Social Question

Here2_4's avatar

Can you share your goofy?

Asked by Here2_4 (7142points) July 23rd, 2015

Unlike the Statue of Liberty, I don’t want your tired, your poor.
I want your goofy, your silly, your makes no sense. I just found an enormously long thread on the profile page of one of the Blondes. I hope for this to get that long. There are new jellies here, and I decided it would be easier to do this than send everyone there.
So, calling all goofballs! Have you anything to contribute?
Share thoughts, links, passages, anything, but it must lend to humor.
PLEASE NO NSFW
If anybody wants to visit the old hijack question, ask me, and I will pass on a link.

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33 Answers

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

What kind of goofy do you want?

Pachy's avatar

You want goofy? I’ll give you goofy. Here

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

A priest, a rabbi,, and a dumb guy crash their car in the desert. The priest grabs some water, the rabbi grabs some food, and the dumb guy rips off one of the car doors. The priest and the rabbi walk along for a bit, and then they can’t restrain themselves. Why are you carrying that door? Well when it get’s really hot I’ll roll the window down.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

A golfer was playing with his wife. He hit his tee shot behind the barn that the club used to store their equipment. His wife suggested opening the barn doors and hitting it through the barn. She’s holding the door and his shot hits the stone wall, richochets off and hits her in the head and kills her. A few weeks later he’s playing again for the first time, and hits the ball behind the barn. His partner asks if he wants to go through the barn. God no he says, last time I tried that I shot a seven on this hole.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

A bear walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender looks at him for a second, then draws him a draft. He pays for it. The bartender says to him we don’t see many bears in here. The bear looks at him, and says with these prices I’m not surprised.

ibstubro's avatar

All aluminum aircraft aren’t always an American alternative.

An absurdly appropriate antecedent answer.

Here2_4's avatar

^^^^That is clever and funny.

zenvelo's avatar

@ibstubro alliteratively appropriate alchemy.

SavoirFaire's avatar

Q: What is a pirate’s favorite letter?

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A: Wrong. His true love is the C.

Strauss's avatar

Then there’s the one about the magician who was walking down the street and turned into a bar!

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

A guy walks into a bar, and he has this very small person sitting on his shoulder. He orders a beer, and when it comes the small person jumps off his shoulder onto the bar and kicks over his beer. The bartender pours him another one, and the same thing happens. He looks at the guy and the guy shakes his head. I found a lantern and I rubbed it and a genie came out. I asked him for a twelve inch prick.

zenvelo's avatar

A priest, a rabbi, and a kangaroo walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “what is this, some kind of joke?”

Strauss's avatar

The priest, the rabbi and the kangaroo from the above post walk into a bar with the guy, complete with the small person on his shoulder from the post above that.

The bartender looks at the small person and says, “What is this, some kind of jerk?”

Coloma's avatar

Goofy?

I won’t even tell you how goofy I am.
You should hear me singing and making up songs for the animals around here.
Remember this…. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye8mB6VsUHw I sing it to the horses every day while they bounce around waiting for their apples-n-oats cookies. haha

Far too many goofy things for me to share, they could fill a book.

Here2_4's avatar

Kookey starts with “k”, kookey starts with “k”, @Coloma is kookey kookey kookey and that’s o k with meeeeeee.

longgone's avatar

I sing to animals, too. Our dogs all have voices, and they occasionally join in when we discuss politics or history. I have a high pitched voice I use to frustrate my family, as well as a whistling technique. I wrestle with my youngest sister, and the other one I have idiotic conversations with. I tell stories just to trick people into believing me – I can cry on cue, and I have a good poker face. I have several special walk with a friend, and we frequently discuss topics such as peanuts, in very serious tones. I still climb trees, catch snack food in my mouth, and join in waterfights. I sing with friends in public, and I own a toy helicopter, a very loud bicycle horn, and a megaphone.

zenvelo's avatar

Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Godel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg turns to the other two and says, “Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it’s funny or not?” Godel replies, “We can’t know that because we’re inside the joke.” Chomsky says, “Of course it’s funny. You’re just telling it wrong.”

zenvelo's avatar

Judge: “i’m sorry Mickey Mouse, but you can’t divorce Minnie because she is crazy.”

Mickey: “Crazy? I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she was fucking Goofy!”

Coloma's avatar

Oh, I forgot about one of my recent jokes.
I found a huge dead rat in our garage here a couple of months ago, while my friends were out.
I found a yellow plastic bag and cut it into several long strips and wrote “Police Line Do Not Cross” in increments on it. I then constructed a little fenced area around the rat on the garage floor.

I cut a small black piece of plastic garbage bag and draped it over the “victim” with its tail hanging out. lol
My friends totally cracked up.

cazzie's avatar

LOL, CSI Coloma…. hahahaha

Here2_4's avatar

Does anybody remember this one? I was watching when it originally aired.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF7ohp91GqI

Strauss's avatar

LOL! Carson had a way of speaking volumes with just a look!

Coloma's avatar

Sooo, today I was in the grocery store and the “quick” check lane was packed, people backed up into an isle with about 7 of us in line. A hot day with temps around 101 here.
I started talking to a lady in front of me, an older women, and she said ” I would have gone to another checkout but my husband is waiting in the car.” I said ” Well, I hope you left the windows cracked for him.” lol

I had the whole line laughing. I’m great to be stuck with I go into my improv routine and entertain all the bored peeps. haha

Strauss's avatar

Wa-a-ay back when I was young and single, I happened to meet a nice young woman at a bar. The drinks hit, the sparks flew, and she invited me back to her place. I noticed a chocolate fudge cake on the counter. It looked delicious! She gave me a nice piece; then we cut the cake!

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