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talljasperman's avatar

What is a cure for emotional agony when you don't know the cause?

Asked by talljasperman (21875points) August 24th, 2015

What specific pills or exercise or whatever works? What worked for you?

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9 Answers

DoNotKnow's avatar

I can try to give you an example from my life…Sometimes I am hit with tremendous sadness. But when I try to determine what is causing it or what is at the root of it, I’m left with just a vague existential explanation. Don’t get me wrong – I can come up with all kinds of things to be sad about, but I can’t be certain that those things are the cause of the sadness. Rather, it could be that the sadness becomes a lens through which I see things, and in that, many things identify as a cause.

So, without an identified cause, what I find works best for me is to make sure I’m not trying to not feel this sadness. I become extremely curious about it – but not about its cause. I turn my attention to how it feels to be sad. I practice self-compassion (but definitely not self-pity), and identify how it colors my experience. I may try to look at it so closely, that it will get slippery and elude my focus. In those moments, I may see that it’s not really as powerful or constant as I had imagined initially. Rather, it comes and goes moment to moment.

And when I accept that this is a just an emotion, and that it is temporary and interesting, I often find it just slip away. I obviously don’t request sadness, and I don’t campaign for its exit. Rather, I let it be and have space, and when it’s done it leaves as mysteriously as it appeared.

Kardamom's avatar

I think you need to know the cause before you can cure the agony, otherwise you’re just doing stuff to temporarily cover it up and prolong it.

A professional therapist can help you figure out what the problem is and give you concrete tools to employ, and steps to take, which might possibly include medications, to help you to feel better. Sometimes just wanting the problem to go away is not enough. There can be both physical and emotional traumas that simply can’t be wished away, especially if you are suffering from anxiety and depression, which it seems like you are. Those conditions are treatable, but you have to take steps to get help.

Of course, treating your body with care is also a step in the right direction. If you don’t nourish your body with healthy foods, or take care of yourself by engaging in physical activity, or getting enough restorative sleep, it can make any situation you’re suffering with worse.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

These will need to be done on a regular basis:

Reduce junk food
Reduce naps and sleeping.

zenvelo's avatar

I endorse what @Tropical_Willie said. The way to cure the agony is to find its cause, which is done through honest work with a psychotherapist.

That and self care through healthy eating and exercise.

There are no shortcuts.

janbb's avatar

Getting off my ass, out of my comfort zone and my own head and being with real live people. A walking group helped me immeasurably when I needed to adjust to a new life.

talljasperman's avatar

Thanks all. I cut out all drinks except water and milk. I am eating more healthy fruits and vegetables . I get plenty of sleep. My free therapy doesn’t seem to help much , but I will go maybe Tuesday (tomorrow ). I had agony when I went to university 15 years ago ( when i couldn’t pay for my medication and was dumped by my friends for being needy) ,and I am finally settling down. I still want to move back to Jasper national park. I’m somewhat homesick but I have a great apartment. I still believe that I am Astral traveling through time,( dejavu ) but I rely on that less and less as time moves on. I am with a placement service for disabled employment.

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JokersGirl7's avatar

therapy and exercise would be your best bet. are you on any medication right now? I know a lot of BCP’s especially cause hormone inbalances even if they are somewhat maintaing others. depression and sadness is one of the most common side effects of hormonal drugs. I know from experience.

My resolution was to work out, get your mind off of things and your body releasing different (healthy) hormones and you are getting good exercise. if this isn’t helping I would suggest seeing your doctor and/or a therapist. best of luck to you!

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