Social Question

keobooks's avatar

Ever meet someone who was just mean for the sake of being mean?

Asked by keobooks (14296points) February 19th, 2015

Today I went to an almost empty strip mall parking lot. I parked close to the store I wanted and got out of the car. While I was unstrapping my daughter’s car seat, this guy attempted to park where I was standing. He honked the horn several times. This totally rattled me. Then he rolled down the window and shouted “Hurry the f——k up! I can’t park with your fat (butt) in my way!” This totally freaked me out. The parking lot was almost empty. There were more than plenty of spaces available, including one on the other side of my car. I was scared enough that I put 911 on my phone in case he tried anything. I got my daughter out of the car and he honked until I carried her out of the parking space.

I went into the store and watched him walk all the way to the other end of the strip mall. There were plenty of free spots where he ended up walking. It was 8 degrees F with a windchill of -15.

So for some reason, he wanted the ONLY parking space on the whole lot that he couldn’t get right away and it was nowhere near the store he wanted to enter. I think he was in the mood to be a jerk and parked right next to me as an excuse to rage.

I left after he was out of sight. He put a damper on the days’ errands.

Anyone else have any crazy experiences like this before?

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28 Answers

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Clearly the man was NOT in his right mind. Some people want to feel rush of power by bullying others. Had a man been with you at the time, be sure he would not have done that! Just the way people like that get a thrill out of their day.

talljasperman's avatar

My dad teased me and yelled at me for not performing well in school. I did the best with what I was given. I didn’t need the constant put downs.

Dutchess_III's avatar

That would have rattled me too @keobooks.

I once knew a mom who was mean to her kids. They’d ask if they could have a glass of milk with their dinner or something and she’d just snarl “No!” for absolutely no reason.

lillycoyote's avatar

That’s more than just being “mean.” That’s a little bit psycho. The fact that you reached for your phone in case you had to call 911 indicates it was more than someone “being mean just to be mean.” That being said, I don’t know what would motivate a man to do something like that to a complete stranger, to a woman with a baby.

And I’ve had a lot of weird things happen to me out and about in the world but nothing quite like that, someone, a stranger, directing that much rage at me and yes, it would have more than rattled. I have known people who were mean and petty pretty much just for sport. I’ve worked with people like that.

lillycoyote's avatar

Hey @Dutchess_III How’s it hangin” :-) It’s been a long time. Good to see you.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Good! I miss you!

lillycoyote's avatar

I’m fluthering in between gathering up my trash and recycling and taking it out for pick up tomorrow. It’s 10 degrees out there and of my approximately 7 pairs of gloves I can find only one left glove, I can’t even put together a mismatched pair. So I come in to warm up. We were supposed to get heavy winds but that hasn’t happened yet so that’s good at least.

Dutchess_III's avatar

And that’s why I miss you!

ibstubro's avatar

There is a man named Raymond that goes to auctions in the area, including ours.

24/7 he is spoiling for a fight. He’ll sit in other people’s (marked) chairs, block your way and challenge anyone in any passive/aggressive way he can.

Unfortunately, I’m not easily cowed. One day last summer I was at an auction and as Raymond went to walk past me, he paused, then shoved his shoulder into mine. Unprovoked…I was standing there talking to a friend. I called him out and he walked over, slammed his box on a table and came back to threaten to knock me on my ass. (He’s probably 25 years older than me, easy.) I looked him in the eye and said, “Go for it.” ”Sputter, sputter. Grouse, grouse.” I was willing to take the fall and, if the crowd didn’t beat the tar out of him first (a real possibility) swear out a complaint.

I’ve sworn that the next time he looks at me wrong at our auction, I’m going to throw him out and ban him.

CWOTUS's avatar

Sometimes what seems like “pure mean” really isn’t.

When my kids were younger I coached their rec soccer teams. Two kids, two teams. So between work, practices and four games a week I had my weekday and weekend “free time” pretty well accounted for in the springtime. In addition to working full time and coaching their teams, I was the commissioner of the league – with 6 age divisions, I-don’t-know-how-many separate teams and over 1200 kids from two towns. Yeah, that kept me busy.

So I didn’t have a lot of time for the individual coaching of each kid on my two teams that I would have liked. We’d run the practices, make sure the kids knew the game schedules and the rules appropriate for their age group, and move on. I did not understand why some kids would show up at every practice and every game … and seem to have zero interest in the game. Literally, some kids would be out on the field with a spirited game in progress around them, and they’d be picking wildflowers and weeds with kids charging and kicking all around them.

So I would frequently – AND LOUDLY – yell at them, directly at those kids at that time, across the field if need be, GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME. Because one of the rec league’s rules was that if kids showed up for practice and showed up for games, then they would play, regardless of skill. And I couldn’t break that rule. But I was afraid for these kids; they could have gotten hurt by not paying attention. (Yes, they could be hurt while playing too, but it somehow seems so much worse to catch a direct kick to the side of the head while not even paying attention.) So I yelled a lot at some kids. Perhaps I should have spoken to the parents instead and asked them why their kid was even showing up. Michigan had far better places to pick weeds and wildflowers than on our soccer pitch. But there they were, so there they “got” to play, whether I liked it or not. And I guess some of the parents might have been afraid of me … lol … me! I can be pretty loud, though, when the stakes seem high enough.

So though I may have sounded mean, the other kids on the team knew that it was just me caring a lot about kids who could be hurt.

Your guy sounds like someone who had it in for you personally, though. Who knows what gets into a wretch like that?

ibstubro's avatar

Oooh. Do I get another one?

When I worked in the food factory I once was on the line with a gal named Elaine.

Elaine wasn’t a pretty female. Large. As in overblown. XL features and bones, with spacey, somewhat protruding teeth. Talky, and always keeping track of what everyone else was doing. She appeared to believe herself pretty and popular. I sorta felt sorry for her, and was nice enough to her.

One day I was on the line next to Elaine. Probably me, her, and 6 other females. There was trouble brewing (no surprise) and I stood there and watched as Elaine intentionally pitted one of her line workers against the other. What I’ll never forget is when she turned toward me and there was a look of pure glee in her eyes. She was having the time of her life stirring shit among people she had to work with all day every day.

Evil. I never had any use for her after.

Coloma's avatar

Since you had your baby with you it is good you kept a low profile, however, had that been me I would have told that jerk where to get off. That happened to me once years ago when my daughter was about 10 months old. This store clerk went psycho on me.
I was holding my daughter, trying to get money out of my purse and I braced my knee against the bottom of the counter of this convenience store and accidentally ripped off some stupid promotional poster that was tacked up under the edge of the counter.

The clerk came unhinged!
I had picked up the poster and put it on the counter and said ” I’m sorry, this fell down” and he started calling me nasty names, all in a huff.
I was so shaken up that I backed into another car in the parking lot. No damage done but I was extremely traumatized by this asshole.

I called the store manager the next day and told him what had happened, and that clerk was gone the next time I went into that establishment.
Some people are just grievances LOOKING for a cause. Sounds like your encounter.
Oooh man….had I witnessed that little unfolding I would have been all over that dickhead.

How DARE a man assault a woman with a baby. He would have gotten all 5’3 inches and 116 lbs. of my wrath. I would have called the cops on the spot and had him confronted by someone that was more his size and obviously more of a man that little weenie.
Stories like this infuriate me!

Dutchess_III's avatar

My ex-husband threatened to drop kick me in the face when I was holding our week old baby.

Coloma's avatar

@Dutchess_III Oooh. how awful! Ugh!

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yeah. Big reason he was my ex. always playing macho, but never perceiving the lines between macho and abusive.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Some people just get a kick out of being assholes, for some reason it makes them feel good.

jca's avatar

About 5 years ago I was going to Walmart. I saw a woman who had 3 kids crossing the drive between the parking lot headed into the store. She was holding the hands of 2 of the kids, and one kid was holding the hand of the 3rd kid. So it was one woman, 3 kids, all holding hands, crossing. Some guy came along in his car and honked at them! That, to me, was mean and hard to comprehend.

livelaughlove21's avatar

I would’ve flipped that asshole the bird and stayed right where I was. I guess having a kid with you changes things, but that guy would’ve gotten an earful from this girl. If he got any more belligerent, someone would have to call the cops on my ass. How stupid.

Of course I’ve met people that were mean for no reason. I went to high school.

thorninmud's avatar

A few years back I was walking along a crowded sidewalk in Paris. Ahead of me was an old man shuffling forward with the aid of a walking cane. I was in no hurry, so I just followed at his pace.

Our little procession eased up alongside a little cluster of young women talking among themselves. Suddenly, for absolutely no reason that I could see, the old man reared back with his cane and let fly at the legs of the women with all his strength. He got in about three good licks, never saying a word, then shuffled on along. Everyone was in a state of complete shock.

ibstubro's avatar

You did the best you could, @keobooks. Sorry it ruined your day, but you didn’t have a lot of choice having the baby and it being 8°. Without the baby or in milder weather I would have just taken my time with the door open until he drove off. Then I probably would have packed myself back in the car and gone on about my errands in a different order.

Although I’ve never instigated a game of chicken, I don’t recall ever having lost one.
>:-p

And, you know, dialing 911 on your phone and being obvious about if can be a deterrent. Don’t be sly about it…be bold. I mean, what’s the asshole going to do? You might have even dialed…said you were being verbally accosted in the parking lot and you wanted to record his license number in case it escalated. If I got wound up, it’s not impossible that I would dial 911, give the license information and hold the phone up for the other driver and say, “It’s 911, did you have something you wanted to say to them.?”

Long story I’ve told here before, but one day at the Goodwill a man butted in line, saying, “Here, my dog’s in the truck.”
Cashier, “Sir, I have a line.”
Ass, “I only have one item.”
I move up behind him in line and say, “So, what, you didn’t know your dog was in the truck when you came in the store?”
Ass, “I only have one item.”
Me, ”And I only have two!”
Cashier got a kick out of it as he all but ran for the door.

Someone need to call them out on assness occasionally, or it just gets bolder and bolder.

Pachy's avatar

I don’t know whether I have or not, because flawed human being as I am, how can I truly know or judge the reason(s) for what I perceive as another human being’s meanness?

ucme's avatar

If I did, they were long since obliterated from my mind, ain’t got the time or energy to waste on shitehawks.

keobooks's avatar

I would never play chicken as a pedestrian to a crazy guy in a car. I think this guy was crazy enough to call my bluff and at least try to bump me. But if you guys are in the same situation, let me know how it goes. My guess is @ibsturbo would be the only one that could pull it off!

ibstubro's avatar

Maybe!

Funny, the last time I saw Raymond was in Walmart. He was in a motorized scooter cart. Apparently he saw me before I saw him and came racing out of the aisle into the midway in front of me. I think he thought he was going to give me a scare, but instead missed me by at least 3 feet (I didn’t even see him until he was passed me). The only reason he didn’t ram into a woman’s cart is that she physically picked her end of it up and moved it out of his way. He didn’t say a word, or even look back. About 6 people were standing there wondering what was up with the old nut. One woman said, “I would have let him hit me!”
I said ”ME TOO!” and wandered off.

There are a lot of nuts in the small town Midwest, and most of them seem to gravitate to re-sale. So far, we’ve managed to not ban anyone from the auction after 7–8 years.

keobooks's avatar

For some reason, your talking about the auction house so much reminded me of when I was a kid. We lived in this small town that had an auction every other week or so (I can’t remember how often it was. I was age 7–9 at the time) My parents would go and so would many of my friends’ parents. Our parents gave us 2 – 3 dollars to bid with and the only rule my mom had was “no stuffed animals” (she was afraid they’d have lice or mold or other things we couldn’t clean up without destroying the stuffed animal)

Anyway, you wouldn’t think 2 – 3 dollars would buy much, but we almost always came home with a big box of books or tinker toys or something like that. Not many people bid on the lots full of random toys. The best thing I ever got was a real working microscope that came with a bunch of slides. (parents bid on that for me. I think we got it for 10 bucks)

I kind of miss the auction house. My grandfather went almost weekly to estate auctions. It was fun but it wasn’t quite the same.

ibstubro's avatar

You might have bought bargains, too, @keobooks. Traditionally I won’t bid against anyone under 18, unless they’re obviously bidding for someone else.
I started going to auctions when I was 13, and I’m returning the favors of many who let me buy stuff cheap.

I can hardly go to an auction and not come away with something. Consequently, I have nearly given up auctions. lol Look around. They’re exploding in popularity right now – bound to be one in your area. We have 5–6 auction houses within a 30–40 mile radius.

Dutchess_III's avatar

And now for my auction story and the really mean lady who stole my stuff

And now for my bad auction story. OK, there were a couple of vintage metal fruit trays. One was shaped vaguely like a pear and one like an apple, kind of art deco and really cool. Sort of like the one pictured below. I’ve tried to stop collecting “things” but they were so neat I decided to bid up to $10 for them.

The auctioneer, Danny, was at the end of a long cafeteria table, and his helpers, Mary and Jane were on either side of the table. Mary and Jane were in charge of moving stuff to the center of the table as they got to them. They were also in charge of keeping an eye on bidders that Danny might not be able to see at the back of the crowd. (if you’ve never been to a casual auction, we don’t sit in chairs like they do in the movies. We all just crowd around the tables and crowd around everything else.) When Mary and Jane saw you bid, by making eye contact and catching your moves, they holler “HUP!!” The fruit trays were about half way down the table.

We finally got to bidding on the trays. I was bidding against another lady at the end of the table where Danny was. There was this lady (aka The Witch) standing in front of me, right in front of the trays.

I bid up to $6.00, with Danny, Mary and and Jane, all three, fielding my bids. I know this because we were all making eye contact. Then the other lady gave up.
Danny said, “Sold for $6.00! What’s your number Val?”
I said, “94! Same number it’s been all day, Danny!!”

Then the Witch in front of me picked up the fruit trays. I assumed she was going to pass them back to me, but instead she just stood there. Slowly it became clear that somehow she thought she’d won the trays….but no one even knew she was bidding, IF she even was.
Danny, Mary and Jane, in fact the whole crowd started staring at her. When it became clear she was claiming the trays, Danny, Mary and Jane kept saying “We didn’t have you. We had Val. Val won the trays!”
The Witch said something like, “Well, they’re mine because no one went to $7.00!”
Danny, Mary and Jane said, “But you weren’t bidding! We had Val at $6.00!”
The Witch said, “I WAS bidding!”
The auctioneers said, “We didn’t see you at all. We had Val!”
The Witch didn’t say anything, just stood there, stiff and glaring.
Danny said, “Well, should we start over?”
It was my call. I just threw up my hands and shook my head. Now, this is one of those, “I wish I had done it differently,” moments. ****Details below.****

The entire crowd was just shocked. The Witch stood there for a second, and I thought it suddenly came perfectly clear to her that she had LOST. She turned and I thought she was going to hand me the trays. But when I reached for them she snatched her arms away and glared it me and walked on. Danny had to holler, twice, as she was walking away, “WHAT IS YOUR NUMBER??”
Finally she snarled, “103!!”

I turned back and looked at Mary in disbelief. She locked eyes with me, staring intently. She was trying to tell me something. I’m pretty sure it was, “Go hit the bitch over the head with the riding mower you just bought and take the trays back!” But she couldn’t say that, so we just stared at each other for a second, until I just shook my head and dropped my eyes.

******************* What I wish I had done differently.**********

I wish I had said, “Yeah! Lets start it over, at $6.00. I’ll go $7.00!”
I would have turned it into a pissin’ match and run that Witch up to $100.00 then
A) dropped out and stuck her with the bill or
B) kept going. I’m sure as I can be that even if I’d run it up to $50,000.00 Danny and Co. would have gone with me, then made sure I actually only paid $6.00. Hell, the whole crowd would have bid against The Witch to make DAMN sure she didn’t get them!

Some people are just disgusting, and I hope she sees this somehow.

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