How can you know the difference between love and ego?

Asked by dopeguru (1928

) February 22nd, 2015

I’ve been confused for the past year about relationships. I don’t know whether it is love or ego thats in place.

They say you feel it when you are in love but I think its way more complex than that. Personally at least it has been.

I was involved with someone who seemed to be concerned about his ego more than anything.
If he is rejected, he’d think he loves the person. If he is under control, he could let go. If things aren’t going well for his ego, he’d break up brutally in means to regain his ‘power’ and save his ego.
It seems like a relationship can be a constant transition between love and ego. Meaning, between gaining power/saving ego and being vulnerable/lack of power (which in that state feeling ‘love’ for the other person).

My guess is that this person lacks confidence/esteem so much that ‘love’ becomes this shattered thing; a game. However, we always seem to play it in our dating lives whether consciously or not. Waiting a while before texting, pretending to be busy when they reach out, etc. These little acts are saviours of power which gives us safety/security. If you are left in the end of this kind of relationship, it means they did it to win or regain the power for good.

So is this what a love relationship essentially could be like for most people?

Observing members: 0

Composing members: 0

6 Answers

People in an enduring love relationship don’t play games.

gailcalled (54644

)“Great Answer” (7

) Flag as…

Only when you have known real love can you know the difference. Some people want to be in love so think so. Some people want to be in love to be accepted socially. Some people think they are in love and convince themselves that they are so. But some “love” is merely infatuation, or pure lust, the love of sex. I knew a guy years ago who have been married for almost 20 years. When he met a new love after his divorce, he realized that he hadn’t really been in love with the first wife, and knew it to be so when he and the new love went their separate ways.

kritiper (25757

)“Great Answer” (1

) Flag as…

Love is the opposite of what you describe. If you’re in love with the person, you don’t jealously guard your own power.

dappled_leaves (15893

)“Great Answer” (2

) Flag as…

When love is real the happiness of the person one loves is at least as important as one’s own happiness and part of their happiness comes from adding to the loved one’s happiness. Insecure people seek control to create an illusion of security. Their consciousness is focus more on themselves than on another. When one finds that they are emotionally more mature than the person they are in a relationship with, they should end the relationship.

Bill1939 (10755

)“Great Answer” (1

) Flag as…

When one loves another in order to “give Love” more than receive it.
Finding someone to Love wholeheartedly is more important than being loved.
In loving another without conditions that one is loved back , one knows Love.
In loving another one is really loving themselves mirroed back onto oneself.
My opinion.

Inspired_2write (14486

)“Great Answer” (2

) Flag as…