I get incredibly sad and lonely?

Im in my mid twenties and now realized the never ending cycle of similar things that constitues a lifetime. Im not satisfied as I feel melancholic, lonely and pretty contemplative most of the time. Tonight I thought of suicide and how rational it sounds. Honestly life is a neverending pain and my happinesses are surfacing my bittersweet emotions. I cant sleep because my thoughts keep me awake every day. I dont understand how people manage to get through life without suicide.

Am I too aware of a human to feel this way? I cry to the weather and I always feel nostalgia and longing. I am happy with small things but eventually i began to be too familiar to the cycle of life that i dont want to continue to drown in it anymore.

I feel alone and i try to do work but im alone at night. It seems like a distraction. I can not bear it.

I cant escape my past and how my relationships went through.

I tried theraphy but it wasnt helpful.

I feel like all this happens because Im too aware and lonely. Loneliness cant be cured, people always have negative intentions and they care for duty and themselves more than anything. Not being lonely is just an illusion.

I feel like im choking and drowning.

My question is am I stupid for feeling and thinking like this and whether you have some amazing solution to it?