Send to a Friend

Esedess's avatar

Should I kick this house-guest out or give her a 2nd chance?

Asked by Esedess (3467points) May 7th, 2015

A friend of mine was going to school out of state for 2 years and just recently came back. Her decision to return early was, in short, due to loneliness, depression, and suicidal thoughts that resulted in one half-hearted attempt to drown herself. Before coming back, she had asked if she could stay with me for a month while she found a place of her own. After talking to my roommate, we cautiously agreed that a temporary house guest (including her dog) would be ok. We have an extra room we don’t use and as long as the dogs get along it should be fine.. So she showed up Monday, and things have been ok~. It’s been moderately imposing having an unfamiliar guest to get used to, but that was expected and we’re making do.

Jump to last night. 3 days into her stay.
I come home late from work to find her COMPLETELY smashed. She can barely stand/talk, but somehow manages to get out that she took some mystery pill a friend gave her, and didn’t know it would fuck her up like it did. While walking through the house I start noticing blood here and there. A little on the bathroom door, some on the kitchen doorway and wall, some in the dishwasher, etc… The trashcan from my bathroom is upside down in the living room with its previous contents scattered on the carpet around it. After checking her, I find dry blood on her pinky finger that came from a small paper-cut sized wound that obviously went unnoticed. Soon after, I find a shard of glass on the kitchen floor, and then the remains of the nice crystal wine glass it belonged to in the trash outside. A new small bottle of Jack Daniels I bought Monday is nowhere to be found; and a previously untouched bottle of my roommate’s vodka is sitting in the cabinet ¾ empty. Some other oddities: the few dirty clothes scattered throughout my room had been messily folded and placed on my bed, and my roommate’s door, which he closed on purpose to keep his dog from trying to mark his territory, is open. Just then my roommate comes home and we find that there’s traces of blood throughout his room as well, including on 2 of his pillows…

To summarize what I now think happened: She took a pill, drank a shit ton, started cleaning, broke a glass because she was fucking wasted, cut herself and didn’t notice, then continued stumbling about cleaning and tracking blood everywhere.
In her defense, she had good intentions. She was obviously trying to clean. But at the same time, now I look like a fucking asshole and my roommate is probably, rightfully, pissed at me for bringing this burdensome mess into his life… We’ve been living together for over a year and have had ZERO problems. It’s the first living arrangement either of us have had that has gone so smoothly. We are both calm, responsible guys, who keep a pretty clean house, take care of our pets and belongings, and maintain a generally peaceful lifestyle. Now I feel obligated to kick her out just for the sake of mine and my roommates friendship/peace of mind. But even as pissed as I am, I want to help her, and I’m not a “no 2nd chances” kind of guy…

That being said… It’s ridiculous that I’m even having to worry about this! She’s an adult HUMAN, and leaving her home alone for 1 day has caused more damage than leaving our fucking dog home alone everyday for a whole GD year!! I let a friend come stay rent free for a month, as an act of kindness so she can get her feet on the ground, and she costs me money!?

What if she had tried to cook? What if she set the house on fire? What if she let my roommates dog out and it ran away? What if she broke either of our two 90 gallon fishtanks? What if she fucking killed herself?

This morning she was adequately apologetic, and promised it wouldn’t happen again.

But what do I do now? Straight up kick her out, or give her 1 more chance?

I haven’t talked to my roommate about it yet… I’m not looking forward to it.

Using Fluther

or

Using Email

Separate multiple emails with commas.
We’ll only use these emails for this message.