Is it true love or fake to love someone up to the point of blank then you no longer love them, but despise them?

A woman scorn. ... is frightening. Very painful.

True love is sticking together even when you hate each other.

Unless the hate remains 24/7. Then, it’s time to do some thinking.

^ True love is sticking together even when you hate each other.
How does one go from ”I cannot live without you, I would die for you” to ”I cannot stand him/her, I wish she/he would get hit by a bus and be out of my life!”. If it was within three years of getting together and the ”honeymoon period” passes, I can chalk it up as intense lust, but after 12, 15, 25 years? How can you invest that much love only to throw it all away because of a blunder no matter how big? Was the person just managing all that time with shallow as grass root love, but it truly had no substance? That makes a lie of ”Love conquers all”.

“You make me cum”
“You make me complete”
“You make me completely miserable”
Three steps.

Love could be defined in SO many ways. TRUE LOVE, the real deal, is all encompassing. Total. Some people think they are in love because they want so much to be in love. I met a divorced man once who said he had been in love with his wife through 20 years of marriage, but didn’t realize how much he could love until he met one very special woman after his divorce. But love can turn to loathing if the person of their love turns out to be something other than what they thought initially.

It’s one of those things you’ll never nail down simply because each individual’s definition, reaction, perception, etc. is different. Matching up is a very tricky business and the ever rising divorce rates are almost certainly responsible for the steep decline in marital homicides.

Most people get in a relationship that’s ‘comfortable’ and is not even about love.

Like a couple that breaks up and the girl starts dating a guy she likes, but the boy hooks up with a girl that he really isn’t into, but he does it so he’s not alone.

Another instance is when a couple break up or divorce and the man moves on and the woman gets into a relationship with a guy she’s not in love with, but settles for less because he has money.

Only get with a person who loves you as much as you love them. Then it will last. <Should.

I believe my love is almost limitless. (well unless the person becomes a child murderer or rapist) Love doesn’t mean you have to lose all sense of morality. If I was Hitlers mother, I would’ve wanted to shoot him and myself for raising a monster. I mean. How do you love a monster. I know some people do. But at that point the person doesn’t love the other person. They are just mentally defective. Loving someone shouldn’t mean that you become mental.

I think people sometimes take actions and words and assume you mean you love them when you only mean to show compassion or caring.

There are a small handful of people I love. I mean truly love. The rest. I care about. I hate it when people assume I love them or easily toss out that they love me, when I know that their definition of love and mine are not the same.

Love and hate go hand in hand. People can grow to hate each other. It doesn’t mean that they never loved each other. It means that they let a bunch of small cancers grow until it killed them both.

The trick to a long lasting loving marriage is to treat each cancer growth as it comes along. Don’t let it get out of control. But both have to be willing to make it work. Many times it doesn’t work because one person may just be a little too much in love with their own needs than their partners. It doesn’t mean that there was never any love. Just that one person is selfish and the other person probably thought that would change.

@Pandora I believe my love is almost limitless. (well unless the person becomes a child murderer or rapist) Love doesn’t mean you have to lose all sense of morality.
If love is incumbent of morality, it is already on a slippery slope. You can love someone but hate their actions; people do that with their children often. You have certain things, the aforementioned crimes, but I am sure there is more on the list. You might hate that a person became a bigamist, but the act is enough to make you turn off all the good they brought to you, the compassion, love, tenderness, etc.?

I mean. How do you love a monster.
One man’s monster is another man’s beloved. One loves who you see as a monster because the parameters on what makes a monster are different from you both. Some people can separate the act, from the person. I say again, people do it all the time with children, and even pets. If one’s beloved dog of 7 years for whatever reason attacked a toddler at a BBQ mauling the child badly, the owners rarely instantly hate the dog and want to see it destroyed, With pets and children people seem to be more forgiving and easier to separate the act from the child or the pet.

You’d have to define, “fake love.” At twenty, I was beyond positive it was true love that would last forever. At forty, I felt hatred. Now it’s just dislike and disinterest.
A person can kill love. If they’re mean enough and abusive and hurtful they can kill the love the other felt for them .

@Hypocrisy_Central I actually understand a person still loving their dog. A dog doesn’t understand morality or really understand right from wrong. So how can you fault it. But a grown person. Yes. And what you realize when the person turns out to be a monster is that you never really knew that person. You loved the person you were fooled into loving. You love the memory of the innocence you once loved. And although you can separate action from the person, what people do and say everyday is what you love about them. You don’t love someone because they simply breathe the air you breathe. You love the little things they do for you, or how they make you feel about yourself. Love doesn’t materialize out of thin air. If it did. Then we would love people all over the world equally.
So no. I do not see it as a slippery slope. We each should present our true selves to each other or you endanger the love you create. My husband knew all the good and the bad about me before we married. That is who he fell in love with and that is the basis of the person I am still.

We all change along the way but no one changes into a monster. They always were a monster and always will be. Being a murderer or pedophile is a long way from someone who is a shop lifter for example. Or even someone who murdered someone to protect someones life or their own. So can you truly love someone who never showed who they really are?

@Pandora I actually understand a person still loving their dog. A dog doesn’t understand morality or really understand right from wrong. So how can you fault it.
Still, is love to be linked with morality and take the lead position? A person may know the difference between lawful, not lawful, right from wrong, but because they don’t act on the wrong they should be loved but if they act on the wrong knowing it is wrong, then they should be hated? It still comes back to what right and wrong one views, and if the action is the person. Women marry mobsters knowing what they do, for all the compassion, love, etc. mobsters can show to those they like and love, they can be bloody ruthless to those who cross them.

But a grown person. Yes. And what you realize when the person turns out to be a monster is that you never really knew that person. You loved the person you were fooled into loving.
Women who got together with mobster and gangstas often know what activity their man did, and in some, that is the draw. In many cases the other person doesn’t fall into your definition as the monster, they may develop a taste for shooting dogs, or other wild life, or setting huge fires, who a person was at 20 could change at 45, it doesn’t mean they were fooling anyone at age 20 it was just a shift in attitude or emotion for whatever reason.

Love doesn’t materialize out of thin air.
A lot of people do just that (or they think they do), just for a very narrow band of people.

We each should present our true selves to each other or you endanger the love you create.
That is the process called courtship, which a lot of people basically bypass or clip so short as to not be effective in any usable way to know who you are with. No one is going to come out the gate and put all the junk from their closet on display as to be that transparent. They are not going to say, ”Oh, by the way while I am flipping through channels on the commercial break I sometimes break wind in a very smelly manner, just letting you know to expect that when we are viewing the tube together” I believe transparency comes but it takes years, many don’t wait that long, do they?

We all change along the way but no one changes into a monster. They always were a monster and always will be.
Well, that is subject to debate. Maybe one day science will determine that, if science does I hope society can live with the consequence of it. Brings to mind the ”Minority Report”, the thought that everyone who ends up in jail was going to end up there anyhow and if you can figure out who before they get there you can remove them from society because they are criminals lying dormant until something activates them.

Being a murderer or pedophile is a long way from someone who is a shop lifter for example. Or even someone who murdered someone to protect someones life or their own.
That again, depends on where one draws their line.

So can you truly love someone who never showed who they really are?
Unless I can get into someone’s head I will never know them completely. I hope I take the time for them to reveal who they are by work and deed more than lip service, but should I develop a love for them, then I do, I may hate something they did or do, but that doesn’t automatically cancel out the love and turn on the hate.

@Aster You’d have to define, “fake love.”
It might be different for many, but the best way I can define it is a shallow conditional love, predicated on what the giver gets back. If they person feels they are getting equal love back, they stay in love with the other, but if it feels one-sided, then they don’t. True love is that you love the other person if they never return the love and no matter what action they do, you can hate the act but still love the person. In short, a love one is in because they love the feeling of being in love, so if it is directed toward another it is actually to make them feel better first.

Love materializing out of thin air is usually a stalker or just hormones. That isn’t real love in either case. At least not my definition. As for people who marry mobsters knowing that person is a monster, than you are talking about a person with dependency issues. There are so many definitons as to what people call love. But true love. The one one that isn’t one sided. Where both of you get to be exactly who you are and you aren’t having to change your own morals to obligate them, is a different story.
The mobsters wife may be as morally corrupt as the mobster so she isn’t changing who she is. So her love and his may be genuine for each other. She doesn’t have to pretend or ignore her own morals to love the mobster. Or monster.

I, never said that a monster can’t love another monster. Have you never seen or met someone you thought was morally corrupt marry someone as morally corrupt and thought how perfect they are for each other. It happens. But I used pedophile as an example of someone who most normal people would have an issue ever loving. They are considered the lowest of society, along with child murderers.. Even in jails they are often murdered or worse.

@Pandora The mobsters wife may be as morally corrupt as the mobster so she isn’t changing who she is.
That makes it sound as if the Manson girls were really monsters in spite of their suburban upbringing or how upright and moral their parents were. They were monsters from the start and it just took Charles Manson, or someone else, to activate them. Whatever they felt, admiration, love, whatever, they felt it how that effected the crimes they did, who can say, but I don’t think they started out as psychopaths lying in the cut for someone to add water and activate like a Chia Pet.

But I used pedophile as an example of someone who most normal people would have an issue ever loving. They are considered the lowest of society, along with child murderers.. Even in jails they are often murdered or worse.
I got the gist of what you were getting at but it was unfruitful to go down that alley as other parts of the world view it differently. In the US and other industrialized nations people have been trained to have a mindset towards them, in another part of the world gay people can be seen with equal distain, in yet another part, a person of a different ethnicity can be seen with equal aversion. But, even that, you are saying a woman loves a man for 12 years then is accused of forcing some 13 year old girl to boink him in the locker room after swim practice where he coached she should automatically hate him? Then what happens if he is cleared, the girl was lying because he wasn’t letting her swim in the relay because she was not good enough, she is going to turn the love back on like a faucet?

Yes. You can automatically have loved kill. I adored and worshiped my older brother till he punch me in the chest. It wasn’t that he hit me and it hurt. I actually didn’t register the pain because what I felt at that moment was my heart being torn to threads. And then an anger and a hatred more profound than I ever felt. I felt the ultimate betrayal. I thought I could always count on him to never hurt me. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. My love for him never returned.

So yes. If someone I loved ever betrayed me by not sharing my most deepest moral values betrayed my trust and belief in them to be a good person. Than yes. I can turn it off like a faucet. I only try to surround myself with decent people who would never hurt anyone else. I do not associate myself with what I consider monsters. Love isn’t something that you get for nothing in return. Love is good and good cannot survive with someone who is bad.
My husband knows me inside and out. And before we got married I told him what will keep my love strong and what would kill it instantly.

Before my husband I dated a guy I was in love with. And even when he cheated I still was in love with him when I broke it off. It took a few years to get over him but I did. Why? Because first of all. I love me most. Everyone should love themselves most and then their partner and children. You only have one shot at life. And people should do what they need to do to make sure they live it the way they want. Doesn’t mean you don’t sacrifice for others or get greedy with your self love.

I was raised to believe, I matter. People use the word love loosely. Hatred comes with conditions and so does love. Hormones is not love. Chemistry is not love. And someone who fools you into believing they are not a monster when they are. Is not love. Real love is good and honest. Real love is not one way. Real love is only truly painful when someone is sick and or dying. Real love is joyous. I know, because even when I am angry or upset hateful words cannot come out of my mouth because I can never betray what I feel in my heart. For me to do that. I have to kill the love first.
Oh, and my first love. I wouldn’t say I hated him at first. Just felt like a fool. I figured I fooled myself into believing he felt the same. I despised him at first, when I broke it off, but with time, I forgave him and my heart just moved on. I didn’t hate him really. I just knew I wasn’t willing to be in a one sided love relationship. I deserved better.