Is it normal for a boss to ignore hard work?

I hate to make assumptions about people I don’t know. So I cannot begin to guess why he acts the way he does.

But I will speak in general based on bosses I have had.

Most of them do not think of you as a person with feelings. They see you as a cog in a great big gear wheel. You fill a mechanical role, but you are a small piece in a much larger machine. His concern is that the work is done, profitably and quickly, and not for your feelings.

Something I once read – if you want a job where you are loved, then work in an animal shelter. The animals will love you.

So… don’t expect much in terms of encouragement and back-patting.

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In an ideal working environment, bosses would be friendly and communicative and supportive. But that happens, maybe, 3% of the time, with exceptional people.

@elbanditoroso he used to be personal and caring and thankful. Its just a sudden change.

Is there something else going on in his life?

I would request to speak to him in his office, and sit down and tell him that it seems like he is unhappy and you want to make sure it’s not something you did or said.

@Adirondackwannabe I doubt it he is the same outgoing, loud, happy person with the other co-workers.

@Heather13 I can’t figure out why he’s turned on you like that.

@jca – I disagree.. at least the way you worded it. You don’t go in and tell the boss “you are unhappy”.

You might say – “I sense something different in your attitude towards me. Has my work product changed?”

The other possibility (??) is that he has the hots for you and is trying to control himself from doing something stupid.

^^^ That was the conclusion we came to last time.

I’d seriously start looking for another job.

@Dutchess_III what is your conclusion?

The first time you posted about your boss we were left with what @elbanditoroso said, he has the hots for you. That is a bad place to be in at the work place.

As for my own conclusion, either you are being very ego-centric and believe that the boss is targeting just you, when he isn’t, or he has really does have a problem with you.

If you get a new job and the same thing happens, or you think it happens, the problem could be you.

Have you discussed it with any of your co-workers? They would have more insight than we can give here.

If it’s true that the boss treats you differently than the rest of the employees it could be for several reasons.

1. It is possible that the boss does not like you for some reason. Maybe you inadvertently did something that he didn’t like. Maybe you are making him look bad without realizing it (like if you are doing more or better work, or work that was previously done by him) or he’s jealous of you for some other reason.

2. He could have some sort of secret crush on you, that he knows is inappropriate, so by treating you poorly, it makes him feel like he is avoiding the situation of having to deal with you without having sexual feelings (and/or possibly he’s blaming you for having sexual feelings towards you) or he’s pretending to be upset with you, so no one knows that he has sexual feelings towards you.

3. He may have heard some negative gossip about you which might be true, or might be untrue.

4. He may not like you because you’ve done something that you are not admitting to us, something that makes him look or feel stupid or angry, but it’s possible that whatever you did was not criminal or even an actual fire-able work offense. Here’s an example that I’ll share with you from my own experience. There was a woman at work who would always let the door slam in other people’s faces. She would never hold the door open for anyone, even if they were carrying a load of boxes, not even if they were mere steps behind her. She would ignore any co-workers who were “below” her on the social step ladder. She was rude, but not in a way that could get her fired. She was also a very poor communicator which rubbed almost everybody the wrong way. Most of what she said came across as rude and opinionated and pretentious. No one liked being around her. She also always had a sour look on her face, except when anyone “above” her social station in the company was around, then she managed to pull it together.

I’m guessing that you know more about why your boss is acting like this than you are letting on. Unless you are extremely naive, I think you probably know, or have a pretty good idea about what’s really going on here. People gossip, so someone else has probably given you or one of your other co-workers a pretty good idea of why the boss is acting like he is. Find one of those people and ask them.

Don’t just ask them if you’ve done anything wrong. Most polite people will say no. Ask something like this, “Hey Barb, over the last few months I’ve noticed that Mr. Boss has been doing X,Y and Z (give specific examples). I was wondering if I’ve done something that has rubbed him the wrong way. It seems like I’m the only one he acts like this around. Does it seem like that to you? Is it possible that I’m doing something inadvertent to upset him?”

How do you translate “Ignoring hard work” into ’Running from me”?

“Is it normal for a boss to avoid an underling at all costs?”
“If my boss can’t stand the sight of me, have I done something wrong?”
“My boss panics at the sight of me.” Got him!

@Dutchess_III @ibstubro @Kardamom ok. Since I posted this today, I went to work and went about things as usual. I work at a restaurant. He was preparing the food. He didn’t know when I came.

I ordered a dish I liked before my time to clock in. Whenever an employee orders food, their info shows up on the computer in the kitchen, so that the food can be discounted. When mine came out, it was the best I’ve ever seen. Usually, I get my food bland.

It even had a special sauce that was never used with this dish. Extra things were also added and it was done to perfection. He later kept sneaking in and out of my sight, and raising his voice to the other employees as I walk by during work. Then as I was alone near the entrance of the door, he was leaving, then stopped short to talk to someone for a few minutes. While trying to catch a view of me. Other employees were talking to me. As they walked away, he came up fast and said bye(smiling), and stormed out the door.

He wears a hat at work that covers most of his eyes. I don’t kmow if its a crush, because I recently heard he is married. His wife called in the other day.

@Heather13 It kind of sounds like he does have some type of romantic/sexual interest in you. It doesn’t matter whether he has a wife or not, he might still have these feelings or interests. Let’s just hope he doesn’t act on them.I’m sure the other employees know, to some degree if this is true. You could discreetly ask one of them, and let them know that it has been bothering you. I wouldn’t ask him. He’d either deny it, and feel awkward or angry that you suspect, or he’d take it as a sign that you’re interested (if he’s that stupid, and some men are).

If it continues to be a problem, I’d start looking for work elsewhere. Even if you take the problem to H.R. it’s likely that you’ll still get poor treatment, even if he tries to veil it. He might even treat you worse, but in ways that might be hard to prove.

@Kardamom the thing is, I am not getting poor treatment. In fact, I am the omly employee there that is not unhappy with management. Some would leave if they could. Many are complaining about schedules and such. They feel targeted. My schedule is consistent and whatever I ask, I am granted. And everyone there praises my work. Even one of the rudest managers below him, is nice to me and rude to others.

@Heather13 It would bug me if my boss acted the way yours is. I want/need to have a normal relationship and the regular kind of interaction and direct communication that goes with it. I would find it very annoying and difficult to work with someone who is always avoiding me, no matter what the reason.

You need to talk to him and ask for an evaluation of your work so far. You might be working hard, but are you making errors? Are you focusing on the wrong things? Do you present a bad attitude to customers and other staff? They (the other staff) might not say anything to you but they might be speaking to him. Perhaps he’s seeing something in your work that you’re not picking up yourself.

Ask if you can talk to him. Calmly ask him how you’re going and what you’re doing well and where you can improve. If he gives you negative feedback, don’t get upset, ask him for ideas about how he’d prefer you to work. Accept his feedback graciously, think about it, and if necessary provide a response calmly. If you can’t respond calmly then, ask if you can think about his comments and whether you can organise to speak to him about his review in a few days. You may learn things about your performance that will help you improve. If you go back to speak to him, have ideas about how you will apply his feedback to do a better job. If after thinking about it, you disagree, cite examples of where you’ve done what he said he wanted or to counter his objections. Try to keep your emotions out of it and be respectful.

He might be behaving this way because he doesn’t like conflict and he sees you as creating a situation where he is going to have to confront you. Not all bosses are good communicators.

@Earthbound_Misfit did you read my follow up responses? Quite the opposite is true. I am not making errors. There is no confrontations. The customers are happy with me. The other workers praise my efforts and even let him and the other managers know how well I am doing. Its like a big family.

@Heather13 Have you had a performance evaluation yet? Maybe you could ask for one just to see if your meeting his expectations.

@Adirondackwannabe well, he personally told me I am doing a great job. His behavior doesnt appear work related. And he’s the kind of person that will let you know if you’re doing poorly. He’s loud and opinionated.

But @Heather13…he told you you’re doing a good job, but your question asks if it’s normal for a boss to ignore hard work?

Exactly @Dutchess_III. What you’re being told does not connect to his behaviour @Heather13. When did he tell you you are doing a fantastic job? Perhaps his attitude has changed? Or maybe you’re paranoid and reading something into his behaviour that isn’t there. What you ‘think’ isn’t really what matters here. It’s what he thinks that is affecting his behaviour.

@Dutchess_III @Earthbound_Misfit He says this a few times on and off. And my other co-workers go to him and tells him how well I am doing since I’ve been working there. I ask this question because it came out of the blue in a sense. He would always say a quick hi to me and pass me in a hurry. Now he sees me and looks away quickly and says nothing. He almost tripped over his feel a couple days ago when I came in his view. He hurried outof sight. It use to be an awkward greeting when he said hi. Now he looks tense and nervous. Its outsranding because he talks easily and joke around with everyone else. If anyone is lazy or doing poorly, he calls them out on it. He’s deginitely not passive about telling anyone to do better. I am not reading more into it that what I see with my two eyes.

How old is this guy? 14?

@Heather13 If you haven’t done something to upset him, I think he may be attracted to you and he’s feeling conflicted and he can’t deal with it. Be careful and don’t be alone with him. These kind of situations generally don’t turn out well. That sucks, but life sometimes sucks.

@Earthbound_Misfit @Dutchess_III @Kardamom @Adirondackwannabe @elbanditoroso He was walking real close behind me today as I walked of from a table. Lol. I almost slipped trying to walk fast. As I turned to see aa puddle of water, he made a detour. I later caught him staring at me from a doorway. Weird.

I think you have your answer. I just don’t know what to do with it. Guys are bad sometimes. Don’t hold it against all of us though.

There are plenty of restaurants in this world. Find another job.

@Dutchess_III I’ve gotten so attached to this job. I know most of what it entails and don’t want to jump from job to job at every weird moment. I’ll just avoid running into him.