General Question

yankeetooter's avatar

Earlier today, someone made this statement to me..."If your friend is mad at you, then he is not your friend." Huh? Can there be any truth behind this?

Asked by yankeetooter (9651points) February 10th, 2015

Don’t people sometimes get mad at people they care about/are friends with? Is this person talking nonsense, or is there truth to what they said? What do you think?

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23 Answers

longgone's avatar

In my opinion, that is complete nonsense.

sahID's avatar

To quote Spock from Star Trek: “Captain, that statement is most illogical.”

Frankly, that person sounds awfully shallow to me. Besides, friendships in particular, and human interpersonal relationships in general are too complex for any general statements like that to have any validity.

yankeetooter's avatar

I think so too, @longgone. As someone’s friend, if they do something that irks me, I try to understand where they’re coming from…and I am quick to forgive, but I just couldn’t figure out this person saying this.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Complete utter bull crap,you can be mad at someone and still be their friend my wife gets mad at me from time to time and still loves ,as I with her.
I can disagree with a friend and they are still my friend.

marinelife's avatar

It takes caring and feelings to be mad. Arguments are a part of friendships.

zenvelo's avatar

It’s only your friends and relatives that can get really mad at you.

Coloma's avatar

Yes, complete BS.
Stuffing your feelings in any relationship is unhealthy, it is not about the absence of conflict but how it gets handled. If you feel you have to conceal your feelings from a friend that is what makes it a non-friendship.

CWOTUS's avatar

Welllll … as a generalized statement about “all friends” and “all anger” it’s complete nonsense. However, if “a friend” were to manufacture an outrage, as we know some people can, and if that “friend” were to then extort promises or concessions from you based on the fake “outrage”, and hold it over your head forever, etc. then that person may not be a “good friend” (or may have pathological tendencies that should cause you to watch your back with them). Because we’re all imperfect, and we all get angry at different things and stay angry for varying lengths of time, it’s too ridiculously general to say that “a friend will never be angry with you”. That’s insane.

flo's avatar

He/she might have been talking considering a specific circumstance, not generally?

josie's avatar

Total bullshit.
People get mad at one another as a matter of human experience.
It is normal and inevitable.
The measure of friendship is how you manage the moments when you “get mad” at one another.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

It’s nonsense. Friends can get mad with each other. They’re not clones. If you have a relationship with a person, you’re going to have disagreements. A disagreement doesn’t mean you can’t be friends or even lovers. I agree with @josie that the measure of the friendship is in how you manage those disagreements.

flo's avatar

@yankeetooter Did you tell him/her of an incident and he/she said “A friend wouldn’t say that or do that or is mad at you for that” kind of thing?

yankeetooter's avatar

No…didn’t tell them specifics at all.

Mariah's avatar

That’s stupid. Even someone I’m friends with can wrong me. And I get angry when I am wronged. Who says that?

Brian1946's avatar

@Mariah “Who says that?” A member of the McAss family? ;-)

BevinDorm's avatar

I think that is quite silly actually. The person obviously got hurt somewhere by a friend that did something. A friendship to me is similar to a relationship you will have with a parent/sibling/partner, there might be times they do something, or you do something that makes the other mad, but it doesn’t make them less of a friend/partner or family member. You work through the problem and get over it, done.

A friend that sleeps with your partner, is not your friend. A friend that would lie to you constantly over and over again, is not your friend. But a friend that is mad at you is just a mad friend.

Unbroken's avatar

A friend is someone you can be mad at express that argue and still know ya’ll will end up alright

CWOTUS's avatar

The other other thread, I mean.

flo's avatar

@yankeetooter What brought that statement about? I’m dying to know. What happened just before he/said that?

yankeetooter's avatar

I said that my friend’s demeanor the one day I saw him made me wonder if he was mad at me over something. Then this person made the above statement. ..

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Perhaps it was just a throw away line @yankeetooter? Sometimes people say things and they don’t intend them to be taken too seriously. Is that possible?

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