How can I politely turn down a potential client?

I would be honest. Just say I don’t see us being a good fit, I think you should look elsewhere. If they give you and grief just look them in the eye and say see why I don’t think we’d work well together?

It goes back to what I surely shared with you in previously. The couple can have the photos quickly, cheaply or of good quality: They need to pick two. If it is impossible to deliver based upon what they are requesting, stick to your gut instinct.

It would be better to be honest upfront and even recommend someone else in your industry. The couple will quickly learn that they can’t have it all (cheap, fast and quality). They will most likely learn that your honesty was worthwhile advice and either come back to you or regret their choice of another.

There are two alternatives here The first was suggested above.

But you need to ask yourself if you would be willing to do business with them even if they were willing to pay significantly more. My sense is no; the aggravation wouldn’t be worth it at any price.

If you want to avoid conflict and don’t mind a little white lie, tell them that you’re booked for that day. Another couple insisted on paying a significantly large deposit to secure that day and you just couldn’t turn them down. But don’t wait till they call you. You call then with the bad news and you’ve washed your hands of them for good.

It’s entirely up to you and how much conflict you want to deal with. Personally, for myself, i’d just be straightforward about it. But in this litigious day and age you never know who decides to sue for whatever reason.

But, either way, just be careful what you say and give as little extraneous info as possible.

Did you cut your prices for them? If you don’t they might not go with you anyway and you won’t have to worry about it.

You could lie. Call them tomorrow and say you have a family event that came up and wanted to let them know right away so they don’t waste time considering you, and that you will return their check ASAP.

@JLeslie

I don’t believe they paid her any deposit based on what she wrote in the details. She said that she will hold dates for up to a week only with no deposit, therefore she expects them to call within a week.

I misunderstood. She can still call and say the date won’t work for her. She can suggest other photographers for them.

Yes. And the fact that no money is involved makes it all that much easier.

If one is self-employed, it means precisely that. You’re the one who decides which employment you accept and which you choose not to.

I go with what @JLeslie. Just say the dates won’t work. I trust your instincts totally.

You can go with the truth. After considering everything you don’t feel you will be able to fulfill their expectations. That this is a bigger job than you usually take on. The problem with that is you wouldn’t want them saying that around town, because it might harm future business for you.

@Buttonstc, @JLeslie and @Dutchess_III Why lie? Why not just be honest with the couple who probably know nothing about the costs incurred for a wedding photography shoot, much less the business? Let the decision maker shop around and learn that this isn’t a cheap part of the wedding unless they get a close friend or family member to do it at minimal cost or for free.

By saying that the date that was tentatively booked is now unavailable will just discredit @ItalianPrincess1217‘s reputation. How would you feel if you believed that you had a date set with a photographer and they backed out of the verbal agreement by stating they already had that time/date booked?

I rely on contractors’ experience to ask questions of what is required, give a price and provide references. If it seems sketchy to me, I shop around. There are times when I’ve gone back to the original bidder, even if their price is higher.

@Pied_Pfeffer Not already booked. That an event came up. I agree closer to the truth is probably better. At first I said she should stick to charging what she thinks it’s worth and let them back out. Or, tell them after thinking it through, the job is turning out to be bigger than she is equipped to handle at this time.

I’m not completely clear where the negotiation ended.

“I have serious concerns that I cannot meet your expectations. I want you to be happy, and so I think it’s in everyone’s best interest that you use a different photographer. I hope you have a beautiful wedding and a long/happy marriage.”

^^ Really good.

I think you are too concerned with being polite. You should state your case to them as you have to us. In virtually every endeavor imaginable there is always someone around ready to “do it on the cheap”, and the timeless adage that “you get what you pay for” is more than just a slogan. If the quality of your work is top notch and your rates are already beneath prevailing levels for comparable work, then the suggestion that you drop them further is insulting.

I’ll join with others and say, call them before they call you.
I think the best tact is to simply say that you’ve re-calculated the cost carefully and cannot go any lower than ___X___ price to do their wedding and that you can’t make it any cheaper, sorry. If they are happy to pay that new, higher (or normal) amount, then you win. If they aren’t happy with your price then you win.

These are all good suggestions. Normally I would just be honest and upfront with someone but in this case I’m hesitant to be completely honest because my reputation is on the line. I’m almost certain being the type of people they are, they’ll be offended and probably leave me a bad review and spread the word to friends also. It’s quite possible they’ll do that anyway even if I go with the “already booked on that date” excuse. But I think I’d rather go with an excuse that is less personal than “We aren’t a good fit for each other.” I like the suggestion @JLeslie had about the family event. I can easily blame my husband on this one! “I apologize but my husband just informed me that his sister is getting married on that date and unfortunately I won’t be able to book your wedding.” Something along those lines perhaps?

@Buttonstc You’re absolutely right. When I think of it that way, no amount of money would make me want to work with these people. I started down this path because I enjoy taking photos and I enjoy making people happy. With clients like this, I would neither enjoy it nor make them happy. So no amount of money would convince me to change my mind. But the fact that they tried to get a lower price when I’m the lowest priced photographer in the whole city didn’t help their cause. They have champagne dreams on a beer budget.

Ask for a large deposit.

Here’s the email I typed up. Will this do?

Hi John and Jane,

It was really nice to meet with you today and you are such a great couple! I am so disappointed but my husband just informed me that his sister’s wedding has also been set for May 21, 2016 so unfortunately I will be unable to book anything else on that day. Again, I truly apologize and wish you the best in your future together as husband and wife.

Thank you,
Me

@talljasperman Dishonesty will always bite you in the ass.

@ItalianPrincess1217 Although there are exceptions where it’s okay to stretch the truth. That sounds okay to me.

@Adirondackwannabe I avoid even the smallest white lies. In this case I’m making an exception to my personal rule and trying to avoid the couple becoming offended by the real reason I can’t book their wedding. They’re stuck up, have no personality, have high expectations on a low budget, and demand too much for a beginner like myself. But I can’t imagine being honest in this case would be too good for business.

@ItalianPrincess1217 They sound toxic and I can’t see any other way to work around them. In this case protecting your business is more important.

You might not want to make it something as important as a relatives wedding. I think you would likely know about that, but blaming your husband sounds good. Although, when I first thought of a lie, I was thinking more like you just received the invitation, or just heard from your mother cousin Ana is having her baby shower that day. I would not offer up what the family event is actually. Too much talk is what liars do. They worry about having their story straight, and practice it in their heads, and then they blurt the whole thing out when no one was even asking any specific questions. Also, cross that date off your calendar to work a different event if you lie. If they find out you worked for someone else you’re caught. When you lie you have to see it completely through as much as possible.

If you can comfortably use the truth that is always best.

As I said before, the less extraneous detail the better. If you can get away with “important family event requiring our presence” that should do the trick and I’m sure hubby doesn’t mind shouldering the fictitious blame :)

That provides a logical reason for why you were unaware of it at the time you met with them. The excuse I suggested was just off the top of my head. The family angle is MUCH better. Who would begrudge someone their obligations to family first?

So, even if they decide to post a negative review, they will just end up sounding curmudgeonly. Besides, since no money changed hands, there was no actual booking. Everything was still in the tentative discussion stage.

Plus, I’m under the impression that business owners are allowed to post an explanation/rebuttal. Is this not the case?

Describing them as toxic really hits the nail on the head; not worth any amount of money. From your description of your meeting with them I sensed that it was much more about them rather than the money. You just don’t need the aggravation at any price.

The sooner they are out of your life the better.

@Pied

You wrote “Why lie?”

That’s a good question. Normally I’m the type to just come out with the straight truth and let the chips fall where they may.

But, as the OP pointed out, this is not just about the money. It’s about her instinct about their sucky demanding type of personalities which would probably not be satisfied no matter what. That’s her personal observation so her reluctance to book them is understandable. She shouldn’t have to.

She doesn’t want to turn them down due to prejudice regarding race, color, creed or sexual or gender orientation. AFAIK , there is no law protecting those with crappy, unpleasant, unreasonably demanding personality. She has the right to not want to deal with them.

I really don’t know of a polite way to state that. I suspect there isn’t one.

Plus, it’s clear they are still in the “looking around” stage. No date has been officially booked with a deposit. That’s when it gets tricky to back out. Fortunately it hasn’t reached that stage yet.

Sometimes, a non-offensive white lie is the better course if the truth wpuid be like hitting someone over the head with a sledge hammer.

Bottom line: she is not required to do business with them. That’s part of what being self-employed is all about; the freedom not to be.

Update:
I sent the email last night and received their response today. They wrote, “Thank you for letting us know so quickly. It was great to meet you too. Thank you & enjoy the wedding!” So I’d say that went over as good as it possibly could.

Nice job, good for you.

Good. I’m really glad that worked out well for you.

Good, @ItalianPrincess1217! Bet that’s a load off. Glad you did it ASAP, too.

I’ll be willing to be, however, that will not be the first potential client that wants you to give them the world but at a dirt cheap price, and will even tell you things to get you to believe that others are cheaper just to get your price down. That’s the tough part about being in business for yourself.

I disagree with most of the foregoing.

Do not attempt to look into a crystal ball and predict which customers will be “good” and which ones not so great, and then decide whether or not to do business based on that presumption. You’ll quickly find yourself shunning more business than you take on. That would be fine if your first work was on par with, say, The Catcher in the Rye, and would pay you royalties for the rest of your life as that book did for J.D. Salinger while he decided to live like a hermit after writing it.

What you need to do a better job of instead is being very clear to prospective customers who don’t know you, and especially those who give you the “difficult-to-please” vibe that these ones did, exactly what they can expect: One photographer; one camera; x hours; approximately y number of photos, etc. If you can, specify down to the number of prints, size and finish, paper that they’re printed on, etc. Be as explicit and detailed as possible.

Make the contract as detailed as possible so that you know exactly what you’re committing to in terms of time, quality, the pains you plan to take over and above your normal assumed high quality and care, OR so that they know in advance the corners that will have to be cut to meet their specified price, and will have no basis for later complaint on that basis. Be clear on what you expect to deliver, and then deliver at least that and hopefully a bit better than that.

Don’t turn away business, and don’t cut your prices just to get a foot in a door – which you may not want to enter in any case. If you want to be in this line of work you need to be highly professional; sometimes that might mean going with your gut to charge twice what you might otherwise to a more laid-back and mellow couple, but it does not mean “No, I don’t want this work because it might be too much trouble.” Being in business means – same as with cops, firefighters and Marines (to name a few) – looking for trouble and walking into it with your eyes open. (Yeah, hopefully this won’t be that much trouble…)

Take the work if you can get it, and price accordingly.

A psychological aspect of this that you also need to learn in your bones is the one that states “that which we achieve too cheaply we esteem too lightly”. Meaning, if you cut your price too low they’ll think that you’re no good at all and they will have more reason to find fault just on that basis, and not less. Don’t try to approach this work or any other as “the cheap alternative”, or it’s how you will be regarded. Don’t build that reputation for yourself.

She was concerned with an over reaction in a negative with because they seemed unreasonable. I’m glad she went with her instincts. She’s also a novice, just learning the ropes.

I used to have a daycare. One day this lady called me, looking for a new daycare provider. The old one, she claimed, had “drop kicked” her 6 year old son for playing with a baby too roughly.
Of course, I thought that was horrible, and asked if she’d reported the lady. I don’t remember what she said.
Anyway, I wound up with that kid in my day care. At some point I asked what had happened with his old babysitter. Well, he was sitting cross legged on the floor, holding a two year old. He was playing a little rough and the baby sitter nudged him with her toe. I sat down on the floor and asked him to demonstrate. He did. She NUDGED HIM with her toe. That is a far cry from a “drop kick.”
Well, I dropped that kid immediately.

@CWOTUS I do see where you’re coming from. I definitely plan to handle my business in that manner in the future when I’m more comfortable with weddings. Right now I have been sticking to photos of babies, toddlers, families, engagements, and small weddings. I took on a couple larger weddings only because they were friends of friends and were very easy going. In this case, I probably shouldn’t have even met with this particular couple but I think I was just hoping it would turn out that they were nice people who didn’t have such high demands. When I have more confidence and know I can provide exactly what a couple like them expects, I will probably never turn work down. At this point though, I think it’s better to protect myself from those types. After meeting with them I actually made the decision to take a step back from weddings altogether for now. I will do the ones I already have booked but after that, I will be focusing on the other things I listed earlier. I have a lot of growing to do still and I never expected business to blow up so quickly. As flattered as I am, I don’t want to take on too much, too soon.

so.. how’d it go?

Here @ninjacolin.

Gotcha. Good luck as you grow in your experience and confidence. (I never doubted it, really. Just wanted to remind you that no matter how good you get you will always have problem clients.)