Social Question

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

What might my SIL mean?

Asked by Pied_Pfeffer (27408points) April 27th, 2015

My SIL just posted photos of her two young grandsons on FB looking happy while swinging at a playground. The caption reads, “We all love a sick day at the park.”

I asked, “I don’t understand. Is one of the boys sick?” Her response was, “actually both are sick. Preschools do other not so nice things besides teaching.”

I have no idea how to interpret this response. She is highly sensitive, so I am asking the collective to help me understand what the circumstances she is alluding to might be before responding. Or, should I just drop it?

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27 Answers

Dutchess_III's avatar

I think she’s saying they both got sick at preschool.

talljasperman's avatar

I think she I saying that they need a day off and she is sick of school.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Either they were slighty unwell but not too sick to go the park or they took the day off “sick” to avoid a virus going round at school. Your best bet would be to say Hope you had fun and take care.

Judi's avatar

Maybe not that young, but my kids would occasionally take a “mental health” day. Maybe they had an extra stressful day and she just wanted to stay with them the next day. It’s pre school. That’s when it’s easy to make that choice.

marinelife's avatar

Why not send her a message asking just what happened?

fluthernutter's avatar

I would interpret it as they’re both kind of sick (and caught it from their preschool).

But if she’s complaining about the germs that kids get at school, why is she bringing them to a park when they’re sick?

Kardamom's avatar

I’m guessing that they caught something at the school. They probably have the sniffles, so technically they are sick, but not necessarily feeling poorly at all. Some schools will send the kids home at the first sign of the sniffles so as not to infect any other kids. It appears that they were not feeling sick, but they were probably sent home, so she took them to the park.

Blackberry's avatar

The kids got sick at school.

talljasperman's avatar

I think the kids got sick of school. Not at.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

For those saying that the grandsons got sick at school, I’m having trouble believing this unless it is a clear cut case of a specific virus. How does anyone know the specific source of where they picked up a virus unless it is researched?

What is not so nice about sending a sick child home? It is probably policy. It may prevent other children from becoming infected. If the SIL’s issue is about sending a child with a common cold home, it is understandable for the reason that many parents/guardians might have to take a day off from work without pay. Both she and her daughter do not have a paying job. The SIL does some volunteer work and the daughter is a full-time housewife. Both have flexible schedules.

@ZEPHYRA Your best bet would be to say Hope you had fun and take care. This is most likely what the SIL wants to hear. My personality doesn’t want to leave it at that. What are these other ‘things’ that preschools are doing that are not so nice? As much as I support doing unto those that want done unto them, there comes a time where one needs to take a stance, if only for the sake of clarity.

Thanks @marinelife. This is the best way to attempt to resolve the lingering question.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

I sent a private message. Here is the response. “Lol. There are more viruses and germs and diseases in preschools than in any other place on earth !”

Dutchess_III's avatar

The problem is when you have herds of kids together they swap spit and all kinds of stuff all day long! They also don’t have their immunities built up, so that may be somewhat true. However, I’m pretty sure a hospital would come in #1.

geeky_mama's avatar

Another possibility is that the pre-school doesn’t allow kids to attend when they have certain (minor) illnesses like pink-eye, a cold or fever. Doesn’t mean the kids aren’t able to play…but probably means mom (your SIL) had to take a day off of work. Or, the teacher was sick and pre-school canceled for the day.

Or…her company allows her unlimited sick days – but not vacation. So, she called in “sick” and enjoyed the unusually nice weather with her kids. Not something I would do (and certainly wouldn’t post it on FB!)—but as our company has unlimited sick days, I’m sure there are some parents who’ve done this…

ibstubro's avatar

Here is the problem:
“My SIL just posted…”

You’re not communicating. You’re posting and texting. There is no nuance, inflection, or emotion.
Neither of you really gives a crap about the conversation, or it would have taken place in real time with as much sensual interaction as possible.
In short, drama.

Call her on that?

flutherother's avatar

I don’t think the boys are sick. I think your SIL has kept them from school because something has happened there that has upset her. Anyway I would give her a call to find out what is going on.

Coloma's avatar

My interpretation was the kids are a little sick from being exposed to the herd of little germ mongers called children. She took the to the park briefly and posted the picture. Yes, just ask her…” Oh, are the boys sick, is there something going around at school?”

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@All. Thanks for chiming in. Just to clarify; the SIL is the grandmother. Neither she nor the mother work. The SIL is known for being overly-dramatic sensitive, so getting the facts takes time and effort. I don’t know what it’s like to be a parent, especially one in today’s times. This is why I am asking for assistance.

Since the last post, I asked the SIL if I could ask my niece, a medical doctor who specializes in pediatric diseases, if she could explain it. Her response was, “Children get sick at that age b/c their immune system hasn’t built up immunity yet. The bacteria and viruses are all over surfaces everywhere.”

The next post from the SIL says, “Also, when parents decide not to vaccinate their children, other kids pay the price. Most times in preschool.” This statement begged for clarification.

It boils down to one of the boys having strep throat four times in the last two months. The mother refuses to give her son antibiotics because it will weaken his immune system. Correct me if this is wrong, but there aren’t any vaccinations to prevent strep throat. It is contagious. If this is true, I don’t understand why anyone with it wouldn’t stay at home, or require their child to, vs. going to a playground where other people might catch it.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I hate over-dramatic people. They just need to be teleported back to the Great Depression so they can get their shit into perspective.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

My apology for not clarifying in in the last post. The Dr. niece is the one who responded, “Children get sick…”

@Dutchess_III Yeah, it drains the energy out of me. Maybe part of the reason she is this way is due to being one of eight children. To her credit, she is a good mother and has many friends.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I have an over dramatic DIL. It’s all I can do to not choke her sometimes!

Coloma's avatar

Count me in too with the overly sensitive/drama haters club. Gah!
I know someone like that, just the other day we were on the phone and all of a sudden she shrieks ” OH NO, OMG, OH NO!” Like something extremely serious was happening, she saw a couple ANTS in her kitchen.

OMG! Call 911! lol

Dutchess_III's avatar

Makes me want to pull someone’s hair out. Why do some people, and it seems to be mostly woman, act like that?

geeky_mama's avatar

Seriously? Strep throat is painful! Why in the world would the mother refuse to have her child have antibiotics? Also, because strep can be either bacterial or viral there is no immunization! It’s not the other pre-schoolers’ parents fault! Their child is probably having recurring bouts of strep because they aren’t treating it.

Actually, the self-righteous SIL and mother are more likely the CAUSE of this problem.. see this link: “If your children seem to be passing strep throat around more frequently, one or more of them might be carriers of strep throat. A carrier harbors strep bacteria in his or her throat but does not have symptoms. Carriers are capable of passing strep to others. Treating carriers with antibiotics can eradicate the bacteria from their throats and help break this cycle of re-infection. Occasionally, children who get repeated strep infections year after year might need to have their tonsils removed.”—per Dr. Sears

I actually do have AMR (antibiotic resistance) and I can assure you (because my doctors assured me) it came from having a depressed immune system and multiple hospitalizations, not an overabundance of taking antibiotics over the years.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Thanks for the info., including the link.

In a later point in the conversation, the SIL clarified: “They (meaning young children in general) have very weak immune systems. Others like in our case (meaning the current situation at the boy’s school) refuse to give their children antibiotics. I don’t blame them completely because in large amounts weaken your immune system even more. However, things like strep throat doesn’t get better until treated with them. Even though Charlie has gone through the treatments, he’s gotten strep 4 times in less than two months and the school is going through a state of emergency. We’ve been lucky, other kids are gravely ill.”

I had to read it a couple of times in order to realize that the SIL’s daughter is having the boys take antibiotics. It still seems bothersome that they would be allowed to go to the playground if there was still a risk that they could spread germs.

fluthernutter's avatar

It still seems bothersome that they would be allowed to go to the playground if there was still a risk that they could spread germs.

Yeah. Definitely not cool.

jca's avatar

I’m surprised the school lets kids come there when they have things like strep throat.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@jca As am I, but who knows if that is really the case and what is actually happening.

You all are hearing this from me who is hearing it from my SIL (who has a reputation for over-reacting) who is hearing it from her daughter, who may not have the full story from the school.

Now that we know it is strep throat and that some parents are unwilling to have their child take antibiotics, as well as it is contagious, my questions have been answered.

Thank you all for providing information and recommendations on how to broach the subject with the SIL. I care about her enough to sincerely show empathy when it is deserved. It’s made difficult when there is a habit of the facts being exaggerated or not true.

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