Social Question

thuyle21's avatar

Help, I'm confused?

Asked by thuyle21 (66points) October 21st, 2015

As a girl, I claimed myself to be bisexual. When it comes to guys, i viewed them as attractive and I liked them, but then it fades really quickly. I realized that I am not into them after I’m physical with them and then slowly fade away from their life.For some reason, I never seem to become attach to them emotionally or physically. It’s more like a crush and when the relationship happens, it never feels right. When it comes to girl I’m attracted to them too,but I never been in an actual relationship with them. But I can easily become emotionally attached to them more than guys. It just when I’m with a girl, they are more emotionally invested than I am and then become possessive towards me.I play the more dominate role with them. So I’m just confused on my sexuality right now.

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13 Answers

Pandora's avatar

I’m not gay so I’m not completely sure but a gay friend (male) once told me he wasn’t sexually attracted to women. He finds the idea of being with a woman repulsive. The same way a straight person isn’t attracted to someone of the same sex. So I would think if you are attracted to both, you may very well be bisexual. Also new a bisexual guy years ago. And he said he definitely liked women more but he like guys as well. He also said it was easier to feel a bond with women. He liked guys just for the sex but not the emotional attachment. Maybe being bisexual is like liking blonds better than brunettes. Just a personal preference.

msh's avatar

You’ve got some pretty big things to figure out. Unfortunately, none of them are easily done, either. You don’t have any time limits, which is really a positive thing.
You are very aware of your emotions about different relationships. But what you (and everyone else, for that matter!) are frustrated over is finding that best fit for yourself. What you want, that lets you be who you are, being happy and content, and still attracted to whomever it works out to be.
After everything, I have heard of truly wonderful things coming from those who seek out LGBT source in their community. A place where there are other people searching and finding out more about themselves also. Groups, meetings, counseling, sources, etc., are available. What better way to talk to others and figure yourself out in a safe environment?Going out on the social scene while trying to figure these things out might have just the opposite effect. People in the safety and guise of ‘social play’ can play games and lead or use other people more easily. Sharpen their own claws on others. Not good.
Why not research the closest center and give them a call or stop by? Stop by. Invest yourself in you. Who deserves it more?
You’ll be fine. Things will come together. Reach out for help, and get there in a happy, healthy way. Be happy. Do well. Everything will come clear for you. Take care~

filmfann's avatar

Maturing will help.

syz's avatar

Why do you need a label?

ucme's avatar

You’ll figure it out, one day.

zenvelo's avatar

There is a broad spectrum of sexuality, not just a few categories to drop into. The wonderful thing is you get to explore that and find out for yourself what your preference is, what rocks your boat and what doesn’t.

Even bisexuality has a variety of personas. Some are physically attracted to one sex but emotionally attracted to the other. Some are open to anything with anyone, some prefer emotional and physical connection with one sex while occasionally exploring the other sex.

The only “rules” are: be honest with yourself, take care of your self, and always be open and honest with partners.

_Seek_'s avatar

If you wanted a label (because labels are all the rage), you could call it bisexual, homoromantic. And that’s totally cool.

I’m a demi-pansexual, myself. Not concerned with biological sex or gender identity, but I can’t feel sexual attraction without an emotional bond.

We’re all different flavors.

Bill1939's avatar

There is a difference between sexual and emotional attraction. Initially, each usually occurs without the other being present, but often one evolves from the other. Inculcated prejudices often inhibit sexual and emotional feelings towards the same sex. Without our cultural biases, however, everyone would enjoy the pleasure of engaging in sex with either gender. The tendency to be emotionally attracted to one gender over another has to do with experiences at an early age. Regardless of the source, one’s preference for their attraction is correct.

BlackSwanEffect's avatar

It sounds like you just haven’t met the right person yet. Of either sex. I’m assuming you’re young, and it takes time for people to develop relationship skills. Some, like the boys you mention, don’t have the skill to hold your attention. Others, like the girls you mention, are too clingy. When you meet the right person, they will both be interesting enough to hold your attention, and respect you enough to allow you to exercise your independence.

I wouldn’t get hung up on labels if I were you. Most girls I’ve spoken to have at one time or another been attracted to other girls. Most of these girls have become exclusively straight as they get a bit older. It’s ok either way, but it is normal for girls to be attracted to girls at some stage. Particularly when the quality of guys around them is low.

_Seek_'s avatar

It’s normal for anyone to be attracted to anyone. The “quality of guys around them” is immaterial.

Coloma's avatar

Sounds like basic immaturity to me. The hot burn and then the quick fade. I think this has less to do with you being confused about your sexuality than it does base emotional immaturity, not being ready to commit to a real relationship and yes, don’t label yourself, maybe you’re just trying on the different hats of sexuality and once you gain more maturity you may settle on one hat that fits you best. Immature love is hot, mature love is steadily warm.

Younger people are often easily bored and constant seeking of new novel situations is not uncommon.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

You sound like most girls I have dated

rojo's avatar

self edited. Off topic.

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