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Inconito101's avatar

Thoughts on this; my friend just died?

Asked by Inconito101 (402points) April 11th, 2015 from iPhone

Good afternoon all,

One of my friend comitted suicide this week and since she went back to her country up North last year, she will be buried there even if she lived here all her life and was planing on coming back next month. One of her best girl called me to talk about it and near the end of conversation she spoke about wanting to do something here for her closest friends. All in all (i wont say we were bestfriend because we didnt speak all the times but she was sweet to me and we chilled sometimes.) Even thought I felt numb at first when I heard the news, I felt as if her actions gave me strenght. What I need advice in is I helped planned almost half the thing(i found the bird releasing company for when this would get done and all) but I feel like my friend is talking to me about the event as if Im not going. Its kinda messed up because im positive if because 2 of the girls attending( which i dont speak with anymore) because of unconcious self sentered controlled by ego behaviours have led me to distance myself from them. And it really made them mad. Im positive they have told my girl to not let me go and she following as usual. When just hang up and I was almost going to ask if I’m coming or not but I stopped myself. It’s crazy how people do yoj a certain way then get mad when you leave and other people always be on their side. It’s so unfair.. :( Even if we didnt talk everyday I still felt like I wanted to be present and give her a few words.

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8 Answers

janbb's avatar

If you want to go to the funeral and can make it, don’t let anyone else’s opinion stop you.

josie's avatar

I can sympathize. I have lost more friends than I am comfortable counting. It sucks.

Inconito101's avatar

The thing is this funeral is about her and i want anything to happen like them saying things or instigating a reaction from me. And even though i would be part of it just the fact that they would be saying things to me i would look like the one ruining it. @janbb

Inconito101's avatar

Im so sorry to hear that, it crazy how we all go through the same things differentaly. If we comunicate and help each other more we could maybe overcome this by knowing we are not alone. @josie love & light

chyna's avatar

Go to the funeral. Don’t worry what those girls think or say. It’s about your deceased friend and everyone should come together to pay respects to her and for just that one hour or so, stop thinking about themselves.

kritiper's avatar

Gather your friends together for a wake after the funeral. It’s what I would want.

susanc's avatar

No one needs to be invited to a memorial service or funeral. You go there to honor the dead.
Let those girls do what they need to do – you do what you need to do. Focus and grieve and accept our condolences.
So sorry.

Inconito101's avatar

The thing is the actual funeral is in Quebec and we(her friends loves in Montreal) soits one of her friend organizing a little something here to say last goodbyes, i need to know where and when so I cant really go like that @chyna @kritiper @susanc

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