General Question

emily123's avatar

I hate my life, I have completely lost everything, what do I do?

Asked by emily123 (28points) July 9th, 2015

Nothing seems to work for me .I am in 11th grade and i hate the people who surround me .They are popular,rich, bitchy ,the pass a lot of comments because they have power and those who try to stop them are continuously mocked.What do i do ?complaining is not an option .Isn’t their a way i can become famous too or start a revolution of some kind so i too become popular ?
Please help me , this thing never leaves my mind and attending school has actually become depressing and nothing inspires me no matter what .Every night i cry and constantly worry .Please help me .

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35 Answers

Apparently_Im_The_Grumpy_One's avatar

“What once was an end to the world is now just the end of a story.”

Later in life you’re likely going to see those rich, popular kids get fatter and older just like everyone else. Their popularity now might very well be the pinnacle of their achievements.

The bottom line is that you don’t need what they have.

On the list of important things in life, popularity doesn’t rate a high mark.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Try to find something to focus on, rather than the primates around you.
What do you enjoy? What after school programs would you like to be part of?

marinelife's avatar

Take heart. School will end soon and you will never have to see those people again.

Everyone is not like that. What do you like? Music? History? Sports? Whatever it is, find some like-minded kids (groups or clubs are one way) and develop your own group of friends.

Being popular and being rich are, believe it or not, not the keys to happiness in life.

Focus on your school work. Getting a job that you like will help you out.

Consider volunteering. Helping others brings a real glow of satisfaction.

Just don’t consider that this is the end or even the bottom of your life. You are just starting out. The possibilities are endless.

filmfann's avatar

Calm down.
When I was in school, there were those who knew the direction they were going, and those that didn’t.
Those that didn’t found their way soon, like 5 years, after High School.
Those that thought they knew what they wanted, who seemed focused on a set future, all fell apart, and were adrift 5 years after school. It took them years to find their footing.
You will be fine. Don’t expect to immediately know what you are doing, and where you are going.

Lawn's avatar

You are just starting out. The popularity stuff may seem important now, but actually you are better off staying back to avoid all of that drama…

wsxwh111's avatar

Much worse me at that time, and I’m sorry that maybe I can’t offer you many valuable advices, but I just wanna say it gets better and we are here with you

kritiper's avatar

Buck up! Tomorrow is a whole new day! Don’t live your life for now, but for the future. And live it for YOU, not some other jerk-wad! When you’re in your 60’s, you’ll be thankful you did.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@emily123 Just relax and stop worrying about the popularity contests and the money issues. I went into high school and no one ever noticed me. I said screw it and just went out to have a good time, following my own rules. Pretty soon I was among the in group, because I was just being myself. You can’t be something you’re not. Either that or the huge parties we had at my house every weekend when my mother left me and my brother alone over the weekend.

rojo's avatar

You might try meditation and reflection.

A simplistic approach, yes, but one that both calms the inner demons and provides insights into what the real difficulties are.

rojo's avatar

Something to consider:

In you question you state: ”.Isn’t their a way i can become famous too or start a revolution of some kind so i too become popular” Are you not asking can you become that which you detest? Start by asking yourself why?

stanleybmanly's avatar

It’s difficult to know this (and hard to accept) but all of the advice above is correct. All of us remember the 11th grade, and we know that you can tough it out as we did. Things will improve and it will happen sooner than you think.

Here2_4's avatar

Popular doesn’t mean being wealthy. Popular means, “Has friends”. Having money does not make people popular. It just makes them bait. They are nibbled at by everyone who wishes they could afford that outfit, that car, that stuff. If they hang out skillfully enough, someone with money will let them use some of their stuff. Maybe they will get to be seen riding in that car. Mostly, kids with money hang out together because they know this; maybe straight out, maybe in a corner of their mind. Hanging out with other kids who have money they feel like they are being liked for who they are, not what they have. That may be true in some cases.
When they finish high school, turn eighteen, they are no longer fed by their parents. They have to leave the nest/burrow/den to either live and thrive, or be eaten by predators. Trying to be like them, following them, focusing on them will not make your life a success. What they have in school is their parents’ stuff.
Ignore all that goo gah. Ignore it ALL. You are being like a bird focusing on a shiny object. Look at you. What do you want? No, stop peeking at the shiny stuff. What do you want? Do you want friends? Do you want a pet? Do you want lots of attention? Do you want to be alone to create, and dream, and invent? Do you want good grades?
If you want to have a flock of people around you, you have to realize, only one or two are really your friend, and the rest only want something from you.
Look at animals in the wild. There are herds, which move together, but individually. The only time you see lots of animals flocking to one animal in a hurry is when they are eating it. Be an individual who moves with the herd. Just be. Be strong. Be smart. Be what you are good at.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

And duh, welcome to fluther. I hope you like it here.

johnpowell's avatar

Just one more year and you can move the fuck away and get a job and rent a apartment and wash all the shit away.

When I was in the 11th grade my mom was in prison for killing my dad and I was living with my pregnant sister that was on welfare. There was this one dude that would call me “faggot” and slam me into a wall or locker if he saw me.

I’m 40 now. I survived and you can too. 20 years from now high school will be the thickness of a hair on your time-line.

talljasperman's avatar

Popularity sucks. I prefer not being famous. You can focus on a hobby or school subject. You can drop out if school and get a job where you can pay your dues, like McDonald’s and stay in one spot until you become manager. Then get your GED high school equivalency diploma.

janbb's avatar

Do you have any friends? Having one or two friends is much more rewarding than being popular. Can you identify anyone who might think as you do? Sometimes joining a club like the drama club or the newspaper is a way to find other “oddballs.” Being in the drama club made all the difference in the world to me.

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geeky_mama's avatar

Three quotes for you to mull over and/or chant under your breath when life sucks:

“This too shall pass”

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” – Arthur Ashe

“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” – John Lennon

chyna's avatar

Finding friends that have your same interests will make your life easier and more bearable.
High school does suck, but you only have one more year. Make it a fun year if you can. Think about your interests and how you can apply them to your life. Do you like photography? Join the year book committee. If you like to write, join the newspaper. Find the kid that is sitting by themself at lunch and join them.
You can always come here to Fluther and join in with our group. It’s a place to come and lose yourself for a few hours a week.

Good luck and welcome.

dabbler's avatar

Consider writing a journal/diary.
Maybe not on the computer because it’s too easy to get distracted – but write down everything.
What’s happening, how you feel, what do you want, why, how, who.
If you keep it private (and secure), you will feel more free to get out whatever you need to get out.

For me this never solved my problems.
But it clarifies my problems, helps clarify options, helps make choices, helps to take action.

linguaphile's avatar

@emily123 These are GOOD, intelligent, caring people answering your questions. Their concern is genuine and honest.

If I were you and wanted a better life, I’d start changing my world-view. The first step would be to develop consideration for others and honor these kind people’s time and effort with a response that includes gratitude.

Zaku's avatar

Realize that high school popularity contests are silly and don’t affect anything when not in school, especially after graduation. Popularity is overrated.

My schoolmates started getting weird and annoyingly obsessing about how to be cool in 7th grade. Acting like that is fake aggressive behavior. Kids tend to get afraid of being excluded and ridiculed or tormented and it meaning something about them. They then adopt defensive and aggressive personas which look for scapegoats to ridicule in an attempt to not be victimized the way they’re afraid will happen to them. But it’s shallow and mean and it sucks for everyone involved. If you can just be real and be yourself and just laugh and not care about the people being jerks, then you will be one of the coolest kids in your class. Or at least, that happened to me, without meaning or wanting to be popular. By 8th grade, people thought I was awesome just for being myself and not taking shit, and not doing that shit to other people.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Don’t aspire to be like the people you hate. Aspire to be better than them by being a better human being. High school is short compared to the rest of your life, don’t let “popularity” ruin anything for you. It doesn’t mean anything in the long run.

emmastone019's avatar

Those that thought they knew what they wanted, who seemed focused on a set future, all fell apart, and were adrift 5 years after school. It took them years to find their footing.

Here2_4's avatar

So far this jelly hasn’t even been back to see the responses.

wsxwh111's avatar

I think he/she has. He/she can choose to response whenever he/she wants/ is ready. @Here2_4

Here2_4's avatar

On the profile page, it shows one date.

wsxwh111's avatar

Well, then I guess reaching out for help, especially in some tough, depressed situation is hard, too. He/she can decide when he/she is ready to see all the responses, and also can choose some out of them to help himself/ herself

wsxwh111's avatar

The action of asking here itself shows incredible willing to trust people here and to get better. Just let him/her do it at his/her OWN pace.

JLeslie's avatar

Can you change schools? Can you finish school early by doubling up?

Even if you can’t do either of the above, try to stay focused on your next steps. Focus on good grades and going to college. Most people love their years at college while living on campus and making new friends, discovering new subjects,mlearning new things.

Do you work? If not I recommend try working and make new friends there and earn some money. You will feel more independent, and interacting with new people, helping people, will help you feel better I think. If it doesn’t work you can always quit.

antimatter's avatar

You think you got problems, go and ask the seven year old girl who was raped by her two uncles.
Ask the kid who sees his junky mother everyday.
You should stop to be your own victim and start focusing on the sky and not the ground

fluthernutter's avatar

@antimatter That’s a ridiculous way to rationalize pain. What you feel should not be trivialized because someone else has it worse off than you.
Someone else will always have it better or worse than you.

Should a girl who was only raped by one uncle suck it up because it wasn’t two uncles?


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