Would you share a favourite quote with me?

“If Breaking Bad has taught me anything it’s that you can’t make money unless you sell Meth.” —Abe Noxious

“Forget about it Jake. It’s Chinatown,”

and

Mr. Braddock: Ben, this whole idea sounds pretty half baked.
Benjamin: No, it’s not. It’s completely baked.

Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.”

“A very popular error: having the courage of one’s convictions; rather it is a matter of having the courage for an attack on one’s convictions!!!”
—Friedrich Nietzsche

It’s on my profile. George Carlin said: ‘think of how stupid the average person is. Then realize that half of the people is even stupider than that*

What we lose in form we gain in wisdom unknown

Be of the world but not in it Coloma

Leave it to me to put all of my eggs in one bastard. Dorothy Parker

What fresh new hell is this? Dorothy Parker

Progress was once a fine thing but it has gone on far too long Sam Clemens, AKA Mark Twain

When you fall I will be there to catch you, with love, the floor. anonymous

God doesn’t kill people, people who follow God do random quote from Google Image

I need a topic.

Absent that, I quote the late, great Yogi Bera:
“Never answer an anonymous letter.”
“The future ain’t what it used to be.”

Final answer:
Mark Twain: “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.” P.K. Dick

Oh, if we’re going to talk about reality . . .

“Reality is the leading cause of stress among those who are in touch with it.”
        —Jane Wagner

“I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe – I believe what I believe is right.”

George W. Bush

The jakes is occupied

—Rooster Cogburn

“Jesus wept” – The Bible.

“When it is dark enough, you can see the stars”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson

“In war and in life nothing is so precious as truth, and thus as the ancient wisdom holds: where truth walks, everywhere she should be shepherded always by a bodyguard of lies”

- Magnar Albia

“You only truly possess what will not be lost in a shipwreck”
-(alternatively: “lost at sea”) loosely paraphrased from the Sufi poet El Ghazali. It’s stuck with me for years.

Also:

“If she comes circling back, we’ll end up where we begun, like two pennies on the train track the train crushed into one” -from “In a Sweater Poorly Knit” by mewithoutYou. For more personal and less universal reasons.

Life is Hell, with a few nice things thrown in to keep you quiet.
Me.
(I know. Shocker, huh?)

No birds
No bees,
No flowers
No leaves,
November.
My Mom’s poetry collection. No credits were listed.

Who are those guys?
Butch and Sundance

If you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles.
Sun Tzu

“Also I say to you, whoever confesses Me before men, him the Son of Man also will confess before the angels of God.”
Jesus Christ, God the Son

If you have to ask how much it costs, you can’t afford it.
J. P. Morgan

Ooo- I almost forgot!

Get back from the television, it’s bad for you!
Go put socks on, it’s cold in here! I’m not paying the doctor bill!
Quit scuffing your feet, those are your school shoes!
Don’t twist the swing chains, it’ll choke you.
Don’t cross your eyes, they’ll stick like that.
No, quit it, I don’t have a favorite.
Turn out the lights for crying out loud! Who pays the electric bills around here?
You scrape all the butter/margerine off of that foil wrapper on that stick! Don’t waste it!
Go wake your sisters up. Tell them I said not to hit you.
Don’t make me come up there you two.
Why would you swallow chewing gum? C-h-e-w-i-n-g G-u-m?
Funny, funny Dick and Jane. Knock it off!
Judas Priest Girl! ( I thought my middle name was priest for years…)
Do you want to wake up tomorrow?
You go out past this driveway and into the street- keep running!
No, your not adopted, who told you that?
Jump on that bed somemore, go on- you’ll be sleeping on the floor.
What’s the magic word? Oops, wrong word…
Get away from me- you already ate your dessert!
Turn on that light- you’re going to strain your eyes and go blind!
No one is going to be playing with that toy in about a minute!
Take two pieces of candy- they’re small.
~ my parents. I’d give anything to hear them again…

When the Last Tree Is Cut Down, the Last Fish Eaten, and the Last Stream Poisoned, You Will Realize That You Cannot Eat Money.

“To know, is to know that you know nothing. That is the meaning of true knowledge.”
Socrates

“No one here gets out alive.”
Jim Morrison

Don’t piss down my back then tell me it’s rainin”

Shit loads more from movies that I use a lot in everyday life, when the situation demands.

De gustibus non est disputandum

I’m handing out lollipops and asswhoppings. And I’m already out of lollipops – Will & Grace

Grace to Jack

A cynic is a man who upon encountering the scent of flowers, looks around for a coffin. H L Mencken

Beam me up, Scotty. There’s no intelligent life here.

“I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade…and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” -Ron White

If you can’t fuck a friend, who can you fuck?

“Lah-de-fuckin-dah”

“Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.”

—Groucho Marx

“The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones”

Act3, Scene II, Julius Caesar, Wm. Shakespeare

You can’t make sense
out of NONsense.

“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.”

― Leonard Cohen

Stupid is as stupid does- Forrest Gump

“My father says almost the whole world’s asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says only a few people are awake. And they live in a state of constant, total amazement.”

~Meg Ryan in ‘Joe vs. the Volcano’

Life is what happens while you’re making your plans. – Allen Saunders

“Life, don’t talk to me about life” Marvin, the paranoid android

“The purest love is loving someone for who they are, not what they do.”

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.”

Mark Twain

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
Mahatma Gandhi

“Let us fly. Let us save ourselves.” Alexandre Dumas