General Question

LuckyGuy's avatar

May I wear a gold pin on the collar of an Indian Kurta at an Indian wedding?

Asked by LuckyGuy (39627points) April 27th, 2015

My son is marrying an Indian woman in what is expected to be a mid to large sized Indian wedding. Her family has supplied us with new clothes which were tailored to fit perfectly. I know I am supposed to have “gold bling” but I’m not a jewelry person. I do have a very nice gold pin with a diamond and 2 small rubies that represents a well respected service award. It would look great on the collar of the kurta (not unlike this photo of J L Picard . I do not want to offend anyone. I already know which colors are good and bad and will follow the rules, but have seen nothing on this subject.
Would a single pin in this location be ok?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

16 Answers

Darth_Algar's avatar

Would not a better idea be to ask them? How are we to know what may or may not offend them?

gailcalled's avatar

“Indian” wedding covers a lot of various rituals. I had a young friend who was named Singh and therefore a Sikh, and was married in a red sarong.

However, gold bling is gold bling, isn’t it? Asking them would relieve you of any anxiety.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Kudos for embracing another culture and having the class to ask this question. 20 GQ’s

cazzie's avatar

I was very curious about this myself. After looking at dozens of pictures, it looks like pins are attached to the breast pocket and not the collar. Like this:

LuckyGuy's avatar

I was hoping some of our Indian participants would see this question and answer before posting a typical message and being deleted.

I have avoided asking too many questions. I don’t want to appear as ignorant as I really am. They all have things going on and shouldn’t have to worry about us. We are paying the travel and hotel expenses for our side of the family, thus the other question I asked a few days ago.. My job is make sure our side gets there and arrives on time.
We have been watching Bollywood wedding movies fully aware that they are not documentaries. But they have been helpful. Plus the bride kindly sent us some reference material so we can learn.

This will be an interesting experience.

janbb's avatar

Have you watched “Monsoon Wedding”? Not Bollywood and very interesting depiction of an Indian family and wedding .

LuckyGuy's avatar

@janbb Yes. I saw that. The translation/captions was very useful. I was a bit saddened that in their culture they consider their daughter as being given to me. In Western culture “A son is a son until he takes a wife. But a daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life.”

I am supposedly taking this burden off her father’s hands. She’s a Ph.D aerospace engineer for Pete’s sake!
Culture sure is interesting.

snowberry's avatar

@LuckyGuy Wow. Well if he’s “giving” her to you, don’t “sell” her for any price! LOL!

janbb's avatar

I think there’s a lot of difference between what a culture professes to believe in and what individuals actually practice often but I guess weddings often bring out the traditionalist in many.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@snowberry If she is mine I am going to lock her in a room with 3 high end computers, AutoCad 3D, CadSoft EAGLE PCB design software, and some acoustic transducer simulations and slip plates of Vindaloo & Rogan Josh under the door every few hours to keep her head clear.

Her parents are the ones pushing for traditional wedding. They are inviting many people from the “old country”.

She is wonderful, by the way.

janbb's avatar

So the wedding is in the States?

LuckyGuy's avatar

Yes. The wedding is in the US. In hot, steamy Florida.

janbb's avatar

Monsoon wedding!

jca's avatar

Make sure you collect the dowry.

Buttonstc's avatar

If it’s bling that’s called for, why not go to a hip hop shopping site and get two or three heavy gold rapper chains?


But seriously, the pin you mentioned sounds just perfect. Why not start out with it on the breast pocket and then quietly snag the fist knowledeable person you encounter at the event and quickly ask if it would also be acceptable on the collar?

This way, it’s just a quick little check rather than a bunch of emails and making a major thing out of it.

Anyhow, that’s my two cents.

Have a great time.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther