Social Question

chinchin31's avatar

Is it just me or is mankind as a whole becoming more rude everyday?

Asked by chinchin31 (1783points) April 10th, 2015

I just feel like a lot of people don’t think before they speak.

The older I get , the more I notice it and sometimes it makes me sick.

A lot of people just seem to lack sensitivity to other people’s feelings. They think they know everything , they make assumptions about you, they instruct you as to how you should live your life, they judge you when they know little about your background or life. Often they are also so arrogant in their ignorance and stupidity.

How do you deal with this?

Most of the time I ignore such people but there are so many of them that I just have to give people a piece of my mind sometimes.

What are your thoughts and experiences?

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22 Answers

hominid's avatar

@chinchin31: “The older I get , the more I notice”

Don’t mistake your expanding awareness of human behavior as indicative of a change in human behavior. It’s quite possible that you are just tuned in more to something you were not in the past.

Also, this is not my experience. Sure, people are not as sensitive and know very little. But we all are. In fact, you may be basing your conclusions here on experiences you’ve had with people whom you know almost nothing about. I’ve used this example before because it’s a clear reminder to me that I have no idea what is going on: the guy who sits next to me in my office will get yelled at by clients (he’s a project manager). They’ll accuse him of neglecting them or not considering their needs. What these clients don’t know, however, is that a few years ago, his son (9th grade) was murdered in school by a kid who wanted to feel what it was like to kill someone. His son just happened to be there.

My point is – we are all going through our own struggles, and we don’t always advertise them. They get expressed in rudeness and insensitivity. In my opinion, the antidote to this insensitivity and behavior is more compassion. I try not to take things personally. When someone snaps at me and think they know everything, I assume that they are just like me: going through serious struggles, and attempting to make sense of the world.

yankeetooter's avatar

It’s not just you…

janbb's avatar

@hominid That goes along with the quote I try to follow,“Be kind for everyone you know is fighting a great battle.”

Dutchess_III's avatar

Sure seems like it to me too. There was a question on Quora that said, “What should I do if a stranger yells at me on the street?” The asker didn’t offer any specifics.
One answer was “Flip them off.”

flutherother's avatar

I would say the reverse may be true and people are less rude to each other than when I was growing up half a century ago. I think people nowadays have more respect for one another than they did then and any negative thoughts they will keep to themselves as it is not socially acceptable to express them. I’m thinking of homophobic and racist remarks and comments levelled at anyone seen to be different. I don’t hear these comments expressed openly the way they once were.

Dutchess_III's avatar

We’re more tolerant of differences, but it seems to me that in our every day lives we are treating others more rudely.

Berserker's avatar

I’ll take that over living anywhere that’s 100 years ago or more.

Mariah's avatar

It is also my experience that aggression is increasing. I feel like I have to walk around on my tiptoes just to avoid pissing off anybody in my day-to-day life, lately.

Dutchess_III's avatar

People post aggressive things on FB and it becomes like an epidemic. Worse, people take it into their real lives.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

It is understandable why you feel this way. Many of us have felt the same way at some point. What we’ve found is that there are ways to not only cope but deal with it in an effective manner.

@hominid‘s suggestion is an effective starting point. If you find yourself in this type of situation, take a step back and look at it objectively. It provides a chance to cool down and then deal with it in an effective manner.

I can’t say that ‘compassion’ is the right, or at least starting point, in addressing this type of situation. That comes from understanding a person’s situation. This is not something we are privy to nor should be in every circumstance. It’s more about good ol’ communication. If delivered in the right manner, it opens doors.

All that we can do is to set an example for others in our words and actions. It takes much more time and patience, but if practiced, it might make a difference in the long run.

With that said, I do think that there has been a slight change in rudeness over the years, at least in the US. My theory is that it is due to several factors.

#1. Technology. The internet exposes us to all kinds of information. It’s easy to find info that supports our beliefs, even if it is factually untrue. The social way humans communicate has shifted from personal interaction to tech-based. How can one hold an effective exchange of information through txts, and FB posts?

#2. America’s work lifestyle. How many US citizens have a job where they don’t work long hours and with very little time off? How many feel inundated by the amount of work on their plate? From what I have witnessed, US citizens are more likely to lead a work-centered lifestyle which impacts their personal life, and thus, many being short-tempered.

Maybe it is that all of the above factors fit together like a jigsaw puzzle forming a picture of today’s society, or at least the ones who are cranky on a regular basis.

JLeslie's avatar

I think stress is a big contributor and a faster pace.

Also, we are more open in our culture now than in the past.

Another, is how self absorbed people can be. More now than in the past.

Lastly, I think people don’t treat others with as much respect as back in the day, whether the respect was false or not.

However, I don’t think rudeness is exceedingly bad. I think the majority of people aren’t rude most of the time, and care about treating others with respect.

hominid's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer: “I can’t say that ‘compassion’ is the right, or at least starting point, in addressing this type of situation. That comes from understanding a person’s situation. This is not something we are privy to nor should be in every circumstance”

I didn’t mean that we I see situational-compassion as appropriate. Rather, we do know a few things about every single person: they suffer, they experience loss, they die, and they are just as lost as we are. We don’t really need to know more.

For example, in the case of my coworker who is dealing with the murder of his son (and the trial, etc) – when taken in context, it seems that compassion is the right approach. It helps us by freeing us from getting caught in anger and resentment, and it allows us to tolerate his occasional flakiness or rude comments. Now, if it’s ok to allow ourselves to approach interactions with him with compassion while knowing his situation, what’s wrong with doing the same without knowing his situation? We don’t need to know anything about him in order to allow ourselves to be free from anger and resentment. We don’t need to know anything to not tell ourselves stories about what he may and may not have gone through.

So, the compassion I refer to is towards ourselves and others. We recognize how it feels to get caught up in resentment and anger, and when we see clearly, we understand that nothing positive comes from it. We also know that whatever is or isn’t going on in the other person’s life, it’s possible to approach the situation with at least an attempt at compassion. One thing is clear: if someone is being an asshole, they are suffering in some way. And we can all relate to that.

Apparently_Im_The_Grumpy_One's avatar

People suck – they always have and they always will. I’m an asshole too.

Blondesjon's avatar

Rude only exists if you care.

gorillapaws's avatar

I can’t imagine what life must have been like for a “person of color” living in the southern US prior to the civil rights movement. When I watch episodes of Mad Men and see how women were treated back then, it’s shocking. I think that means we’ve come a hell-of-a-long way.

kritiper's avatar

I’ve noticed this too. I joking wonder if it’s something in the water! Maybe we all need another knock down, drag out war to bring us all together, like during WWII. Probably just a sign that, as a civilization, we’re on our way out!

ucme's avatar

One man’s rude is another man’s…err, hobby?

JLeslie's avatar

@chinchin31 Where do you live?

zenzen's avatar

Oh shut up.

rojo's avatar

It just means you are getting older and are more prone to notice it. The younger you are the more self-absorbed you are.

Coloma's avatar

I absolutely think there are more disturbed people than ever before by sheer numbers alone. The more people the more crazy and rude and volatile along with the increased survival stress of these times.
I had a minor altercation with a women in the grocery store the other day.
It was a very busy afternoon in the market, every checkout had 3 or 4 people in line.
The women in front of me abandoned her cart without asking if anyone would keep an eye on it or, if she was not back in a minute feel free to go ahead. basic consideration IMO.

The person in front of me was down to her last few items at the checkout, I looked around and saw nobody coming back for the cart in front of me, I joked with the women behind me that if the person was not back in another minute or so I figured they have forfeited their place in line.
The women behind me agreed and we moved the basket out of the way and I began to load my groceries on the conveyor. I was almost done and by this time a good 5–6 minutes had passed when the women returned and had a fit.
She walked up and said ” That is MY cart and I was in line!”

I replied ” I’m sorry but you were gone for a long time and so you forfeited your place in line.”
She came unglued and said “well, I can see what kind of person you are!” lol
I turned around and firmly told her ” I think you need to take your own advice, you did not ASK anyone if they would watch your cart, or tell them to go ahead if you were delayed, you can SEE how busy this place is here today AND ( turning to the other woman I was talking with ) we both agreed, given how long you were gone, that you had forfeited your place in line.” She had nothing more to say but was, clearly pissed off! haha

Talk about a sense of entitlement and self absorbtion!

Dutchess_III's avatar

One time a call went out over the loud speaker at the grocery store. It said, “Buy one donuts, get 2 more free!”
I thought a donut would be a neat and very rare treat for my 3 kids, so I headed to the bakery department.
By the time I got there the display cases were absolutely flooded with apparently ravenous people who, apparently, hadn’t eaten in a week and who, without exception, were obese. They decimated the supply of donuts, grabbing bags full at a time.
Several of us were patiently waiting our turn, when it became obvious we weren’t going to get a turn. The guy next to me finally said, loudly enough for all to hear, “Well, I guess some people need them much more than others.”
That kind of broke up the greed fest and the fat people kind of started wandering away, but not before throwing nasty looks over their shoulder at the guy who made the comment.
There was nothing left to choose from.

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