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jca's avatar

Do you consider it to be an honor or a hassle to be asked to be in someone's wedding party (i.e. bridesmaid, Maid of Honor, etc.)?

Asked by jca (36043points) June 1st, 2015

Do you consider it an honor or a hassle to be asked to be in someone’s wedding party, for example the Maid of Honor, bridesmaid, etc.

Gentlemen, please feel free to ask your partners or wives for their opinion if you don’t already know.

This is not something that is a current issue for me, just curious what others feel. I will post my opinion later on.

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18 Answers

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

It would be a great honor. At the same time, it could turn out to be a serious hassle. It would depend upon what the expectations are. In my case, none of my friends and family members live close by, so it would be almost impossible to conduct the duties of a maid of honor, especially if it was a big wedding.

On a personal note, I felt very honored being asked to cut and serve cake at a niece’s wedding and to sign the wedding certificate as a witness for a friend and her husband. Those duties are preferable.

Coloma's avatar

Hassle, but I’m too old to really be asked to be in any weddings anymore.
I have one friend my age that might ask me if she ends up marrying the LT boyfriend one of these days.
I don’t care for weddings, I find marriage to be passe these days and the idea of committing to someone “forever” is not reality based 99.9% of the time.
The legal benefits are the only sound reason to marry IMO.

I find it hard to have to put on an excited, happy face for couples knowing that most likely they will be divorcing in the next 10 years. haha
I’m not cynical just realistic and at my age now I kind of find all the romantic hoopla nauseating. haha

Apparently_Im_The_Grumpy_One's avatar

It only sucks if the one asking you isnt really that close to you. Ive been the best man twice for people I really only knew from work. Having to give that “what a great couple” speech can get awkward internally.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

An honorary hassle that makes you smile while rolling your eyes secretly!

syz's avatar

I hate weddings. Hassle.

Darth_Algar's avatar

A hassle. Thankfully none of my friends like me well enough to ask.

Darth_Algar's avatar

Actually, more to the point probably none of my friends want my blunt mouth around when their woman is there (they all seem to have married domineering women, and me there saying something like “dude, you gonna take your balls out of her purse?” probably wouldn’t go over well for them). The one ceremony I have Best Man’ed at was my parents’ when they renewed their vows on their 35th anniversary (though I think the renewal was more of an excuse for mom to throw herself the wedding that she didn’t really get the first time around).

anniereborn's avatar

Well it’s both. I have been the maid of honor in two weddings. They were both small weddings in that I was the only bridesmaid. I was very close to both brides. I was honored and enjoyed it. There wasn’t all that much hassle.

kritiper's avatar

I would find it quite the honor to be asked to hold a shotgun, depending on whose daughter was gettin’ hitched and whose son I was asked to point the shotgun at.

ucme's avatar

I was a bridesmaid once, woulda gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids the fact I had to piss in a rose bush, revealing my twitching member to a shocked throng.

Zaku's avatar

Almost always an honor. Could also be a hassle, depending.

I considered it all honor when it happened to me.

Kardamom's avatar

Only if it was a very close friend, would I consider it to be an honor. If I wasn’t particularly close to the bride, I would consider it to be a convenience to her (probably wants lots of bridesmaids to make her look important). I would be weirded out to be asked to be in someone’s wedding if I wasn’t very close to them. Thankfully that has never happened to me, but one of my friends, who happens to be very pretty, was always getting asked to be in people’s weddings. I mean like 20 weddings! I think she was asked, because she was pretty and made the pictures look good. Most of these people didn’t have any un-attractive bridesmaids and they usually had a whole bunch of them, which is very weird to me. I have one best friend and about 3 close girl friends, but I’d probably only have my best friend if I ever did get married, as the Maid of Honor, and leave it at that. Also, I’d never force anyone to wear anything they didn’t like or feel comfortable in. Weddings, in my opinion, are about loving friends and family, not the “look” of the photos on Facebook.

JLeslie's avatar

The only time I was asked to be in a wedding party I turned it down. I didn’t understand it was an honor, I regret that. I was in my early twenties and had only been to 2 weddings before that. I was going to have to fly there, stay in a hotel, and the idea of paying for a dress and shoes seemed “not worth it.” I thought I’d rather give her a gift than where a dress I’d never pick out for myself. I look back and wish I had asked my mom to pay for the dress. Actually, she asked her parents to help pay and they said no, which I think is horrible to this day. Not for me, I hold no grudges, but how did they say no to her? They are middle class with definitely enough money to have put out another $100 towards the dress.

When I got married my husband couldn’t fathom asking people to pay for a specific dress, and I agreed right away and everyone wore whatever they wanted. Everyone chose black anyway, except his mom was in black and white and my grandmother in an animal
Print of all things, which she totally pulled off.

If I was asked today I would be honored, but still not happy about having to put out money for a dress and shoes I probably won’t wear again. Do I have to host a party? A bridal shower? For a close friend I’d love to, but if I were tight on money I would not be happy about the obligation to do it. I’d hope people would chip in. I’m not very keen on obligations put on others because someone is getting married.

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