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Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Guys, do you still court your wife in ways you did before you married her?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26821points) November 4th, 2015

I read a quote by someone that said in so many words, that the key to a successful marriage is to never stop courting your wife. Thinking on that, I know some men who still have ”Date Night” with their wives even though they have been married for more than 5 years. What do you do, if any? Do you still spontaneously get her flowers, bring her lunch unasked at work, and leave Post-Its saying how you love her or what she means to you? Have you slacked off doing a lot of those little things over the years? Do you have a ”Date Night” where you and her do something special without the kids (if you have any)?

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22 Answers

Dutchess_III's avatar

Hell no he doesn’t!

elbanditoroso's avatar

It goes both ways.

Maybe that’s why I am divorced.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@elbanditoroso It goes both ways.
Maybe that’s why I am divorced.
If you loved each other because one stopped doing those small niceties it should not have eroded the love. Maybe they were a manifestation of something larger? Regardless, where do you think doing those things went south, once you had each other it was more about taking care of things, and choirs and forgot the other person (in a sense)?

Seek's avatar

No, he doesn’t, thank goodness. Fortunately our relationship has moved past emails, phone calls, and absurdly expensive flowers.

I wish we had all the money we spent eating out and going to movies while we were dating…

Dutchess_III's avatar

My husband knows I would keel him if he spent $50 on useless flowers!

ucme's avatar

Every winter that we get snow, I go out with the wife & throw snowballs in her face until her eyes are bloodshot & her nose is as ruby red as that of Rudolph.
That’s how you show you fancy a girl around these here parts, keepin it fresh man.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Seek No, he doesn’t, thank goodness. Fortunately our relationship has moved past emails, phone calls, and absurdly expensive flowers.
Well, what low cost or no cost thing(s) has he moved onto, if you don’t have a ”Date Night” or any flowers and such?

Seek's avatar

Um, filling the holes in my Star Trek novel collection?

Seek's avatar

Seriously, though, the most commonly given gifts in my relationship are books, comic books, and record albums. There are rules: no ebay or Amazon allowed. It must be purchased from a used book store or other non-chain store.

filmfann's avatar

Married 31 years, and we still have “date nights”. That might be one reason we have stayed married so long.

JLeslie's avatar

My husband does. It’s not exactly the same as when we were first dating, but he still does things that show he thinks about me and wants to do things for me. If date night is eating out, then we do that once a week. Sometimes it feels like a date, but not always. It feels like a date or adventure when we go to a tourist destination, like a museum or the beach, or try a new thing like kayaking. He wants me to choose a vacation every year, because he realizes we do a lot of travel for his hobby. He does send me cute texts and most of the time he starts a phone conversation with a voice that tells me he is happy to hear from me. He wants me with him. Not in the possessive, controlling way, but in the I enjoy your company way. I think he have me flowers once or twice, but eventually I told him I don’t want flowers. I don’t like to spend money on flowers, I’d rather it spent on going places and practical things. The thought is very nice when flowers are sent, but it’s not my preference.

stanleybmanly's avatar

I didn’t exactly court my wife. In fact her mocking nickname for me was “captain romance”. Her version is that she “snatched me off the market” after noticing that I spoiled kids. She brags to her girlfriends “When I saw what was goin on I figured ‘Hey, why should I miss out”. I still spoil her rotten, and I’m still about as romantic as a can of tuna.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I’m lucky if my husband remembers my birthday. Literally.

LadyInRedd's avatar

I’m an odd woman.. when we met.. I told my then Bf/ now husband to NOT buy me flowers, I felt they are a waste of $$.. I’d be more pleased if we took a walk hand in hand while he picked some wild flowers & handed them to me along a path…

Had a friend who told me her husband/ then BF for their 1st date, stopped along the road on his motorcycle to pick her some.. and gave them to her at the door.. I loved that story !!...

Myself & H are still very romantic.. after all these yrs… we still enjoy getting off alone.. little vacations.. we are both “touchy/ feely” types, high in Time & Touch (on the love language scale).. the others are “Words of affirmation, gifts, and acts of service”...

I never cared much about gifts. he knows this.. but his wanting to cuddle up to a movie with me… I’m in bliss.. this is what we enjoy…

I can’t say my husband has changed much at all after all these years.. he’s still the sweet loving man he was when we were dating….which I am very thankful for.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Pretty sure most females here are with you on the the flower issue, @LadyInRedd, so it isn’t odd at all.
Welcome to Fluther!

Seek's avatar

Definitely. I just told my little boy that I’d rather he show me the flower than pick it for me. That way we can both see it alive and healthy.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Yes. If this site reflected standard consumer trends, I suspect several bullshit industries might collapse. We’re quite the crowd of snooty elitists.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I DON’T WANT FLOWERS I JUST WANT SOME CONSTRUCTION GLUE THAT YOU DON’T HAVE TO USE IN CONJUNCTION WITH A CLAMP!!!!!

Seek's avatar

I want a new Dremel.

Dutchess_III's avatar

You can use a really small dremel to even out your teeth. Did you know that? Well, you can, and I did.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Risky business!

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, it helps to use a mirror @stanleybmanly. ;)

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