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dammitjanetfromvegas's avatar

How would you like your Fluther profile to look after you die?

Asked by dammitjanetfromvegas (4593points) October 31st, 2015

Would you like it to stay as is?

Would you mind if a memorial or tribute was added after you leave us?

Any other wants or suggestions for those who have passed away?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

29 Answers

Mimishu1995's avatar

I vote for a tribute for loving jellies who passed away (Gail for example).

As for me, I’d rather let the collective decide how it looks. I don’t want to force anyone to mourn for me if I’m a dick.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Neither, mine will be gone long before i die. If i am still in this Lagoon when i die I would have deserved to go by a bullet in the noggin.

Here2_4's avatar

Need a volunteer to take the shot?
I think instead of messing around with a member’s page, we should invent a page. The mods could maintain it. It could list members who are gone, either permanently, or long term, for whatever various reasons. There could be the profile name listed, a link to their profile page, a few stats. Anyone could follow the page, as with following fellow members. That way a profile page can stay as it was when the member left, but a tribute can be easily accessed.
I have already wished for such a page to be available.

stanleybmanly's avatar

With luck, I’ll simply vanish unnoticed.

chyna's avatar

I would want mine to be left as is.

marinelife's avatar

@chyna Really? In perpetuity? I suppose it could be a new kind of epitaph. I think I would want mine taken down. I would want people to see me through my answers.

ragingloli's avatar

It would be a list of links to virus laden web pages and troll sites

ZEPHYRA's avatar

I would want it swallowed by a big shark.

Seek's avatar

My husband is under specific instructions to, when I die, donate my body to whoever wants it (with hope toward medical students – I have to look into the specifics of how to donate your body to science), log into all of my social media accounts and inform everyone of my passing, then throw a massive party in my honour – no Amazing Grace or 23rd Psalm allowed.

What youse guys do after that is up to you and whatever makes you happy.

Coloma's avatar

I’d hope, if I’m still around with knowledge of my impending demise, that my profile page might remain for a month or two, maybe, with the notation of “member deceased.” haha
After that, time to fade into oblivion, but, whatever happens it won’t matter because I will be dead. I’d probably do what Gail did, have my daughter make the announcement and then sweep my profile page away after a short period of time.

chyna's avatar

@marinelife Yeah, I think so. That way if people came across my answers and wanted to know more about me, they could go to my profile. They could see the last time I was active so they would assume I had just left Fluther and not the planet.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Here2_4 Need a volunteer to take the shot?
You mean beat out @ragingloli and @usmc (—even though he hasn’t showed yet) to get that zinger in? Man, they must be slipping—~~~

Dutchess_III's avatar

IDK. I guess I would leave that up to my family since I won’t be seeing it any more.

dappled_leaves's avatar

I think I would want a line at the bottom of the profile saying I was deceased. Not a tribute or anything, just information for people looking to contact or follow me. It’s hard to say. I wonder this about my Facebook profile sometimes – should I have it taken down, or left up with the wall disabled, or what? All I know is that I become increasingly aware of the necessity of willing my passwords to someone.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I know, right @dappled_leaves? They need to know that I use Carbonite to back all my stuff up. They need to be able to get into my photobucket account. So much stuff we put into places without a second thought.

hearkat's avatar

I don’t really care what happens with my stuff. My sweetie has all my passwords, so he would make an announcement on FB for sure, but eventually on other sites like this, too.

As someone whose lost online friends before this, I do like the idea of some changes being made by the site managers – some sort of graphic to indicate that the person is no longer with us. I also think the ability to send Private Messages on a website should be disabled somehow – I know I sometimes get messages from new users and if I haven’t logged in for a while, I feel bad; I don’t think people know to look at the date last logged in, so they might send a message to someone and get a bad impression when they get no reply. I guess that putting some sort of symbol or notation on the page where one would go to send a message would address both of these concerns, without being too obnoxious.

dxs's avatar

Do whatever you want. I’d be gone so it wouldn’t matter to me.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

I’d want my family to let you all know I’m gone. Beyond that, I think I’d prefer a note that I’ve died on my profile, but that’s all. I don’t really care beyond that. Whatever works for all of you. Hopefully it won’t matter for quite a long time.

JLeslie's avatar

A line that I was deceased sounds good to me. Maybe a few links to my most popular Q’s.

I rely on you all to do something, I don’t know if my husband would log on for me. Maybe I should mention it to him. Maybe he would at least do something on Facebook and Fluther would find out that way. A jelly would see the Facebook post. He only goes on Facebook once a month at best, so even that is sketchy.

ibstubro's avatar

In the case of Gail, I think it would be nice if the family chose to link to the tribute question.

When I die, I expect that no one on Fluther will have direct knowledge of that unless I tell them (and that’s not too likely), and no one in daily life will know or care what Fluther is. I think I’d request that my desktop PC be obliterated, as is.

It should be up to family or friends. I don’t really think the moderators or other users should be able to modify a member’s profile, for any reason, without a permanent change in the rules.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I liked what Tim Truman did for Everphoebe’s page. I’d like something like that. It let’s people know I’m gone.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

I think a memorial wall would be nice. A place we could leave our thoughts, poetry, personal experiences we shared, epitaphs to our friends in their passing. Maybe with the ability to leave little icons, flowers, art we shared…

I also think it would be nice if their profile page could have, under the decease notice, an unobtrusive memorial box where we could do the same and also link to our individual posts on the memorial wall. Otherwise, I think their profile pages should stay the same, most importantly a working Responses button, so we can reminisce the good times we had in all those run-away party threads and other fine Fluther moments.

It is good for the family and loved ones to see and facilitates termination, an integral part of coping with loss.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

The memorial wall could list each name with individual comments dropdown menus underneath that can be clicked open for contributions and perusal. Each name could be a hyperlink to their profile page. This would prevent cluttering the the wall’s quiet, understated environment.

There could be a similar MIA wall as well. I remember many times we have wished for our former friends who’ve left for one reason or another expressing how much we miss their absence, I think this would help bring some back who left in heated moments. People want to be appreciated and when they don’t feel they are, they often leave, sometimes over the most seemingly trivial events. There are a few I’d like to know what happened to that none of us seem to be able to contact, such as Dr_Dredd. Having a place they can go to see how much they were appreciated can make a big difference, and can be healing to us all.

ibstubro's avatar

Although well thought and heartfelt suggestions, @Espiritus_Corvus, realistically, you’re asking a lot when resources are thin.

Moderators are few and far between.
Fluther’s site development is on an emergency basis only.

I don’t really want anyone without administrative access to my password making changes to my page.

ucme's avatar

This is an irrelevance because it’s a pretty fair bet Fluther will be gone long before I am.

Response moderated
Buttonstc's avatar


Apparently you didn’t read his profile all that well. He made it clear how he felt about being called Phoebe.

If @Everephebe caught you calling him Phoebe, he’d drop-kick your ass into the next county, ha ha :D

The name is Ever Ephebe (Ephebe meaning young; therefore, Ever Young).

augustlan's avatar

I like what we did with everephebe’s profile, too: “RIP. We will miss you, Daniel. 1987 – 2013”

The rest of his profile remains unchanged. If I can remember how to get in to a profile page, I might be able to do something similar for Gail.

augustlan's avatar

In Gail’s case, her daughter has just taken care of the profile. See here. :)

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