What food mishaps have befallen you in the years you've been alive?

Food poisoning I got from a burrito I got out of a vending machine in college.

The first time I ever made macaroni noodles, as a newlywed, I put them on the table, looked at them and asked my new husband, “Do they grow when you cook them?”

My first year as an adult I invited my family for thanks giving. No one showed up and I added BBQ sauce to the turkey and quartered it. I ate lots of mashed potatoes that week.

That is the saddest thing I ever heard @talljasperman.

I was the steward for my fraternity in college- did the meal planning, ordering an told the cook what was to make for dinner.

One day I knew I would be gone all afternoon, so I asked the cook to make up some frozen raviolis with a sauce. we’d never had the raviolis before, I was trying to see if they went well.

5:30 rolls around and the cook “left early.” The frozen raviolis were baking on cookie sheets, not boiled, and instead of the usual bolognese sauce, he’d made up a white sauce. The raviolis were like rocks.

The treasurer and I ended up handing out cash so people could go get pizza.

Was taking a turkey out of the oven and managed to badly burn my hand with the steam escaping from the vent in the dutch oven.

Just a couple months ago, I dropped an iron frying pan on my bare big toe. Still black.

When I was about 12, my parents were going to a formal party.
My mom’s champagne-colored floor length formal dress was hanging by a hanger on a “secretary” that was in the room where our TV was.
Before she went to get dressed, she made me her famous spaghetti and meat sauce for my dinner, before they went out.
I put a big pile of it on a plate and walked into the the TV room to eat it and watch the tube. I slipped on an area rug and tossed the entire plate of famous spaghetti and meat sauce onto her dress.

Oh shit.

When my daughter was about 3 I pulled a pan of cookies out of the oven and set them on the stove. For whatever 3 year old reason, she put her lips on the edge of the pan where she could reach. learned to shove everything to the far back of the stove.

Last year I was making the most amazing stir fry and when flipping my wok the whole thing flipped all over the kitchen. It was DEVASTATING! haha
Not only did I destroy about $30 dollars worth of shrimp, peppers, other veggies but it was EVERYWHERE! Down the cupboards, between the stove and wall, all over the floor. I cried and swore and swore some more and cried. Then I drank some wine and pouted. lol

I made a pretty shitty salsa tonight. Oh well. I still ate it.

I seriously burned my hand while cooking sausages.

Food poisoning from oysters.

Almost choked on a piece of meat. Thankfully whacking my own chest loosened it since the people I was with were so busy talking they missed me gasping for air.

I shook a salad dressing bottle vigorously whose cap wasn’t on tight. Yeh, that was fun.

One time, while measuring to see if each meatball had the exact same circumference, I sneezed & dropped one on my foot.
Another time I poured boiling water on my corn flakes, mistaking the kettle for the milk bottle.

Not sure if this counts, but a large container of Vietnamese pho spilled on the front seat of my car. It was months before the smell went away. Note: this was a week after a severe bout of food poisoning from pho, so the smell was unbearable.

That poor car. My wife’s friend gave birth in the back seat. Needless to say, that was cleaned by a professional.

The first time I ever made coffee was for a 12 step meeting. I was asked to be the coffee maker and I had no idea how to make it and I was too embarrassed to admit this.

Instead of measuring out a little scoop of coffee and putting that in the filter, I filled the filter all the way up to the top. The coffee took FOREVER to brew and when people drank it, they said it was so strong they felt like they couldn’t say they were clean and sober after drinking it. They felt like they were coked up.

Of course, the best “mishaps” happen when someone yells…”food fight!”
You will be sneezing mashed potato for days on end.

I’m trying to drink my coffee, but I keep snorting it out my nose reading this!

Oh and I can’t think of how many things I made explode in the microwave. So many, it’s not worth telling a story about it because it happened so many times.

@keobooks Oh yeah…I hate that too! Just the other day I was melting a little bowl of butter to baste on some garlic bread and it exploded all over the microwave. Gah! We call our microwave ” The Terminator”...it is so freaking powerful, like 15 seconds will launch your lunch. lol

I once tipped over an entire lasagna straight into an oven. God that was a mess.

Oh, once I was waitress and had a tray loaded with several individual lasagna bowls that had just come out of the oven. I had a full tray in each hand, supporting them with my forearm. One of the lasagna bowls slipped and came to rest against my arm! I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. I spun around, the bartender saw me and swept the bar clean so I could put the damn try down. It was against my arm for several seconds, and boy did that hurt!