Why did he get really angry?

Depends on what kind of relationship the two of you have ageed on. Is it a FWB agreement? You could have avoided blurting that out unless you wanted a reaction from him so you can draw your conclusions.

….Don’t talk to guys you are sleeping with about other guys you are potentially sleeping with. Unless you are intentionally trying to make them jealous, it is pointless.

Do you want more from this guy? How interested are you in the other guy?
The only time I have ever done something like this is to intentionally piss off guy a. for purposes of good hate sex, haha!

My former fiance once told me, no guy wants to think about another guy sticking it in you. Together or not, when you are having sex with someone, you are theirs. Guys get territorial, even if its only for the few minutes after sex when their knees are still weak. ;)

Even if you are just his friend, it’s not appropriate. You’re basically telling him that there is a chance whatever IS going on between you is going to end, or that you’re going to be sleeping with both of them (Don’t go there….). Which frankly, assuming the sex is good, no one wants to share or lose their f**k buddy.

Because there’s a human attached to the penis you’re using.

“Friends” don’t have sex, only solid I’m-seeing-only-you,-you-are-seeing-only-me BFs and GFs. He thinks you’re his girlfriend, so he’s mad that you might be hooking up, physically, with another “friend.”

Is this the guy you are having sex with?

@chyna No.

He’s pissed because you have a big mouth.

What possessed you to decide to mention the date with Guy-2 to Guy-1?

With all respect, @dopeguru , this one is all your fault for not thinking before opening your trap.

@elbanditoroso Because we are friends! Didn’t think it’d matter if we fucked or not.

I think if you want to have sex with multiple people, that is your business. Whether it is with friends or strangers, you do need to keep it to yourself. I also hope you are using protection. It would be wrong to spread disease to all of your partners.

” I happen to be a ‘trickster’ ”. That skill doesn’t seem to be helping you.

@chyna I’m not having sex with multiple people at once. I’d stop having sex with one when I start with another, if that were the case. This friend reassured me he’d never be with me and he doesn’t like me, but acting like this after we sleep together is confusing to me. If he had mentioned going on a date, thats his business and I wouldn’t have the right to be angry as I don’t like him beyond having fun in and around the bedroom.

Why would you sleep with someone who reassures you that 1) he’d never be with you and 2) he doesn’t like you?

What every one else said. It’s a primate instinct for men to get angry at the idea of you being with someone else physically. They want to be the one to pass on their DNA, not some other guy.
Gosh, if you’re old enough to have sex you should know this by now.
Don’t do it again.

@gailcalled Because I want to have sex with that person? Its perfect if neither have feelings.

It has nothing to do with feelings. It has to do with DNA.

@Dutchess_III You’re right…

So don’t do it again.

It certainly doesn’t sound as though this guy doesn’t have feelings. “He got very angry.”

(Not my idea of perfection.)

You didn’t answer if you were using protection. Are you?
I’m curious. How many partners have you had?

@chyna I only slept with 2 people in my entire life and all with protection.

(In my experience, it’s a lot more fun when you’re with someone you love.)

You really seem all over the place in the relationship department and very immature IMHO. I’m ntosure if you are using men to get sex or sex to get men but whatever it is doesn’t seem to be making you happy.

Because people are often not honest about how they really feel. And because some people don’t actually know how they really feel.

What @ucme said times a million.

It’s your prerogative if you want to sleep around, but have some tact! It’s best to avoid talking to guys you sleep with or date about other guys you may potentially sleep with or date. Come on now. Even if he doesn’t want a relationship with you, he’s still a person.

Lets put the shoe on the other foot. Honestly, how would you feel if he rolled out of bed, just having had sex with you, and said he was going to leave now to hook up with another chick?

@Dutchess_III I wouldn’t care, and I’d be happy to hear about the girl and make sure she is decent.

Hmmm. That’s not what you said here. You actually said I’d assume it’d be painful after sleeping with someone to see them get with others and move on, even if you two knew you wouldn’t be together.
You have very conflicting responses.

@chyna Right, that’d be painful. Not if he told me about them and still kept seeing me. I suppose thats why I said what I said. I’d feel bad to drop him suddenly if I find someone I want to be with. Its better to let him know as it is happening. It can prepare him, and perhaps make him distance himself slowly. That’s what I’d want to hear.

If you are not in a committed relationship (and he was the one who said he didn’t want to be in a committed relationship), then you did nothing wrong. It could mean that he has changed his mind and does have feelings about you or it could mean that he is just controlling – he doesn’t want you, but doesn’t want anyone else to have you either.

If I were having casual sex with someone, I would rather they talk about other women rather than there be an awkwardness around where’s he going, what’s he’s doing, etc.

@Gabby101 Yes. The last thing you said is exactly what happens with him and I find it uncomfortable. I don’t want to question him because he hates that, so I’m left wondering. But then, when I openly tell him what I’m doing, I become the guilty one.

To be honest with you, he is being stupid. He tells me all these mean things and how he would never want me and then asks me about who I’m texting and if its a guy or girl randomly, and gets mad when I mention a date after we hangout. In my head I made up its just casual, but then he is being stupid.

Maybe because it’s really rude to talk to the guy you are sleeping with about someone else you might/have/or will be sleeping with also.
It’s just kinda disgusting….condoms aren’t effective against everything.

O prudish Fluther!

@cheebdragon It depends on their original agreement – if they agreed to be open about who else they were sleeping with, then he’s not sharing enough. If they agreed ever to talk about it, then she’s oversharing.

But regardless of which is true, @dopeguru you should hash it out with the guy. Neither of you is living up to the other’s expectations. Figure it out, and not by asking complete strangers on the internet – because they will spend more time judging you for having and enjoying sex than actually trying to answer your question.

@cheebdragon Better to do it behind his back?

Do it any way you want it. Sloppy seconds comes to mind….

@Dutchess_III This is getting sexual.

BHA HA HA! It is???

If you both agreed to an open relationship, the knowledge is out there so there is no need to hide anything, but there certainly isn’t a reason to chat about it either.
Think of it like this….someone says their stomach hurts, that’s enough knowledge for most. If they go on to say that it has given them explosive diarrhea or projectile vomiting, that’s just too much information that no one wants to hear.

Its almost just common sense, so it gives the appearance that you may have been trying to flaunt it and make him jealous. I’m not saying that’s what you did, I’m just saying that from a 3rd party unbiased POV, it could easily look that way.

@cheebdragon Those details can make one act accordingly and not get too caught up. Stomachache sounds bad, but not until you hear it causes vomit that you realise how bad it can be. So if he was seeing someone else, i’d slowly distance myself which would be healthier. If he didn’t tell me about it, and suddenly tells me and leaves me i’d be devastated.

If you wouldnt be sleeping with them both, why would it even matter? You said he wouldnt date you but that you were friends, the easiest and least hurtful way would have been to just stop fucking him, if the friendship was strong enough to hold up without the sex part.

I don’t understand the “he says he doesn’t like me and would never be with me” and then having sex with someone who says that. OK, so you don’t like me and will never want to be with me but now you want to fuck me?

@jca Low self esteem?

People are making some valid points, but the judgment needs to stop. Who cares if she sleeps with someone that doesn’t want to be with her if it’s also what she wants? Some people like casual sex. Not everyone has to like casual sex, but don’t judge someone just because they do.

Its not that she’s having casual sex, it’s that she is having casual sex with Someone who said they wouldn’t date her. No judgement passed, just a little worry, that’s all.

Prudish? Hahaha !! Judging?
For my part, all I did was answer the question as asked, he got angry because he’s only human, displayed emotion.

@ucme I wasn’t talking about you – I GAd your answer. I was talking about the people who are acting like it’s such a horrible thing for a person to sleep with someone if neither one of them wants a relationship out of it.

@DrasticDreamer Yeah well, it’s Fluther, whaddya expect ;-}

@DrasticDreamer, I haven’t responded to this question. However, I suspect people’s concern is the OP’s history with this man. If it’s the same man, he said he didn’t want to be with her, he didn’t like her. She’s asked a stream of questions about this man and she wrote that she loved him. She’s been repeatedly advised to let him be. That she’d get hurt. She continued to ask a number of questions about why he won’t have sex with her and it sounds as though she’s finally persuaded him to do just that.

I don’t think people’s dismay is that she’s being promiscuous as much as on one hand she’s desperate for this man to have sex with her because her ego is hurt and then she’s messing with his head by telling him she’s going on a date with someone else. I got the impression he has held out on having sex with her because he didn’t want to take things further and he thought she was a bit of a “trickster” whatever that means. To push him to have sex with her when he was reluctant and then to tell him she’s off to see someone else seems pretty cruel to me rather than promiscuous, not to mention silly if she really does care about him.

@Earthbound_Misfit Yes, if it is the same guy, I can definitely see the concern. I think someone asked if it was the same person in this thread, though, and she said it wasn’t. That’s why I did try to point out that some people were making some good points (because I do agree that telling someone you’re sleeping with that you might go on another date is rather odd, if not completely thoughtless [unless it’s been absolutely established that the person really wouldn’t care either way – but clearly that’s not the case, hence the question].)

I was mainly just talking about the comments that were asking why anyone would want to sleep with someone simply because the other person made it clear they didn’t want a relationship. Lots of people have casual sex these days.

I wasn’t judging. I was indicating curiosity. I don’t get it (as indicated above, with 3 “good answers” at present). One thing I can assure you that I’m not is prudish.

Just to make it clear, because I don’t want to unintentionally rub people the wrong way: I wasn’t trying to go on the attack, if that’s what it seemed like. Just reminding some people, because of how some of their comments came across, that two consenting people are just that – consenting. If I have to put my foot in my mouth because I interpreted comments incorrectly, that’s okay, too!

@DrasticDreamer, I think your comment was polite and reasonable. I don’t think you need to explain yourself.

@DrasticDreamer: I didn’t take what you wrote as an attack. It was polite and it wasn’t offensive.

Just to clarify what I wrote, my curiosity was not with having sex without a relationship.That happens often – I get it. It was more that the man seemed vehemently opposed to the OP, saying he doesn’t like her and wouldn’t be with her, which, to me, goes beyond not wanting a relationship. Even if it’s not the man she has been chasing around and asking about in previous questions here, the least one would expect from one that they have sex with is that they like each other (I would think), or at the very least, don’t dislike each other.

Keep your dudes separate from each other and don’t talk about them to each other. I’ve made the same mistake before—told one guy about another guy and asked for some input. I was much younger back then. I got the guy I talked to mad as hell.

The only difference between me and you is that as soon as I opened my mouth and heard myself talking, I realized I made a really bad mistake. I didn’t even try to defend my actions. It was just Oops all around.

Just out of curiosity, how would you feel if the situation were reversed?. Suppose the guy asked you about something related to a date that he was going on after coffee. Would this make you uncomfortable?

There is nothing wrong with having relations with more than one person at a time, but on the same night? If I just had sex with someone, even if it was very casual, I would like to think that it was sufficient for at least the rest of the day.

@LostInParadise Well, in her defense, she didn’t say she was going to have sex with the second guy. My concern for the OP is not that she is engaging in casual sex but that she is immature and seems to be manipulative and not clear of her own or anyone else’s motivation. (This is from reading all her posts and questions about guys.)

@LostInParadise

she said ” I wouldn’t care, and I’d be happy to hear about the girl and make sure she is decent.”

People almost always say they wouldn’t mind something if the tables were turned. I seriously doubt reality would play out that way.

I don’t think she wanted sex with the second guy. I don’t care. You DON’T talk to one guy about the other guy even if you were seeing him in a week and not later that night. It’s just rude.

Nice research @Earthbound_Misfit .

@LostInParadise Why dwell on these emotions when I know its only going to cause me pain if I do so?

You see, the thing is, sex with him doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t feel anything. I probably won’t do it again either after realising that.

So no, going on a date with a guy who would actually want to be with me after having sex with someone that doesn’t, seems okay. I am fast with my emotions. I don’t like… taking my time and being dragged from one place to another without knowing the end. I want to live a roller coaster a week, and then leave or be left.

So I can handle it easily. Its even better if its the same day.

@keobooks How come? Its rude to see someone behind another’s back! That is rude. Its very honest and caring to tell someone right away or as its happening. Thats what I’d expect from a guy, so thats what I do. Its worse to find it out when you’re too invested – it makes what you had seem delusive.

There may not be any point in your continuing to ask us questions since you seem to know what you want. If you want to know what the guy is thinking, the answer is simple – ask him.

It is “caring?” Apparently not.

Everything just said seems to be the exact opposite of it being just “casual”. You care that he doesn’t care enough to actually be with you.

YOU were asking why we thought he was angry. You reject every reasonable answer given because you insist you know better than we do. If you don’t trust anyone’s opinions here, why bother asking us? If you seem to know human nature so much better than anyone else here, how’d you get him mad in the first place?

How about this? Since every answer we give is wrong, just tell us what answer you want to see here so we can copy and paste it. Then you’ll finally get the right answer to your question.