General Question

teatime's avatar

Should I break up with my boyfriend of 3 years to see other people?

Asked by teatime (3points) July 15th, 2008

My boyfriend is great and has never done anything to hurt me, but we met when I was 19 and we have been together for over 3 years. I am curious about dating other guys, but I know that my boyfriend is against it. What should I do?

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20 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

Take advice from a group of complete strangers who know nothing about you and your boyfriend?

emt333's avatar

stay with your boyfriend

SilentlyLogical's avatar

I dunno… Somethings fishy here… He’s a great guy and yet you want to leave…

TheHaight's avatar

If you want to date other guys, do it. There’s your answer. I don’t know you or your background with your relationship.. But it seems to me that you want your cake and you want to eat it too, because you said ”“he’s against it” yet your curious.

marinelife's avatar

Just think through what is most important to you. It is understandable that you would want to experience more than one guy you have been seeing since you were 19.

What you have to weigh that against is that your curiosity and subsequent exploration may cost you any future relationship with your boyfriend. There is no right answer; there is only what feels right for you.

Frankly, if your boyfriend was “the one”, I doubt you would be feeling like checking out the other fish in the sea after only three years.

andrew's avatar

@gailcalled: Ironically, a complete group of strangers is easier to take advice from… there’s a sense of objectivity.

gailcalled's avatar

When it is advice about cats, I agree. My love life, perhaps not.

marinelife's avatar

@gc You been holding out on us, baby?

@andrew You are absolutely right. I have a great idea. Let’s create a Web site on which people can ask questions of complete strangers. Oh, wait, you did that already.

eadinad's avatar

You never need a better reason to leave than, “I want to leave.”

Unless perhaps you’re married.

yetanother's avatar


busy Friday?

Zaku's avatar

If your boyfriend is against it because he’s serious about your relationship (which would be my guess, but just a guess), and you’re talking this way about it, that seems like a big disconnect in the expectations about the relationship and what you are each making it mean and not mean. Sounds like he could be in a position to get hurt or upset. And, sounds like you two could do with some more open communication about the whole thing.

qashqai's avatar

I know I am going to say something many people will consider as cynical or disenchanting, but I think the problem there lies in the fact they got together at the age of 19.
Nothing wrong with it, but then don’t be surprised you want to look around looking for new experiences, because that is quite natural for your age, I assume.
At 19 you cannot be mature enough to hold a long relationship while both of you are growing (and potentially going into separate directions). Are you? Lucky then!

JH's avatar

There’s always someone better out there.

wildflower's avatar

I suppose it comes down to what’s more important: Doing what you want to or not hurting your boyfriend.

jamzzy's avatar

dont leave.

flameboi's avatar

If he is a great guy, stay with him until you feel you deserve a better person in your life, not because you just want to experiment with other guys…

ninjaxmarc's avatar

weigh out that you may lose the best thing in your life if you say he’s a great guy.

My gf cheated on me because of this reason, she wanted to experiment, she lost my trust and I could not forgive her so I went my own way.

Make sure you won’t regret your decision.

skfinkel's avatar

I think that if you are asking this question, the answer is already there. You want to date people. You need to break up with your boyfriend, nice as he is, and be by yourself for awhile. Then, start dating. In a year or two or five, see where you are. You might want to go back to your boyfriend. After he has been dating as well, he might want to go back to you too. Or maybe you will have really moved on.

scamp's avatar

I agree with skfinkel. Tell your boyfriend you want to take a break and date other people. if he is the one for you, you will find each other again. If not, you may be missing out on the one who is.

jesslovesjess's avatar

I got with my boyfriend when I was 18 and we were together for 2 years, I felt the same way, and so I broke it off. There were also things in the raltionship I was unhappy with. I was a bit further in life experiences and he was a baby, I felt like his mother. So I enjoyed meeting new people and I really got a handle on what qualites were most impotant to me in a guy. I wound up going back to my ex out of habit and comfort…and the circumstances hadn’t changed….They say they have changed but they never do. I am single again at 21 and REALLY enjoying my independent life. It took a while to adjust to not having him there…but after a while you start to forget about it and get caught up in your new life. I say….break it off and give yourself time to grow, experience and find out who you really are. In a few years if he is the best you’ve ever had….who knows you maybe able to rekindle the flame. But TRUST ME…you dont want to wind up resenting him for taking up yor youth and for keeping you from living independently. you have too much changing left to do

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