Social Question

stevenb's avatar

Have you ever had a friend-ish person hit on you, even when they know you are married? What do you do?

Asked by stevenb (3821points) May 20th, 2015 from iPhone

I have a friend. She is sweet, funny, and really unlucky in love and life. She told me she had a crush on me. She knows my wife, family, etc. she has sent me photos, texted made physical suggestions. I’m at a loss. I like her as a friend but I love my wife and don’t want to get into trouble. I’ve tried to stop this girl but she is my own fatal attraction lady. Good thing I don’t have a rabbit.

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15 Answers

Blackberry's avatar

Just tell her you’ll give her the D one time and one time only, as long as she doesn’t say anything lol.

Just kidding, but make sure you tell your wife so she knows you have an aggressive admirer. That way if she does anything rash you won’t be blamed for it. Then I would send her email alluding to the fact that it’s not a big deal, but you would appreciate it if she backed off a little.

Jewel10's avatar

I heard a man telling a story of how he stopped to give a girl a ride. He was a happily married man, innocently giving this girl a ride. Down the road and into some conversation, this girl began to strip in the front seat of his truck.

He was in shock! He couldn’t believe what this girl was doing. She was tempting him and it fell on him like a ton of bricks.

He pulled over to the nearest stop and told her to get out. The whole time he struggled with the temptation she was offering.

Then he did an amazing thing. He was shaking, and made his way to a pay phone where he called his wife.

And he told her everything that just happened and how strong that temptation was that he felt toward this other girl. In tears he cried out to his wife. And his wife loved him and thanked him and encouraged him.

I always remember this man’s story and how brave he was and how much love he had for his wife to tell her everything that had happened and how close his life had nearly been ruined by one sexual escapade.

stevenb's avatar

Wow. Thanks Jewel10. Great answer.

Jewel10's avatar

It’s a true story. :)

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

I’ve told this story before on Fluther, so those that have seen it, bear with me…

When I was ~18, I met a man who was engaged. We worked together during the summer and a crush on him was formed. He eventually picked up on it. One day, he said, “You remind me of my sister. From now on, I’m going to call you ‘Little sis’ ” And he did. Once I knew where I stood with him, I got over it.

And yeah, give your wife a heads up.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Do let your wife know in case ms ‘sweet, funny and unlucky in love’ turns out to be ms ‘vindictive when faced with unrequited lust’.

I think you need to be blunt. She’s not really so sweet and funny. She knows you’re married. You’ve let her know you’re not interested, but she’s still trying to persuade you. She sounds selfish and self-absorbed. You owe her no kindness. You need to be straight and clear and leave no ambiguity. I don’t fancy you. I don’t want more from you than being a work colleague. If she’s only a friend, back away and avoid seeing her. Hopefully in time she’ll get over her crush on you.

jca's avatar

@stevenb: Are you sure you don’t flirt with her or say suggestive things?

stevenb's avatar

Jca, my wife says I flirt with people all of the time, but I don’t know. I always try to be kind and make people’s day better with a smile and a laugh, but I don’t try to flirt. I’m a bit awkward for that.

Silence04's avatar

Maybe she’s be interested in a threesome?

Dutchess_III's avatar

All the time. I politely rebuffed their advances. If they persisted, as your friend seems to be doing, I’d drop the “polite” part and tell them, in no uncertain terms, to STOP.

Darth_Algar's avatar

I’d ask them if they wanted to go get a motel room.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I agree with the others let your wife know what’s happening,and ask the friend politely to tone it down or you will be forced to not see her as much.

jca's avatar

@stevenb: Maybe the flirtation, as your wife describes it, comes across to this woman as something more, so she is reciprocating. Try to stop “flirting” with her and see if she backs off.

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