Social Question

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Other than a quick message, I get that, why would you rather text than simply talk to whoever you are texting?

Asked by SQUEEKY2 (19407points) June 6th, 2015

For a quick note, and not to disturb someone at work, or very busy I do see texting has a place.
BUT why would you rather text someone in a full blown conversation, rather than just talk to them in your real voice?
That I do not understand, so please enlighten me.
Since we are social creatures wouldn’t our real voice be better than just a printed word?

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79 Answers

Aethelwine's avatar

I hate talking on the phone. Texts are convenient.

People wrote letters for many decades before there were phones. just saying

SQUEEKY2's avatar

But wouldn’t a lot of times a real voice be faster? than being distracted typing away at a micro key pad?
And as for letters, they didn’t carry on a full blown two way conversation in a letter.
Oh and I hate talking on the phone as well,but would still rather just talk and get off, then type away at a micro keypad that doesn’t seem very social since we are social creatures and all.

johnpowell's avatar

Just this morning my sister texted me about a somewhat complicated banking issue. I replied with a phone call. Texting would have taken forever. We sorted it with a phone call in 90 seconds.

I hate texting. Texting is great for when it is 4am and you want to let me know that you are drunk. I don’t care.

But vocal chords are great for getting real work done efficiently.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

^^^THANK YOU^^^ totally agree 10000% @johnpowell great answer.

dappled_leaves's avatar

Why not just call each of us individually and ask us?

cookieman's avatar

I agree with @jonsblond. I also hate chatting in the phone. Phone conversations tend to meander and drag on and, frankly, I don’t want to hear your voice most of the time.

For me it’s: talk in person > eMail > text > phone call

If I can’t see you face to face, then I’d prefer an eMail. It’s slow, deliberate, and more thoughtful (like letter writing). Then text for a shorter, slightly more immediate subject. Lastly and rarely, a phone call.

I rarely call anyone and, if you call me I’ll often cut past the pleasantries with, “So, what did you call for?” If there’s something specific to discuss, let’s get to it and be done. Otherwise, if it’s “No reason, just wanted to chat” or “say hi”, I’m quick to let you go.

Drives my wife nuts as she’s the exact opposite. Loves to chat on the phone. Thankfully she has other people to do that with.

jca's avatar

I prefer texting, email or pm’ing on FB rather than phone calls myself. A text can hang out on the phone until I have time to look at it, whether it’s immediately or in an hour or if I’m asleep, when I wake up. To call someone, knowing they want to have a big conversation, requires me thinking about when is good for me between work, commute, picking up my child, cooking for us, giving her dinner, eating dinner myself, getting her in the shower, making sure she does her homework. By then, on my regular work week, it’s often after 9 pm. The last thing I feel like doing then is having a phone conversation. At work, I have to think about what might be occurring at work that will distract me from the conversation. When calling someone, I also always think about what is a good time for them. Might they be sleeping? Might they be dealing with their own child care issues? Are they at work and busy and cannot really concentrate on a conversation.

To me, when I’m out and shopping or busy running errands, that’s not a time for a phone conversation either. I am not one to be on the phone when I’m at the cashier. When I’m on the phone with someone, I want to give them my attention as best as possible. I also don’t want to call someone when they’re running around busy because I know how it is and I don’t want to distract them.

There are few people I have phone conversations with, if I can help it. My mom, yes. A few friends, yes, but brief and more like “touching base” conversations. A good friend is now a hypochondriac and she wants to call for an hour about the most mundane shit (I understand to her it’s not mundane, it’s life threatening in her mind). I don’t have time for that and it’s become contentious a few times when she gets upset that I can’t spare an hour to hear about some tiny skin condition or her various doctor appointments. I’m sorry for that. She has no children, she is not married and she does not have a 2 hour round trip commute like I do. She knows I prefer texting and when she does want to have a conversation on the phone (which we will do about once a week), we almost have to schedule it with each other.

I’m giving this a GQ because it’s something I’ve been thinking about lately, as I have become more accustomed to and satisfied with texting and pm’ing rather than actual phone conversations, for the reasons outlined above.

Joe_Freeman's avatar

All good answers above, but I have two things to add:

1) Texting does not replace phone calling because only an idiot has an extended conversation by text. That’s not what it’s for. It’s for giving quick nuggets of info like, “OK, I’ll be there at 7pm at the latest” or “What was the name of that shampoo that you said was so good?” or “Give me a call in the morning” or “Hoping your surgery goes well <3”

2) Phone calls are synchronous whereas texting (and email) are asynchronous. This makes all the difference in the world. With phone calls, both parties must agree upon when to conduct their conversation, since both must agree or it won’t happen. (In practice, the caller simply calls when he or she thinks it’s OK, and the callee has to deal with it or ignore it — and it may well be at an inconvenient time.) With texting, you send your message whenever you want, and the recipient reads it and replies if and when he or she feels like doing so. No synchronization is involved and no one gets interrupted in the middle of what they were doing.

canidmajor's avatar

And once again, @SQUEEKY2, you seem to miss the point for so many people. Because of being around my kids and their friends, I believe I have a pretty good handle on the majority of the people who would do this, because they were raised with the tech. Most of them will do this only when it is inappropriate or inconvenient to have a verbal conversation.

@Joe_Freeman has it exactly, as well. Very often it is difficult to commit to the conversation at the same time. I am grateful for the technology that allows me to exchange information in such a convenient fashion.

cookieman's avatar

What folks who are pro-phone call fail to realize is that texting (or eMail) doesn’t replace phone calls for me — they simply give me a means of communication I’m comfortable with.

In other words, if that technology didn’t exist, for me, it would be: talk in person > don’t talk to me at all > phone call

It’s not like I would use the phone more. For example, there’s a couple people I rarely get to see in person and they don’t text or eMail. They might as well give up on me, because I will not be calling them daily to chit chat.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Ι agree that a phone call is better, but I hate talking, I much prefer writing. I think I express myself better. For some weird reason I hate phones and I prefer to keep calls short and to the point. Call me sick, but the less communicating I have to do by speaking the better for me.

flutherother's avatar

Phoning is awkward from a noisy street when you can’t hear or be heard. Also while it might be a convenient time for you to make the call it might not be a convenient time for the other person to receive it. A text is also a record of what the other person said and can be referred to later.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

I can text someone in the lift between my apartment and my car, when I can’t talk at either end of that short trip. Calling in such a short space in time would be completely eaten up by the conversational structure of saying hello and goodbye. This can be part of a conversation, and I’ll send the next message 10 minutes later when I get to my destination.

OpryLeigh's avatar

There are only three people in the world that I feel comfortable talking to on the phone. Generally, I am filled with anxiety when I have to talk to people on the phone and, as I have to do it a lot for work, I’d often rather text where possible.

janbb's avatar

It’s interesting how often you complain about things you never use @SQUEEKY2 . I find texting an easy, non-invasive way to check in with a friend, extend an invitation or ask my son to call me to chat when he can. It’s a very useful addition to my communication arsenal.

Certainly having an extensive text convo while you are with someone or texting while driving is rude and dangerous but since the advent of cellphones it’s great to have a less invasive method of communicating than always calling.

jca's avatar

@SQUEEKY2: In your question’s details, you say you don’t understand the popularity of text because “people are social creatures, so wouldn’t our real voice be better than the printed word?” I don’t see why you seem to consider text to be unsocial. I can have a very sociable conversation via text, and at the same time it requires little energy or planning.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I UNDERSTAND TEXT for quick messages,what I DO NOT UNDERSTAND is full blown conversations in texting, people defend texting saying it is fast and convenient and it lets you keep in touch with people you care about (just don’t want to talk to them in your real voice) would rather type away at a micro key pad distracted at anything else, that is going on around you.
Now people defend the full blown text conversation,saying it takes little energy or planing??
Being distracted typing away at a micro key pad takes little energy or planing??
Seems to me just talking in your real voice would be far easier,and you can pay better attention to whats going on around you.
And I do use text for a very quick note to someone, and understand it works great for that, but never for full blown conversations,and I guess I will never understand that, I guess I want to keep my eyes on whats going on around me and not walk into a wall, or water fountain, or drive off a cliff.

jca's avatar

@SQUEEKY2: Texting while walking is only one way of texting. You can text in a chair or in bed. I can text on the deck when I’m chilling out under the umbrella. I have had text conversations with my friends when they are sitting waiting for their kids at dance class or karate class or whatever.

I am in my late 40’s so when I grew up this technology was non-existent. I am not one who knows nothing else. I remember the days of waiting till Sunday to call someone because the Ma Bell rates were cheaper. We’d have an hour long conversation to catch up. Now, I still have those conversations with people, but very rarely. Text, pm’ing or emailing is so much more convenient to our busy lifestyles. Right now I could pick up the phone and call some friends if I wanted to, but I’m busy getting my daughter breakfast and the friends I can think of calling are either at church or still sleeping, or busy getting their own families breakfast. Text (which, to me, includes pm or email) is a way of fitting in a conversation without being intrusive.

Judi's avatar

Sometimes it serves you well to have your conversations documented.
My son and his wife will often be in the same room and text their arguments. It forces them to hear (read) the other person.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@Judi interesting,and they have something to show the lawyer later if need be?

ibstubro's avatar

I do not text, and for that reason find it annoying.

However, it’s less annoying that one person in a car killing everyone else’s conversation by carrying on a long and inane cell phone call.
It would be great in a situation such as @flutherother mentions, where there is a lot of noise (since I’m in the auction business.)
It would be nice to be able to leave someone a message they can get later, without having to verbalize it. Voicemail seems so…formal.

Eventually all the dumb phones will be dead, and I’ll be forced to get a smart phone. At that time I’ll likely embrace texting, Until then, I’ll stay he happy old dog. Odd that I’ve nearly given up on email entirely, too.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@ibstubro I have a flip phone as well and texting on it sucks, but do leave very quick texts for some people, I text mostly with my computer, and yes I text some friends phones with my computer,but again quick notes.
I understand how people defend that it is just another way for people to communicate, but guess what I don’t want to communicate with anyone that fucking bad to have a full blown text conversation with them,I might look at it different if Mrs Squeeky liked texting , but she absolutely hates it and won’t do it at all, and I mean NOT AT ALL.
I guess all I can say is to those of you that just love text talk, PLEASE, PLEASE pay attention to whats going on around you as well,and text till your thumbs fall off.

Coloma's avatar

I don’t text, infact, I’m the last of the Mohicans and do not carry a cell phone.
For years I lived on a property that didn’t get cell reception and I still live rural but just haven’t bothered to get a phone. I don’t really need one/want one, don’t need an extra bill, and prefer talking on the phone or emailing.
I think it’s sad that people can’t take a few minutes to actually exchange voices and while texting can be handy it should not replace actual “communication”. I do not consider texting to be a viable form of such, true communication involves actually engaging with another.

.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Thanks for the answer @Coloma and if I didn’t need the damn thing for work I probably wouldn’t have a cell phone either, like most weekends I don’t even turn the thing on, I will admit it is a great way to locate Mrs Squeeky in a mall when we are out and about.

stanleybmanly's avatar

The points above are pretty powerful squeak. I for one am convinced that the sheer prevalence of the practice demonstrates a very powerful motivation on the part of people to utilize it. By the way, those were great videos posted in the other thread.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Thanks @stanleybmanly I thought so as well.

canidmajor's avatar

@SQUEEKY2, you say in post after post that you don’t understand why people do this, and people keep explaining why they do this. You say, again and again that people shouldn’t text while walking, driving, eye, and people keep telling you that they text from chairs and beds and stuff. You only praise the answers of people who agree with you.
Maybe you just want to say that you don’t like this stuff, but Fluther requires you to ask it as a question, fine, but do recognize that there are all sorts of ways to look at these things. Some if us choose to do things differently. We are not universally wrong. You are not universally right.
Embrace diversity, it might lessen your outrage.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@canidmajor they say they want to keep in touch with people they care about.(I get that)
They also say they just don’t want to take the energy to talk to the person they care about in their real voice, much easier to text them.(I don’t get that)
I do think texting is very unsocial and not personal, but a lot of you think it is.(I do not get that as well)
I think for a quick note texting works very well.(I get that)
For a full blown conversation I think texting is very anti-social and not personal, as a voice conversation,but a lot of you disagree with me on that( I get that)
In real life I have witnessed people doing extreme stupid things while texting, because they are so distracted. (I get that, but you seem to disagree with me on that,as well for a great some of people it is an obsession)
And your very right I will praise people that agree with me on this topic, sorry.
So I know texting is here to stay, but please, please please, pay attention to whats going on around you as well, when your in your little text world OK??

jca's avatar

@SQUEEKY2: There’s no denying people text while walking or driving and end up doing very stupid things but you don’t admit to what’s been reiterated here several times: Many people text from beds and chairs and lawns and sitting under trees and other stationary places.

Many people, myself included, will spend 15 seconds sending a text and then not look
at the phone for a half hour or an hour. Texting does not necessarily mean “a little text world” of staring at the phone incessantly. Many people text obsessively, many people do not.

For the past 3 hours I have been texting a coworker. I would never ever call him when work is out, unless of course something was urgent, but never to chat. Yet for the past few hours we’ve been texting about a work event that occurred yesterday. Maybe only 10 texts each, which, in 3 hours, is not a lot at all, but we’re communicating and yet my phone is in the kitchen so I’m not obsessively looking at it and I’m getting everything else done (including Fluthering) and I’m not interrupting him and he’s not interrupting me. We’re saying a lot about the work event so it’s very informative stuff but not intrusive. If I called him or he called me on a weekend it would probably feel inappropriate in some way, or unnecessary.

canidmajor's avatar

“So I know texting is here to stay, but please, please please, pay attention to whats going on around you as well, when your in your little text world OK??”

Yeah, not so much. No, I mostly won’t. I, like so many on this thread, text from my furniture, and the likelihood of myself or someone else being hurt by my texting is so low as to not be a consideration.
You want to ascribe to the majority, behaviors that simply don’t apply to the majority. YouTube videos notwithstanding, most of us use the tech you so decry in a responsible fashion that really doesn’t negatively impact you at all.
Some people do stupid stuff. They would do stupid stuff whether or not texting existed.

JLeslie's avatar

I like texting so people can respond when it is convenient for them. Although, people like my husband think a phone call, text, basically every type of communication os a demand for him to respond immediately. My dad is like that too. He says to me, “I don’t want to give out my cell phone number or have my cell phone on, because I don’t want to have to answer.” You don’t have to do anything! If the phone rings in my house and I don’t feel like talking I let it ring. My home phone does not tell me who is calling, I’m not being selective. My husband cant understand letting a phone ring. I used to text him at work until I realized it was interrupting meeting, because he was replying. The reason I sent a text was so he didn’t have to reply fnthe timing was bad. We sorted that out once he told me how he thought about it.

I once sent a text at 5am to someone regarding my house build, especting they could respond later that day when they saw it. She told me she was afraid someone in her family had died. Really? You have your text set to ring that it wakes you? And, your family would text you someone died? That seems like phone call material to me.

I began to realize people look at texting, phone calls, and emails differently than me.

Anyway, for me, I like to text so you can respond to me when it is convenient. There is some expectation that a response will be within reason, at least by the end of the day, although some things it might be the next day. I also like it because sometimes its good to have it in writing to reference back to. Like if my husband needs me to buy something for him while I’m running errands—send me a text and I don’t have to write it down or remember it.

A short hello or question is easier by text than a phone call.

Phone calls are better for emotional discussions, because as we all know emotion, sarcasm, and other nuances can be lost or misinterpreted in writing.

It is almost impossible to know how great texting is until you start using it. Almost always the result is you will be in touch with people more not less.

JLeslie's avatar

I want to add I wish my mom and dad would text more. They, especially my dad, would be much happier, he just doesn’t know it. He wishes we talked more. If he texted he would get additional communication time with me. I send him texts to try to get him in the habit, but so far he isn’t really getting into it. He won’t put his phone on! He just turns it on to check to see if my mom called him when he is running late, or to call home if he is running late, when he is out for a lot of hours.

jca's avatar

Texting is also a way of letting people know you’re thinking of them without a great time investment. I can text my hypochondriac friend and say “hey, how was your doctor appointment” and she can text back as much or as little detail as she likes. If I call her and ask the same question, I have to think of when is a good time for her and for me (which for me means almost never). I also don’t want to have to listen to her go on for an hour about some mundane health condition but she can text it and I will read it.

Before I had a smart phone, I was not interested in text or googling from a phone or taking photos with a phone because I didn’t not understand the convenience. I have a smart phone now, provided by my job, and I do really appreciate the convenience of those 3 things I use it most for (text, googling and photos, or any combo of the 3). I can take a photo of something or someone and text it to someone. That’s another example of the beauty of text. Someone may ask me to pick something up at the store for them, so I’ll photograph it and send it to them so they can verify that’s what they want. So many examples, too many to get into.

JLeslie's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 Do you use email?

Berserker's avatar

I see texting, e mails or FB as means of convenience and nothing else. Quick notes, information, reminders, drive by greetings at most. But an actual conversation, I would rather it happen live, voice to voice. Unless it’s impossible to do so.
Then again I also hate talking on phones for extended periods of time, and I see the phone much as I do texting; a tool rather than a means of socializing, and I thought that long before the internet or cell/smartphones were commonly used by everyone.
To each his own though, I really don’t give a shit. And of course there are exceptions. I talk to my grandma on the phone all the time because she lives in another country. And obviously, I converse here on Fluther, and some other sites. Not quite the same though.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@JLeslie Of course I use Email.
Look as I said I understand texting has a place, for short notes I think it’s great, I don’t understand full blown conversations in text speak, but others have stated why it’s the cat’s meow for them, and they do it safely from a sitting position as to not endanger others with their distraction, I can live with that.
You won’t catch me having a full blown conversation in text talk,there isn’t anyone out there I want or need to talk to that bad, but thats me.
I guess what I am really getting at is text responsibly ,and be aware of whats going on around you as you lose yourself in text land.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@jca my flip phone takes photos and videos, as well text can go on line which I never do, my plan has no data on it.
And you say it takes less energy to type at a micro key pad than to talk to someone, and you do it from a stationary position as to not do something dumb that might endanger you or others around you, so fine have at it,and now I understand why, but I still don’t get it but never will so we will leave it there.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

So texting is a way of letting people know your thinking of them, how nice, but those same people are not worth actually talking to?? not worth the time or investment of a voice call?
See that’s what I don’t get.
But have at it, I have a friend who loves texting and it drives me crazy, but now I know I am not worth the time or investment of a voice call, gee thanks for pointing that out.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@JLeslie your long answer is a really good one thanks, and it shows me how and why people like it so much,if you have been reading mine you do know I do use it but for only brief notes,I can’t stand full conversations in text talk but then never will.

Judi's avatar

@SQUEEKY2, you do realize that fluther is the same as having full on conversations via text don’t you?

janbb's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 And also you do realize that some of us who text don’t use text speak – we just type really well. And that it is possible to have a “real voice” not matter what medium you use.

Mariah's avatar

I’m actually strangely phobic of talking on the phone and find it much more comfortable to have a text conversation.

dxs's avatar

1: Convenience. I am not always in the best environment to be texting. For instance, right now I’m in the library Fluthering studying. If someone were to call me, it would not be convenient for me to answer. But if they were to text me, I could easily text them back. Calling is only convenient in certain windows of time whereas texting has a broader convenience window, and I can respond at my own convenience.

2: Sometimes I don’t want other people hearing what I have to say.

3: Texting allows me to gather my thoughts before I respond, whereas calling I’m prompted to give a sudden, improved answer. This is a big plus for me. For some reason, I’m not good as this compared to being face to face with the person. There’s a certain flow that goes with conversing with someone face-to-face, and I feel like this is lacking when on the phone. Maybe it’s a lack of body gestures.

4: I can’t always hear what people are saying while on the phone. And vice-versa. Often times I’ll ask people to repeat something more than once only for me to still not understand what they’re saying.

JLeslie's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 Before you started using email did you understand just how great it would be? I didn’t. Then when texting started I couldn’t understand why I needed to text when I already could email or talk on the phone. Why was it significantly different? I just didn’t quite understand the convenience. I was late to getting a smartphone, and still could live without one, but I wouldn’t want to give up the texting.

That was my experience. So, I’m hypothesizing that if you used text more you would grow to really enjoy it as a way to communicate, but I could be wrong.

DVR was another. Lots of people told me I should get it and I didn’t for years. Then a neighbor said “it changes your life.” For some reason that convinced me to try. She was right and so was everyone else who tried to tell me.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@Judi Sure but as others have pointed out we or at least I am doing it safely from my desk chair not out and about so not to walk into a wall or water fountain, and I guess as others have pointed out your not with the energy of a voice call.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

An example: was the end of my last post to Judy, reading it you would right away think how rude,but in person or even voice to voice you would know that I was saying that with humour something very lost in texting.
We lose the real person contact with texting a full conversation,and print can be taken way out of context, but I guess we are not worth real people contact just the the text to let people know we are thinking of them after all they are not worth the energy or investment of a real voice, for something like Fluther that is fine you are all strangers, but for my real life friends and family I much prefer face to face or at least a real voice coming at me than just a bunch of words.

Judi's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 , I and a lot of people fluther from their phone.
Like I posted above, you gain a lot too.
When my hubby and I were first married (25 years ago) we did a marriage encounter weekend. One of the main points was to write out your thoughts in “love letters” to each other.
It was a tool to stop and listen to the other person without being distracted by formulating your response instead. Text is a technical way of using that tool for many people.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

But it’s to a web site with strangers from the internet, not someone you know and claim you care about.
Plus you are doing it from a stationary position RIGHT?? as to not be distracted and chance hurting yourself and others RIGHT??

Judi's avatar

I sometimes fluther in the car when hubby is driving.
I hope you see my edits in the comment above. Text might be better because you can’t edit.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

As long as your husband is driving I will take that as a stationary position.

JLeslie's avatar

I know I have sent a text when I need to vent to a close friend, but am unable to talk. Women have this need more than men probably.

Judi's avatar

I’m not defending texting and driving, but I am defending it as valid form of communication, and sometimes even better than phone or face to face.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

It is a valid form of communication,I am not disputing that in the least,as a trucker it isn’t bad to text my cross shift and tell him I will be a bit late getting back because of a road accident,that some idiot had and I am sitting waiting for it to clear because some moron was texting and driving.
For quick tid bits of information it is great, for full blown conversations you lose the real person contact,but hey as long as you do it safely, and don’t veer into my lane I guess have at it.

dxs's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 Re:“reading it you would right away think how rude,but in person or even voice to voice you would know that I was saying that with humour ”

You are very right. Another example is when people ROUTINELY USE CAPS or end their sentences with a ton of exclamation points!!!!!! or question marks?????? or both?!?!?!?!?!
These can also convey the wrong attitude. I hope…

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@dxs of course they can convey the wrong attitude,and we lose that in text conversations, people say stop shouting WHEN YOU USE FULL CAPS, but you might not have meant it that way at all,see we lose a lot when you take the real person out of the conversation,that is why I will just use it for quick notes and nothing more.

chyna's avatar

I will only text, not call, one of my brothers. He never shuts up and you can’t get off the phone with him. So I stopped answering his phone calls and he will text me much shorter conversations.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@chyna that is sad but I can understand it,just do it safely.
My cross shift never shuts up, so quick text is all he gets.

ucme's avatar

Do you trucker guys get heavy periods then?
Would explain all that whining & shit.

jca's avatar

Yesterday I was at the mall with my elementary school-aged daughter. My hypochondriac friend called (who will easily go on for at least one hour talking about her medical issues, medical decisions, etc.). She left me a vm as I had my phone on silent. When I saw that I missed her call, and decided that I wasn’t going to call her back, my decision was based on two things: One – that when I’m running around with my daughter, I am not able to give full attention to my friend and whatever she has to say and Two – there’s a lot of background noise at the mall, so even if I call her, I’m probably not going to hear her very well. I texted a response that I will call her tomorrow (from work, where the time is limited but at least I can hear her and give her some attention). Her voicemail said she has one question. I was wondering why she couldn’t just text it, and then I could have texted the answer, and it would have been so simple. She also mentioned in the voicemail that she called me at home and left me a voicemail. The time and effort to make two calls and leave voicemails on both, to me, way exceeds what would have been a one minute text from her and she’d now have the answer from me, if she just used text.

JLeslie's avatar

@jca Text the answer back.

chyna's avatar

@jleslie The friend of @jca didn’t text or otherwise leave her the question.

jca's avatar

@JLeslie: I’m saying if she just texted me her question, I could have texted the answer back to her or if it was really urgent, I would try to find a brief moment to call her.

I just called her (as I told her I would) and she said she has to talk to me a little later, which means still suspense for me and she is still not getting her answer.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@jca if it wasn’t for text would you bother keeping in touch with her at all??
And if your answer is no,then how good a friend is she really?
I have said before and you( and by you I mean all of you on this question that defend text conversations to the death) are not reading or hearing, I do use text for short notes, I can’t understand it for full blown conversations.
You and the others have stated full blown text conversations are easier and way less energy than talking to some one.
If I am not worth the energy of a voice call,then just cut me out altogether I would rather deal with a friend who does think I am worth the energy.
Many of you totally agreed with @Joe_Freeman but did you read the first line in his answer?1) Texting does not replace phone calling because only an idiot has an extended conversation by text. <his words not mine.

Judi's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 , obviously you didn’t read my posts. They are great in conversations where people interrupt you and take you off point. They force people to “listen” before rebuttal, and even if they do answer before you’re done writing a post you still have an opportunity to complete your thought before you respond to their interruption. Texting full on conversations can be relationship savers.
That may not make sense to you but it doesn’t mean that it’s not true for lots of people.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@Judi I did read your post about your kids arguing by text,so they can refer to their printed word if any misunderstanding, and maybe my thoughts keep their voices down as well,and in a way that does make sense.
I would win every argument with Mrs squeaky if we did that,because she doesn’t text at all.
As for places that are to noisy to have a voice conversation, then that feeds my argument that texting a conversation in those places is to distracting, and you take the chance of doing something really stupid or hurting yourself .

jca's avatar

@SQUEEKY2: While we’re quoting @Joe_Freeman, he makes a great point here: “Phone calls are synchronous whereas texting (and email) are asynchronous. This makes all the difference in the world. With phone calls, both parties must agree upon when to conduct their conversation, since both must agree or it won’t happen. (In practice, the caller simply calls when he or she thinks it’s OK, and the callee has to deal with it or ignore it — and it may well be at an inconvenient time.) With texting, you send your message whenever you want, and the recipient reads it and replies if and when he or she feels like doing so. No synchronization is involved and no one gets interrupted in the middle of what they were doing.”

When I want to talk to my friend on the phone, I have to take into consideration that she sleeps on a different schedule than I do, her work schedule is different, and on week nights, I am busy with hour-long commute home, putting my daughter in the shower and assisting her to get out, reminding her to brush her hair, cooking her dinner, serving it, removing the plates, reminder to brush her teeth, etc. whereas my friend has none of that as she has no spouse at present. On weekends, she’s busy and I’m busy. We can talk on the phone but only when it’s convenient for the two of us. We see each other, go to dinner, etc. so yes, we do have a friendship other than texting. It’s just hard to coordinate a phone call.

As to your last quote above about “As for places that are to noisy to have a voice conversation, then that feeds my argument that texting a conversation in those places is to distracting, and you take the chance of doing something really stupid or hurting yourself .” I don’t understand. When it’s too noisy to speak, (as in my example above about being at the mall), texting would be perfect for that. If one cannot walk and text, which many cannot, one can stand off to the side and text or sit in a chair and text, or text from the parked car in the parking lot. I don’t understand why you think texting would be distracting that one would hurt themselves, when one can stop what they’re doing and text when it’s convenient, or not text and wait till later. Even if one is busy, a quick few words “Will respond later” should suffice.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@jca as you defend the mall text, and say just find a chair or stand to the side for a moment,that only works for people that have a shred of common sense, and most people do not,as they walk into walls or water fountains, or fall down a flight of stairs, that have happened in the video I posted.
If you had bothered to even look at?

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I have witnessed stupid things done by people texting, and people ignored by someone texting someone else.
You have to have a full blown text conversation, and can’t talk to the person your with?
I have seen that in real life,so sorry if I bad mouth your wonderful text conversation.
I guess I will never get it.

jca's avatar

@SQUEEKY2: If I am with someone, of course I do not text them. I am referring to being at a public place (mall) with my 8 year old and a call comes in on the cell phone. I am not going to be able to hear my friend and I am running around with the 8 year old. Text would be simpler. Just my opinion. Some may agree, some may not.

I didn’t see your video yet but I will watch it. It’s probably hilarious. I’ve seen those videos before. People walking into fountains and stuff like that. I am very careful to not text and walk, or be very brief if I do so. Maybe if I grew up with this technology, I would be better at it but as I said, I grew up without it and just started texting in the past year or so.

Coloma's avatar

What video? I must be blind but I am not seeing a link?

jca's avatar

@Coloma: You’re right. I don’t see the link, either. (I assumed it was up there and I just missed it but I guess I didn’t miss it as it’s not there!).

Judi's avatar

I’m glad I wasn’t going crazy.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Sorry me bad! The link is on the other question about texting,FB, and rubber necking at accidents being obsessions, check it out on that post.

JLeslie's avatar

@jca @chyna Oh, she didn’t leave the question on the vmail? I misunderstood. You could still text her and write, “difficult for me to talk. Can you text? What’s up?”

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Ok while I don’t get the text conversation, I understand why you use it as you say, it takes less energy, way less intrusive, a lot more convenient.
In my travels I have witnessed people doing some very stupid things while texting, including driving,you again say NOT me I only do it from a stationary position,i.e. chair,couch,lawn chair that type of thing I never do it driving or walking where I might hurt myself or others, GREAT.
Now do you get the feeling don’t blame me because other people do stupid things while texting,is that right??
Sorta like don’t take texting away because a few are stupid, have I got that right?
A lot of us do it responsibly, and would never do where a distraction might hurt myself or others, do I have that right as well??
Now I will flip directions, why do anti gun people want to ban firearms for everyone?
I use my firearms responsibly obey all the laws, and safely store them when not in use, but people say it doesn’t matter no one should own a gun except police and military.
BUT I USE IT SAFELY, why should I not be allowed to have them?
Because a few do not and hurt others with them, is that the reason I shouldn’t be allowed to own them?
Now back on topic, please pay attention to whats going on around you when texting in public, and please don’t ever text and drive,there are other drivers on the road that don’t need to be put to risk because of a damn text,and if you see someone walking and texting or driving and texting if you can make them aware of how dangerous they are ,and putting innocent people at risk because of a damn text.

dappled_leaves's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 I get that you are annoyed by the behaviour of individuals you’ve seen doing bad things around you. What I don’t get is why you respond by assuming that everyone engages in the same bad behaviour, and why you think that Fluther is deserving of a lecture about this bad behaviour.

Has it actually not occurred to you that perhaps only some of the people in the world who enjoy texting do it unsafely? Maybe we don’t all need to be told to be safe and careful… because we do, in fact, have brains in our heads and we do, in fact, care about other people than ourselves.

Honestly, the moral superiority is getting a bit old.

trailsillustrated's avatar

I’m a texter not a talker I can text as fast as I can talk, so.

jca's avatar

@JLeslie: No, she just said “I have to ask you a question. I also left you a voicemail on your home phone.” That’s what was so annoying. She could have just texted the question, I would have texted the answer and we would have been both satisfied. Instead, I asked her via text to text the question and that I could not call her as I was running around with child, and that I was unable to call until next day at work. Long story short, over 12 hours until I could call and find out question and then answer it. If she just was willing to text it, answer would have been immediate.

@SQUEEKY2: I agree with @dappled_leaves. We hear you. You don’t like texting. we repeat that we all seem to text safely and are not like many who text in unsafe conditions. Lectures and moral superiority is getting old. Texting works for many in various situations and there will be people who dislike it or are not accustomed to it, and for those, they can refrain.

JLeslie's avatar

@jca Its ridiculous. Unless she can’t text easily for some specific reason like eyesight problems or technologically totally inept, she should have texted you. Especially since she is pushing it with how much of your time she takes to begin with. She needs a reality check.

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