You have to really abuse me over and over again for me to put a wall up.

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