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Dutchess_III's avatar

What is one (or more) adjective(s) that you don't like being applied to yourself, even if it's in a complimentary way?

Asked by Dutchess_III (42453points) September 23rd, 2015

I don’t like the word “cute.” I didn’t like being called “cute” when I was a young woman. To me, “cute” = babies and baby animals. A “cute” woman, to me would be someone with big ole eyes and a little button nose and dimples when she grins, and one who giggles a lot. That was not me. Call me a fox, hot, beautiful, whatever, but not ‘cute!’

I posted one of my short “stories” about a portion of our camping trip this weekend. One person commented “Your (stories) are so cute!” I gave her a ‘like’ for it, though it isn’t the word I’d us.

But…maybe it means a different thing to others than it does to me.

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35 Answers

Pachy's avatar

In this case, it’s the adjective I prefer to be called (Jewish) rather than the noun (Jew). That’s what my parents taught me and I’ve always felt they were right.

Dutchess_III's avatar

“Jew” has acquired some negative overtones through the years, too.

Pandora's avatar

@Dutchess_III I get cute too and it use to annoy me but then I realized it could be worse, I could be thought, old, ugly, mean, stupid, and a host of other words that are very negative, or even worse. No adjectives because no one really pays you any mind. I think it really depends on how they say it and when. Cute can be condescending when used to describe your views.

I dislike being told I look beautiful when I know I am not. I know people do it to be nice but I hate being lied too. At best I can be cute, and on most days I’m not ugly or pretty, just plain ok and on my worst days, I look sickly and a bit icky. But my beautiful days are 10 years behind me. Cute I can see because I have a heart shape face,that is rounder now, big eyes, two deep dimples when I smile, full lips and a small nose. When my face was thinner and my skin firmer and blemish free I was very attractive.
Now my hair is also mostly white. I look like a Puerto Rican Mrs. Clause. Beautiful is a lie.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Pandora yes…it annoyed me. That’s the word. I know that I should have been grateful, rather than annoyed, because there are women who may never be called beautiful or cute in their whole life. I know that. I also know I was simply very, very lucky so I shouldn’t whine, but it was still annoying. To me it sounds like an immaturity. I would hesitate to go out with a guy who called me “cute”. Can you send me a pic, @Pandora?)

And yes…when she posted that my stories are so “cute” It struck me as a little condescending, but I don’t think she meant it that way. I think she meant it as an actual compliment so I gave her a “like.”

filmfann's avatar

Pretty much anything. If someone says I am funny and smart, I always think “well, I am more than that”. Labels are limiting.

jca's avatar

I don’t take the word “cute” as an insult. I think it seems the woman meant it in a complimentary way.

As far as my looks go, it wouldn’t be an insult, either, to me.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@Pandora why can an older woman not be beautiful? Beauty has different perspectives.

Dutchess_III's avatar

We just ain’t @ZEPHYRA.

wsxwh111's avatar

Giant/ tall.
I’m not short, but does everyone have to start their first conversation with “wow you are really tall, how tall are you?”
Come on you can do better.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, I have been wondering that myself, @wsxwh111. Seriously, it’s keeping me up at night wondering how tall you are. So how tall are you?

wsxwh111's avatar

20cm higher than average

Dutchess_III's avatar

…I don’t know cm….

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Dutchess_III how about some 7.8 inches?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Thank you….. he’s not 7’ 8”! Is he? Are you @wsxwh111?

wsxwh111's avatar

I’m starting to regret answering to this question in the first place so sorry, you’ll have to figure other questions which you mentioned above yourself.

Mimishu1995's avatar

And to answer the question, I can be called pretty much anything. I don’t mind the word cute and I can’t figure out why anyone dislike that. Maybe you are old @Dutchess_III and you think you prefer to be called something better suits elders like wise or something?

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Being 5’9’’, “tall” is one I don’t tend to like, either. Growing up, I always got asked if I played basketball because of it, and guys hated that I was their height and women never stopped reminding me of how much they wouldn’t like to be as tall as me.

I loathe “lady-like” for many reasons. The last person who called me a “proper lady” had no idea that I was burying their body in my head. :P

wsxwh111's avatar

@DrasticDreamer Oh the basketball assuming, tell me about it. “Such a waste you don’t play” or “If I’m of your height I can play so much better” when I tried it or “I would like it if you give me 10cm.”
Oh for god’s sake I’ve already been overbooked for 3000cm just let me slip this one will you dude

jca's avatar

@DrasticDreamer: I’m 5 foot 9 too. I’d so much rather be tall than short.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@wsxwh111 Or “Can you please come get this down for me?” Every. single. day. Lol

@jca I still go back and forth sometimes, but the older I get, the easier it’s becoming to just accept myself for who I am. It would have been nice if the comments I’d received growing up had been more positive than negative, but alas. But hey, at least I know I’m not going to be a tiny old person when I start shrinking. :D

wsxwh111's avatar

Yeah I guess we got to try to gradually accept whatever we are(or we think we are).
Once in a long time when others say “How can you be so tall?” I just say “I’m surprised, too.”
Other time I just look down on them and say “Dwarf.” in my head ahaha

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

I totally agree with @ZEPHYRA. Beauty isn’t about age and it is in the eyes of the beholder.

I don’t like being told I’m bossy. I’m assertive. Men aren’t referred to as bossy. It seems to be reserved for strong women.

Pandora's avatar

@ZEPHYRA I’m not saying woman my age can’t be, I’m just not delusional about my lack of beauty. I can be cute but the beauty I once had when I was younger is gone. Even then it was mostly because of make up. Make up afforded me the ability to look polished and pretty,especially since my face was thinner then. I kind of look like my avatar. Cute was usually my default look. I could buy it back then that some people thought I was beautiful but looks do change with the years and I don’t nor would I ever want plastic surgery. I’m quite happy with the way I look.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@Pandora yes, I totally agree and I am wise enough too to know that the dewy freshness of yesteryear is gone for good. However, I am referring to a mature kind of beauty, the type that may not be youthful but is certainly a beauty of its own. An example of a very old yet beautiful woman is Betty White.

P.S. That you in the avatar? Oh yes, you ARE beautiful.

Pandora's avatar

@ZEPHYRA Yeah, but that would depend on taste I guess. I think Betty White is cute. Like the way Gracie Allen was. Now when Betty White was young she was very beautiful. I actually think there needs to be another adjective to describe an older woman who has a kind of beauty that isn’t youthful but beautiful all the same. I guess graceful is as close as it can come or a distinguished beauty.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Mimishu1995 your response to me wasn’t very well thought out and it was a bit insulting. Reread the details again, please.

My son is 6’4”. We were at a family reunion at a park last weekend. I had brought a box of washable kid paints for the raffle. When I brought them to the pavilion I learned they weren’t ready to set them out. I didn’t want to walk all the way back to the RV AGAIN so I asked my son to put them up in the rafters of the pavilion. It was about 9 feet up. He did so with ease. Didn’t even have to stand on his tip toes. He is a very useful kind of guy!

wsxwh111's avatar

And with all due respect, how much taller than average male height of your country is your son?

wsxwh111's avatar

20cm is 7.87 feet, which I suppose would take less than 3 seconds to google it.
I guess your son is 4’’ taller than the average(if you are from Holland), so I guess imagine what it is like to be 6’7’’ in your country, and that will be closer to the way I feel than 6’4’’.
BTW, I checked again and Chinese average height is 5cm shorter than i think so actually I’m 10’’ taller. So maybe 6’10’’ would be fine.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, gosh. I have to find the average height of an American male, because I have no idea. Is it important? But I’ll find out.

Dutchess_III's avatar

According to this source the average male in the US is 5’9½”. Sounds about right. So he’d be 7 inches taller than the average ‘Merikan male. My dad was 6’5” so my son has that in the mix.

Also, from that same source, which I found interesting, the tallest men on earth are from the Netherlands, standing at 6ft 0in, which would make my son 4 inches taller than the average Dutch guy. My grandparents came from Holland.

On the other hand, the shortest people are from Indonesia standing at 5ft 2in tall. He has a good mess of Indo in him, too, so that would make him 14 inches taller than the average Indonesian.

It’s all good. :D

wsxwh111's avatar

Yep I think 7’ or 8’’ taller than average are perfect. 10’’ is a little tall, but I’m fine.

wsxwh111's avatar

People around me find me “useful”, too(exactly the same word), and I’m fine with that, too. Happy to obligate.

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