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ShanEnri's avatar

My daughter said something to me and I would appreciate your thoughts!

Asked by ShanEnri (4414points) August 15th, 2015

I was at a crossroads and no matter what I decided the decision would be a very hard one to make. While I was talking to my daughter she said, “Mama, the hardest decisions usually turn out for the best.” Do you find this to be true?

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20 Answers

snowberry's avatar

Your choice in that decision is what makes all the difference.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

It is not 100% but it usually is most of the time. It is hard because people want the easy out or something that is comfortable, when the right way is not always comfortable so it seems hard.

talljasperman's avatar

Not always. For example it is easy to walk over a bridge than underneath it, but why? You just get wet.

jca's avatar

I don’t think she is correct but that’s not the point. The point is don’t worry your child with your problems. When she said that, what I would have said is “you’re right honey” and let it go.

ShanEnri's avatar

@jca The problem concerned my daughter. But thanks for that..

JLeslie's avatar

I try to think that if a decision is difficult both choices are good ones, or both choices are equal, or the decision would be clear and easy.

I wouldn’t agree the hardest decision turn out to be the best, but difficult decisions typically have long term consequences, and a big change we think about carefully often winds up giving us a lot of satisfaction.

Sometimes hard decisions have two sucky alternatives, you choose the lesser of two evils.

If my daughter said what yours did I would tell her I think that is a lovely way to look at decision making, and that you feel confident also that everything will work out.

JLeslie's avatar

I just saw your answer to @jca. Will you share what the problem is?

Blackberry's avatar

Too vague…Cannot compute. Lol.

Whatever the problem is, I’d say go with instinct.

ShanEnri's avatar

@JLeslie without going into great detail, it was concerning divorce. My daughter is 24 and the only person I have to talk to most times. The decision was made and her advice was spot on. Everything worked out, the divorce did not happen and everyone is the better for it. As far as my kids being involved I felt they deserved to know the how’s and why’s before hand so I didn’t just dump it in their laps!

kritiper's avatar

No, I don’t think that is true. I broke up with a girlfriend years ago and she said “Things always turn out for the best.” For us it was best, but it just isn’t true in all instances. Couldn’t be!

JLeslie's avatar

@ShanEnri I think she was trying to comfort you and relieve the burden you felt.

ShanEnri's avatar

She was and I told her how much her words meant to me! My kids are truly awesome!

jca's avatar

@ShanEnri: Sorry about that. I thought your daughter was a child.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Just curious, how old is she? I see. She’s 24. Well, she hasn’t had a ton of life experience, but if it involves her she is certainly old enough to put in her two cents.

jca's avatar

OP said daughter is 24.

cazzie's avatar

If you raised such a wise daughter, chances are, you can make a good decision. How we live with our decisions defines our lives to a large degree. Looking positively to the future is a better way to live than regretting the past.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I don’t think there’s a generalization for this. I’d like to say that, but some of the hardest decisions I’ve royally fucked up.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Not so sure I agree.

I suppose that the rationalization for her comment is that you probably think more about a hard decision than you do an easy one, so it’s more likely that it’s the right one (assuming you think rationally).

But I have an issue with the generalization she makes – I don’t think it’s true. I know many people (including myself sometimes) that overthink things and make what is a simple decision into a real mess. There’s a real danger in making a simple decision into a hard decision.

Having said all that, most decisions are not that hard, if you get to the real question, whatever it is. The problem in so many cases is that there irrelevant complications and distractions that take you from the real question.

Pandora's avatar

I don’t agree because it’s a matter of perspective.
Let’s take your divorce or stay and make it work. Another person in your exact same situation may find what you think easy as being difficult or what you deem difficult as being an easy call.

wsxwh111's avatar

It actually doesn’t matter which one we will choose eventually, what matters is that we gotta spend our passion and energy and effort to prove that we made the right choice.

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