I need some advice!

Sorry to have to tell you this, but forget the other girl (the France one). She obviously likes stringing you along for her benefit. This about it: it works perfectly for her. she goes away to France for a year (who knows what she’s doing there…), and when she comes home, she knows she can just call you up because you will come back to her. And because you love her, you don’t want to let her go. Believe me, I know what you’re dealing with. I really don’t think it is love what you are feeling. I think it may be longing or something similar to that. If you like the person you are with right now, see it through for a while. You’ve only been dating briefly, so who knows what may happen. What will most likely happen is you will realize that there is more out in the world other than this one girl you’ve known for 6 years.
I was in a situation like this (twice. Wow. Go me.) before and, all I ever got out of pining for the guy was a heart full of pain, and embarrassment. The phone calls wanting me back, the feeling that maybe this person really does love me after all, it just wasn’t worth it. You deserve so much more than a player (and that’s what she is). There is no reason you need to keep having your heart broken by this girl.

I agree with Les. It sounds like the “french” girl just wants a friend to hang with for the summer.

I agree with Les also. No one deserves to be treated like that. Sorry she is doing that to you man

I third it. Sorry buddy. Theres such a thing as romanticizing (sp?) a girl so much that it seems like love. I’ve been there. It just takes some time to talk yourself down from it…take your chances with the new girl. Life’s to short.

I agree with everyone else. I had a similar situation with a girl that I fell in love with, head-over-heels, in a matter of two weeks.. we had an unbelievable connection and she was just that awesome. She went back to her job in Germany. It ended up I spent all this energy pining for her, maintaining contact, etc., but ultimately, I guess she just wanted a fling (I never did figure it out entirely) and she broke my heart.

It sounds like this girl enjoys stringing you along, and it works really well for her. She seems a bit self-absorbed and you deserve a more whole love than that. I know it’s hard when you’re in love with someone, but if this has been going on for 6 years, I think it’s time you put your foot down.

It may take distance, so don’t feel badly about saying so to her. “Look, I’m in a relationship right now and even though I care a lot about you and still want to be friends, I need some space to focus on my girlfriend. I’ll email you when I’m ready.”

Why don’t you explain your feelings to the girl that comes back every summer from france. I think everything you mentioned in your details describes your feelings the best, you obviously have bottled up love for this person. Its hard to lay all your feelings down at once, but I think you will get an answer if you do. Maybe she feels the same(then again she might just be having “summer fun” with you). If you are lost in your path to her heart, let her know. It will hurt more if you let your questions unanswered. You could be missing out on a chance with someone that will make you happy or in the conclusion of letting her know how you feel she could be the one. I think women ultimately enjoy emotional honesty because they rarely ever recieve it.

waiting for PnL answer. Where have u been?

Where will the summer love girl be in six weeks? Gone off again?

Where will the new girl be? Still here? Would you do to someone else what is being done to you?

I think Les said it the best. Return the French girl’s phone call, tell her you are currently dating someone and clearly suggest that what you two had is over. This doesn’t mean that you decide to push things with the new girl, take it slow, give yourself time to heal from the other one. It can’t be love when you have been limited to being a booty call. Love is an emotional and physical thing. I don’t think it’s a good time to tell the new girl about the past one. You are still too early in that relationship and it’s hard for any girl to hear this kind of stuff that early when she isn’t even attached. She might think you have too much “baggage” so to speak. The new girl might be THE girl or she might just be a relationship to learn from, whatever is the case, when you started dating her, you made a promise to treat her well regardless of the outcome of the relationship. If you DO decide to ignore all the advice given here about leaving the french girl, please make sure you talk to the new girl first and own up instead of going around her back. Though of course, knowing the kind of person you are, I doubt you would ever sink to that low :)

Also, even if the French girl has commitment issues, 6 years is way too long to keep that going. If she hasn’t improved in that much time, I don’t see much scope. You also mentioned the new girl deserves the best guy in the world and you are trying to be that. It’s good that you feel this way, because wanting to be better for someone shows that you care about the relationship. You had 6 years with the other girl, you now owe it to yourself to figure out how the relationship with this new girl plays out. Good luck and keep up updated on how things turn out.

@Marina
Yes, she’ll be gone, and the new girl, she’ll be gone to :(
I don’t know why this situations chase me everywhere I go, of course I won’t do the same thing to anyone, I’ll do what’s correct, what a gentleman is supposed to do :)

@PnL
:) Thank you for your answer and the approach you had on this issue, yes, 6 years is too much time, u r right… :( it’s hard, u know what I mean (I’m sure of it)

@flameboi Great response. I gave you lurve. You mentioned this is the first time in the six years that you have been dating someone when your jeune fille came home. No, you say the girl you are dating is also a summer girl. Should you take a look inward to see if you are only attracted to girls who are not permanently available?

The new girl is just a summer girl too? What?

@PnL From flameboi’s response to me. “and the new girl, she’ll be gone to :(”

@ Marina and PnL
I don’t see her as a summer girl, I know she is leaving in a few weeks…
Is not that I’m only atracted to girls who are not permanently available, is just that whenever I find a good person, she has to leave so I try not to commit to anyone.
The other girls just date somebody else at my back, or lie to me, u know, usual stuff… I don’t want to give up on love, but mysterious forces are pushing me to do so :S maybe it’s just bad karma or something like that… and thank you for the lurve :)

Boy, flameboi, you and I are relationship twins, it seems. My biggest problem with girls in the past has been the distance issue.. I always seem to find the ones that don’t live near me or are moving or whatever. It’s tough. :(

I would say that three or four years of summertimes might be enough. You didn’t really need to wait to end the French one by meeting someone else. It seems that French relationship didn’t have enough legs to stand on its own It is so difficult to end a relationship, especially with someone you care about, but that’s the kind of strength that is needed to get through life altogether. Might as well start here.

@PnL & Marina, I think what he meant by “the new one will be gone too” is that if he dumps her to date frenchy, then she will be gone. I took it that way anyway. My two cents. Good advice from you two as always.

weigh out the advantages and disadvantages of both relationship and the likely hood of long term commitment, and make a decision and stick with it. This is what being a man is about: Research, decision making, and standing by your decisions. There will be risks either way you decide, but you can’t decide both ways.

So….all this advice, I have you talk to her yet?? We must know.

@all!
Thank you for the advice, from all of you, it’s been really helpuful (i love the collective)
I’ve been thinking about this the whole night (not to mention the french girl’s birthday is today) she text me this morning, she wants to see me, so now I know what I’m going to do, it’s time for the happy ending (my happy ending). I know It’s going to be painful, that I’m going to suffer but I think is the best for me. She had six years to something and I did all I could, its time to step aside and keep going.

drop the French girl like a bad habit.

Your girlfriend deserves you 100% in the relationship.

French girl has commitment issues don’t fall in the same category as her.

Knowingly that you will suffer some emotional pain for ending it makes you brave.

@AtSeDaEsEpPoAoSnA (it’s a long nickname)
Thank you, I guess it will make me stroger after all :)

@ninjaxmarc
Never saw it as “commitment issues” great approach, thanks!

No problem and good luck, and the names “As deep as a teaspoon”.

Just in case you didn’t see it.